Mother in need of help | ADHD Information

Thank you all for the information. DianeV - You have described my son exactly.  Today I am home from work cleaning up urine from his room.  He urinated behind his dresser.  I am so embarrassed, I don't know how to explain this to my boss. He has an appointment with Children's hospital of Philadelphia to see a developmental pediatrician - (don't know what he is going to do, but I was told by  the ADHD clinic  to go). 

Our family doctor is the one who prescribed the Strattera.  I am going today to talk with him at 3p to discuss Adderal or Ritalin (his suggestion).  I want to make sure since he isn't a pedicatrician that he is comfortable with managing this with me and the other CHOP doctors. The ADHD clinic was just a one time visit that last 6 hours of filling out forms and tests - from there once your child is diagnosed, you get referrals for counseling and then the development pedicatrician is next.

I waited so long and suffered so long with this.  I lost friends because my son can not interact with their kids.  I knew at 4 there were problems and refused to take him for help. I feel ashamed because maybe things would be better now.  He is being bullied in school really bad, he pays the other kids when they are mean to him and gives his lunch away just to get some attention from them.  He gave away his UGEO cards (mispelled). I spent  a pack on them cards.  So, hopefully I get some relief with all of this after today. I deal with constant problems at home and school. I also have a daughter who is 15 and they fight all day, she won't take him anywhere. The school calls me 2 times a week because he isn't listening or doing something or moving out of line, or saying wierd things. He mimics movies, cartoon characters. I have to ban certain normal kid shows. However, he loves Xbox 360 and plays quietly with no problem.  Now that blows my mind.  My husband after 6 years finally buckled and said okay lets get him on a stimulants, which is a miracle.  This morning he got fresh with me. He cut his school pants so he wouldn't have to go. I sewed them and sent him to school anyway. He ripped all of his school clothes and he says he don't know how that happened.   After reading more of these posts, I am thrilled to know, I am not the only one. Stupid me, I thought nobody's child was like mine - How wrong I was.  

I am so happy there are other families out there like us. If anybody has any parenting tips please share because everything I am doing isn't working for us. Things like showering, brushing his teeth and the everyday normal stuff that we all do.  

Thank you again!!! I will definetly try the stimulants and do what I have to do to help him. I want my son to have A's and B's some day and do activities too. 

You guys are right!!  I don't over praise him, thats where I am going wrong. I've been reading about the reward system, and I will put that in place. I started taking him bowling as a reward for doing good in school or getting a good grade and it worked the first time, but the second and third, he just sulked and was negative the whole time, and I gave up.  I won't anymore. I need to stop expecting so much of him.  Our conversation about his room is going to be interesting. I am still cleaning it. This is my break!!! lol.

I will pray. I am also going to discuss Concerta today. I noticed a lot of parents talking about Concerta. I will research that before I leave. 

This website is a nice place for parents to come too. Most people I open up to are negative and don't understand..... I will start getting some abstracts from my nursing resources and review some case studies and get involved. I am not at all knowledgable yet on his condition so I appreciate all of the information you all provided. 

I feel so much better now that I have found this site and read all of your posts. Thank you so very much for the support - I really needed it.

Your son will do just fine because he obviously has a mom who cares!  Let us know how the appointment goes.  My son was on concerta (summer med break)and it worked well for us too.  I agree with Wyatt's Mom, he'll be fine-his momma loves him!!   We all NEED this site...Can't wait to hear some wonderful news from you, it's coming soon!!

sacksrn, my daughtre is 13 and she takes Strattera, but we've recently added a low dose stimulant to it. Now she's been on meds since 9 and taken many, many different forms of stimulant in the past. Off meds, she is unable to to complete ANY task. She cannot follow conversations, she is impulsive and is always poking and touching, very "handsy", she interrupts and changes the subject of conversations. She is also very silly and immature. On the right med combo so much of that goes away. We've struggled to keep the couple of friends she has over the years. Now that we've found a decent med combo, she is so much better, we're actually adding more stim over the summer. As she is getting into the teen years her immaturity is causing an even bigger social gap with her peers. So we will give her meds as soon as she gets up (on school days 5:00am) and then another dose at noon to carry her until evening. she is happier, able to be on task, and participate. We've found somethng that is not affecting her appetite or sleep or causing tics.

Using meds is a personal choice, but just know you can ALWAYS stop.

almost 7 year old dd is on concerta, i to was worried and had that :i'm never using meds" attitude, dd is very impulsive and got on her friends nerves and i knew if i waited to long she would end up with no friends, to me these meds are a miracle, she can now focus in school, she went from a C to all A's and B's, and she is no longer in conflic with her peers, I don't feel like i'm waisting my $ on activities anymore since she can now pay attention and do what is asked of her, I don't regret it AT ALL!
   One time i forgot her meds at home when we went to camp, i tough no big deal, it's only 1 day, well she was so frustrated with herself she told me never to forget her meds again, she hates the way she is off meds, she knows she can't control her impulses and hates it.

Our 9 year old DD is also on Concerta.  I was also against meds at first.  But the meds have been a god send.  She has tons of friends and does excelent at school and in sports.  She is a happy go lucky kid, and very affectionate.  It took us almost a year to get her on the right medicine and right dose but it was well worth it.  She hates being without her meds now!

Our breaking point was when she almost got expelled from pre-school and none of her "friends" wanted to come over or have her over to play.  We tried behavior therapy, environmental, and diet changes and nothing worked.  We then said ok we'll try it and it worked.  For the first 2 years we did meds and behavior therapy and it worked great.

