How do you handle med breaks? | ADHD Information

granny fran

i, too, am an ADDer and i just could not disagree more with your post. as Yme's son said - he likes to be himself. as even Hallowell (the great ADD awareness-writer) he would NEVER, EVER want to lose his ADD.

i don't like your post because you presume somewhere that everyone who has ADD, has a brain that is like having the tv and the radio on at the same time --- well, that's just NOT true.

and there are a billion ADDers out there - who regardless of what their family or society or anyone thinks and regardless of how difficult and annoying it makes their life or how badly life-impacting in a material sense it may be for them just simply would NOT, not for ANYTHING ever want to go on meds - and the reason is nothing to do with health scares or worries but the JOY of having the flip side of the downside to ADD. the creativity, the different perspective, the sense of closeness to spirituality --- the whole gamut of it. from Mozart to Van Gogh to St. Francis to poets, painters, you name it!

i am not disputing that the way you describe it is the way it is FOR YOU. but it is not fair to label all ADDers.

i keep on saying this and i really believe it - there is a whole whack load of different problems that get labeled ADD.

you know what i think - i think NOT being ADD is a fulltime disorder.

that normals are the ones with the damn problems - normals are so busy being normal and running their shops and being reliable and responsible and accountable and all that crap they never have a chance to do anything or even have an interest in writing a symphony or climbing Everest or creating a artistic masterpeice and anyway they couldn't because they don't understand anything A-Z - you just don't GET IT. and for an ADDer that is THE point of life. that side of life is the only point of life...

i want to SCREAM sometimes here --- cannot anyone of you parents see the positives in ADD. you just seem so frightened of it - of not being acceptable, normal, conventional.

you know what this whole conversation reminds me of that part in the film "the Golden Compass" where they decide they are going to cut off the "daemons" from the children because they cause problems for them.

aaaarrrrggghhhhh!

i DO know that there are lots of ADDers who would rather NOT be ADD. and that's why they take their medication but please, at least acknowledge, that there are loads and loads who want to be nothing more than ADD - regardless of how difficult it makes their life. i feel like getting down on my knees and begging you to understand, just understand that's all, that point.
chjones39619.1799652778Wow, thank you everyone for your passionate responses. For the record my husband does mean well but he, like every ADHD parent, gets frustrated. We always start the med breaks with a lot of patience and understanding but by the time he punches his brother or breaks something...

That being said, I know my son is the type that loves his ADHD. When I told him that I was hyperactive as a child he frowned and said, "but you never use it."

My dream would be to take him some place safe and let him off his meds and just let him bounce and move from project to project and cry and laugh and have no order or expectation. But that's a dream, not our reality. The reality is that our Gas & Electric bill is 0 and has to be paid, that he gets kicked out of the community summer camps so I have to pay three times as much to send him to a smaller camp with more (expensive) activities. And his grandmother will not watch him without his meds, she is too old the handle him. But as hard as it is, I know he loves his life. He knows he has it made as a kid and would stay that way forever if he could.

And while the meds slow that down, it helps him focus all the gifts of the disorder. He will never like to read, but darn if he can't read instructions on how to build things. He'll never like bugs, but he loves to sail because on a sailboat there is always something to do. Something that results in the boat moving one way or the other.

My hubby frustrates me. Mostly because he was/is ADHD. When he was growing up ritalin was not readily available so his family disciplined him through it. My mother in law gave up her life and sat in class with him until he was in middle school and then some. His father was very active in the scouts, not because he loved the outdoors that much, but he knew he had to be everywhere is son was to ensure his safety. It didn't stop the injuries from impulsive things, he jumped on a moving car the one time they left him alone with the troop (he was 17). But they had no other choices. Their other children felt the lack of attention because of DH's behavior.

So which way is better, that way or meds or both?

Oh, and we agreed to reduce-med breaks in the summer. Thanks everyone.

