Hi Everyone,
My name is Dawn. I am 36 years old and live in NJ. DH and I have two children. DS is 4 and DD is 3. Both kids were adopted from the foster care system. They were both exposed to cocaine and alcohol in utero.
My son attends a preschool disabled program for his speech delay and impulsivities. The Child study team says he is showing signs of ADHD. His pediatrician won't diagnose the disorder until he's in kindergarten. So, I have been managing the disorder with the Feingold/organic diet so far. I have consulted a chiropractor regarding the disorder. I really don't want to medicate him unless all other non medicinal routes have failed.
Our son's behavior is at it's worst. Something small with set him off and he's destroying his stuff, throwing, kicking, spitting, biting. You name it...he's done it. It seems like it happens more at bedtime or when he's tired. We have maintained a pretty normal schedule but he's been playing more outside since it's getting darker later now.
I haven't been made aware of any of these incidents at school. Just at home. It's getting really bad. Last night, it took us over an hour to get him to stay in bed without screaming and kicking the walls. I finally found some lavender lotion and rubbed his back and put a little on his pillow to help him relax.
This morning, I was on the phone with mother in law when he asked me to clean his ears. When I told him I would take care of his ears when I was finished talking, he proceeded to smash blueberries onto my wood floor. I made him clean up the mess. That started a battle. I escorted him to his room and left him alone. He threw shoes, books and anything he could get his little hands on to throw. He screams and kicked the walls. It was hard, but I continued to leave him alone. I figured he was doing these things to get negative attention so I didn't give into it. I was very hard for me not to react...especially all I wanted to do is cry.
I don't know how to help him anymore...so I am seeking your advice. Any suggestions?? I like the marble idea and may try that. We have been using Happy/Sad face to TV time. But, we need more. We tried stickers and removing privileges ( Tv time), and time outs for discipline. We used stickers, tv time, movie nites and popsicles for rewards.
Hi Dawn
OK, I dont envy you..............a 4 year old ADHD'er............the WORST. Sorry, had to say that. 4 is horrible ADHD or not. They are so..................yuck..........
You are doing everything right. WOW, good for you. It may not feel like you're getting anywhere, but you are, you so are, keep doing what you're doing.
Do start a positive reward system to enhance you current behavior plan. It makes all the difference in the world. Not overnight, but it WILL happen. The marble system or a derivitive of it is perfect. Be sure there is at least one or two things you create in order to hep him succeed. So if he say, always brushes his teeth without a fight put that on your behaviors to work on so he will ALWAYS ear marbles. We all know they do plaenty to have them taken away .
Try adding Omega 3's to his diet. Look on the alternatives section of this forum for TONS and TONS of information on them.
Good luck and welcome