My suggestion is to talk to your doctor and express your concerns and find the right course of action.  The right medicine won't suppress who your child is but help him enhance his better points.  GOOD LUCK!!!

My DS has been on meds since he was 6 (he is now 12 1/2).  THey worked well for us and he has done fine socially - he has never had tons of friends but we never felt there was a problem.  He did occassionaly have bullying issues but it was sporadic so we dealt with it.  We moved this year and making friends has been very difficult, even though he is on meds.  His immaturity is showing much more now puberty is here.  He really doesn't feel like he has friends and bullying has been a big issue.  My son sounds like yours - silly ,funny, telling jokes, trying to get others to laugh, etc.  Sometimes this is okay but the problem is that he doesn't know when to stop and then the kids get annoyed.  My point in all of this is that being on meds hasn't helped us socially RECENTLY.  Maybe our dosage isn't right (we are working on this during the summer), maybe it is due to the move (I do think this is a huge factor for us - we moved to a very intolerant, unfriendly small town).  Don't know if this helps but it is one piece to think about.  As you know all kids react to the meds differently.  Good luck!If I had to pay someone to stop them from bullying me I would cut up all of my school clothes too.  Some of his behaviors sound like they may be caused becasue he's hurting rather than all because of the adhd.  Is he in counseling? Are you? You shouldn't be ashamed.  Alot of people are going through similar situations.  You should only feel ashamed if you aren't trying to help him.  If your boss doesn't understand that then the heck with him or her.  They can't fire you for needing time off to care for your son. That's against the law.

As a parent, we always want everything to go right with our children..."Right"?

The first step is to accept that your child has some struggles. Embrace the fact that he wants to make you laugh. Other parents would love to have that issue. Embrace some of his differences and encourage him to keep the ones that allow him to be creative and fun.  He will never be able to sit and be 'perfect'.  I'm accepting this too. But in the process, I'm learning that, on his meds, he still has enough energy for me to admire him for. He still makes me and others laugh with his sporatic and crazy things he says and does. When we give him surprises, it's worth it to see his awesome reactions!!  Our ds is artsy and yet hates school. So we encourage him through art to make good grades...Find what your son does do well and just really boast on those things. Go overboard on your positive reinforcements. Let him know that the people who are being mean to him aren't worth being friends with anyway. Once and if he is put on meds, you'll see a difference but it won't be a cure-all. I goofingly thought it would be. I'm glad to be proven wrong. It's been a learning process for me, too.  My ds is only 6 and we've been through a lot. But it's made me more fun and a little more flexible and not so stuck-in-the-mud. I guess I'm just telling you to find what he does well and LOVE that about your son. And let the rest be improved upon but not dwelled on.  Make home his safe-landing place.  Get yourself truly educated on what's going on in his little mind and share it with him. The more you know the better!!  It helps everyone when you realize it's not a CHOICE, it's his make-up.  So be patient and be loving andyou'll get some relief soon!!  And pray!!

I agree with the others, your son will end up on top, because YOU are there for him. That is so important with our children. They are having such hard times outside our homes that they need all the encouragement and praise from us whenever at home.

The school bullying thing needs to be addressed with the school. It needs to stop TODAY! I know that school is just about over for the year, but if your's isn't, I would give them a call or a visit and let them know what is going on.

My son will be 11 in a few weeks. We have been around the world, to say the least, with ADHD and school, social, etc. We are all in the same boat!

Mine is on concerta, since he was about 7. It took awhile to level off at the right miligram for him, but it works, believe me. He also takes guanfacine for overstimulation and impusiveness. That too works. Don't worry about the milligram level, every person is different, some metabolise faster than others, my son is one of them.

Meds truly SAVED his life!! He plays sports, is an A student, but still has social issues for not sticking up for himself or telling on others. We are working on this believe me!!

He is on 90mgs of concerta and takes 1 mg of guanfacine. The guanfacine really smooths things out for him. Concerta is in the ritalin family. It is gone after your son has metabalized it, some get more hours others don't. Again everyone is different.

Please post any questions about meds. We have all been through those as well!!

And please update us on how both your son and you are doing. We all agree, this place is a life saver for us moms and dads!! Welcome to the boards!!

Hello,

I am in need of help, and I really need some advice from people who understand and have knowledge about ADHD.  My son is 11 years old and was diagnosed a year ago. Although, I always knew something was wrong since he was 4.  He is out of the hyperactivity stage, but is still compulsive, fidgets, and has every symptom listed under the ADHD category.  What I am really sad about right now is that he has no friends, they make fun of him calling him wierd, he has a hard time communicating with them because he is so immature. He acts like he is 8 years old.  He is really silly, funny, always trying to make someone laugh and act out inappropriately to get attention and the other kids just can not relate to him.  We put him on Strattera last June and I just stopped the medication because it doesn't work. It took the edge off maybe 5%, but it didn't do anyting for his compulsive and social problems. 

I am so scared to put him on a stimulant and I feel like I am making a mistake if I do. But, I have no choice - he needs friends and needs to build relationships with people.  So, my biggest question is - Will Ritalin or Adderal or maybe another drug help him with what I described? What can I expect?  I read some of the side effects and am concerned. I am a nurse so i know it will effect everyone differently. But I was hoping someone can shed some light on the positive aspects of putting my son on a stimulant, and how this will change his relationships. 

Any advice or input would be so helpful.  Thank you!!!