Miranda

to chjones,

I agree. My son is 8 and is 100% involved with the decision not to medicate for the summer. We are seeing the Chiro and he takes suppliments which he helped us decide on. He's extremely intelligent for his age. He hasn't grown on the stims and hasn't gained weight. He is hoping to get bigger over the summer. He's a happy go lucky, loving, sensitive child. He's funny and creative and if he were unhappy off of the meds I'd put him back on. He's a little loud where he shouldn't be and a little disruptive sometimes but he's happy! He built me the UGLIEST coffee table for my living room but it's origional and imaginative so who cares! I love it! The only reason we decided to medicate for school is because he was struggling and had low self esteem. HE wants to try new things and will go back to meds after school starts if he needs them. Every child, family, and adder, is different and we all have to do what we feel is right for us. We come here for advice and support but in the end we are all different.

you know this "debate" if you will is interesting to me. My daughter doesnt "lose" anything on her meds, but that is just her. She is pretty much unable to do anything unmedicated and is miserable. Although for her it's not about controlling her hyperacticity, it's about being able to stay on task and even DO anything. chjones, I "get" your post, but I also "get" grannyfran's. She is trying to make her point as are you. Obviously as parents we do not know EXACTLY how our kids feel, but if your child constantly melts down unmedicated, seems to me a no brainer, how can that be preferable? If you cannot enjoy summer camp or field trips or outings, how can that be good. My daughter is not hyperactive in the traditional sense, but to tell you truth quite often she gets left out of things because she is always "bored". Doing group acitivites is pretty much out fo the question because she completely loses interest within minutes while the rest of the group doesnt want to rush through. I know FOR A FACT, my daughter would much prefer to be medicated and abel to be part of the group than being bored within a few minutes or so caught up in whats next, whats nex, whats next and can we get an ice cream on the way and can we have a sleepover later.....etc., etc, that she doesnt even enjoy the "moment".

As parents we are trying to make the right choices, obviously none of the optiins are perfect, but that applies for ALL parenting and ALL children. Being part of a family and community is part sacrifice and that feeling of belonging is something I very much want for both my children. Part of belonging to a group is conforming somewhat. How lonely without that/ Peer pressure, being part of the community, working to get along with others and join in are all to me strong character qualities, not bad things.

Believe it or not we INCREASED my daughters meds for the summer...............dont be bashing us now . BUT we do more evening activiites and we are now using a long acting med early and at noon. BOY is she loving be able to stay awake and not being exhausted by the effort to stay on task all day. She gets along with all of us and dosnt have her sister telling her she wants to do something without her becuase she's pooking at her or trying to control every situation. IT does not, however, impact her appetetite.

OK, osrry, I'll shut up now

Diane V39619.2768055556

Each family is different. I stopped meds with my son because he was healthier off than on.

Meds are not out of your system in 24 hours. I found that out from experience. He had side effects from stims for many weeks after we stopped. After about 2-3 months he was much less hyper than the weeks after we stopped.

Was he hyper? You bet! But he was eating, sleeping, and happy, which he really wasn't when he was on the stims.

So if a parents feels the need to stop meds for a period of time, there may be a very valid need to do so.

If the original poster is looking for ideas - your husband does seem to be on the right track. Keep your son busy - keep him outside - get him things do to - try having him build with legos or blocks or army figures - anything he likes. Give him time to play video games (if you need to by new ones to keep his interest its worth it!). Rent movies, etc.

I found it hard, but worth it for us.

good luck.

This thread is not about whether those with ADHD should use or not use medication to treat their ADHD. Its about whether meciation breaks should be considered in the summer. This is not the debate folder so it is not your place to agree or disagree cjones or anyone else for that matter. Also, stating that you don't like someone's post is inflammatory cjones. Members shouldnt have to justify or make excuses for the decisions they make for their children. This message board is a support forum and while people don't have to always agree, finger pointing or judgmental remarks will not be tolerated. If you want to debate go to the debate folder but even then, post respectfully. This thread is closed.Luvmykids0239619.3624305556My son is off meds for the summer and we are having our issues but nothing we can't handle. He needs to grow and I personally am afraid of long term effects of having a child on stims forever. EVERY child and family is different. I agree that your husband is bordering on abuse. It isn't your sons fault. I am sure he would rather behave if he could. If hubby can't handle him then maybe he needs counseling or you have to make the decision to put your son back on the meds for his sake not hubby's. As I said, we are handling things right now but if that should change we will put him back on if that's what's best for him. You can only do your best. One coping thing I do is...when he really has me stressed to the limit I literally close my eyes and imagine him asleep in his bed (aren't they sweet when they are sleeping?) then I imagine him missing or gone and how I would feel if the bed were empty. It takes me awhile to get into that zone sometimes but it sure puts things in perspective when I do.

Miranda234,

To med vacate or not is not the question, the question really is "do we curtail entirely or reduce for the summer?"

I'm not surprised that your child is having these challenges when you've suddenly curtailed meds. If you feel the need to do a med vacation at least reduce his meds gradually so he doesn't go through withdrawls. I would love to eliminate meds for my guy during the summer but the best I can do is only reduce them. A week or two before school starts again I will gradually ramp them back up.

Hope this helps

Paul

Ok, I'm not dissing anyone who does do med breaks. It is a personal decision, just as taking meds ,in the first place, is.

I hear comments from parents about how they can tolerate a bit of antsiness from their adhder sans meds, but nothing about how the child feels.

Adhd is a fulltime disorder. It is not just about academics. Heck, most of our learning takes place outside of school.

And think about the adhd mind.[I'm an adhder] If you had a choice , would you rather sit in a room listening to music or watching tv? Do you like just sitting and enjoying a sunset without having to think about the stress of the day? For an adhder, sans meds is like having the tv and the radio on with everyone in the room talking a mile a minute on various subjects.

A child needs the ability to quiet his mind, learn to focus or allow it to wander, be bored or take an interest all of the time.

Can you imagine how difficult it is going from one extreme to the other? And, as parents we wig out over a meltdown or attitude. .......

from what I have been told by my doctor that med breaks aren't good for the child. not sure how old your child is or what issues they have but I agree with my doctor. it took us a long time to realize our son needed medication to control impulses, attention issues and some hyperness and during that time to that he appeared to developed ODD and now that we have the other issues under control with meds his ODD is almost non-existent now. Our child mature physically and mentally slower than other children and the medication allows them to maintain and even level and learn from their behaviors both good and bad. I still hate the I have to give my child medication but it has truly helped him.
If you are concerned about growth issues or just plain having them on meds - discuss this with your doctor. I hope this helps.
I would never think about taking my dd off meds. Not for her sake, or for mine.

Miranda,

I take my dd off meds for the summer because she is inattentive but not my ds who is hyper and impusive. I would be afraid to take my ds off the meds if I was not around him 24/7 because he might do something to hurt himself or someone else. That said, I am tempted sometimes on weekends or on vacation to see if he still needs it. Some say that when they are older they might outgrow it and the only way to know that is to stop the meds. I have also heard it can take a while for the body to reajust to not having the meds.

Just a thought,

Actually, my son doesn't like to take his meds when he is not in school. He is old enough now where he can speak his mind. (13) I would much prefer him to be on his meds all the time, however, his dad fought me tooth and nail and only would agree to allow him on meds at all was that he only took them when he went to school. It is not a rule I always followed. He never has him on meds if he has him on weekends. Also, he hasn't been on them in the summer months. He likes "being himself" so he says. I am not sure what is best. I think that he is in more control on meds, but also he seems kind of "out of it" as he doesn't have anything to "pay close attention to" like he does at school and therefore he seems a bit spacey. So, just another thought. [QUOTE=Miranda234]

It's the first day since school let out and we didn't medicate 10yr DS. So far he has clogged the bathroom sink and splashed water every where, knocked over things in the hardware store and just driven us crazy.

My DH is driving me crazy yelling at him and trying to wear him out. It's 96 degrees outside and he made DS cut the grass and just told me they were going to ride their bikes to my other son's baseball game (a mile away).

How do you get through days like this? I know the medicine works, but he does need a break every now and then. But I don't know how much more I can take, from DS or DH.

And, it's just the beginning of a long summer. We will put him back on meds when he goes to camp.

M234

[/QUOTE]

Just fyi, allowing your child to be yelled at about something he cannot control about himself is allowing verbal abuse. Please stop it before his self esteem is ruined. Explain to your hubby that making him be held responsible for behavior that is impossible is not only unfair-but insane. Imagine yelling at a blind child for not being able to see. That is what you are essentially allowing.

How do you get through days like this? I know the medicine works, but he does need a break every now and then. But I don't know how much more I can take, from DS or DH.

And, it's just the beginning of a long summer. We will put him back on meds when he goes to camp.

M234

When you take a child off of effective medication, the child goes from feeling in control to feeling totally out of control. The child is in terrible inner turmoil and life doesnt have to be so hard once you have found treatment to effectively manage the symptoms of ADHD. The medication flushes out of the system once it has worn off so why do you feel he needs a break from the meds every now and then if the medication is providing him with qualtiy of life.?

There are some parents that take their children off of meds in the summer so perhaps they will share their tips with you.

Luvmykids0239606.9265509259