Son graduated to highschool - barely | ADHD Information
Just wanted to give you all an update.
My 14 year old did graduate but he has to go to summer school. He had that "wonderful set of grades" D's, F's, and one B-. He brought the F in english up to a B- but he brought the C in Math back to a D. I have observed that he can only work on one class at time; When he failed math we told him he needed to bring it up so we got a tutor and he brought it to a C. THen when he failed English, he brought it up but he went down in Math.
He didn't do any of his bookreports; reason - he said that they didn't give any deadlines so they got away from him.
So, he is seeing his therapist all summer. He wants to see the therapist so this is a breakthrough for me. This may be his beginning to accept he has a "problem"
Now, whether he will take medication, as has been suggested, is anybody's guess.
I have an apt. alone with his Doctor next week to discuss diagonis, prognosis and what his treatment plan will be for next year.
I have figured out that when he is nervous and anxious, he gets exceptionally defiant and nasty. I have learned to ignore the foul mouth and rants because it's just venting. He's really quite delightful and cooperative (as much as any 14 year old) when he's not nervous.
I'll tell you all this - I can't do much more for my son and it's now up to him.
Thanks for letting me vent.
He made it- that's great! And the up side to summer school is that he'll have less time for the typical teen mope around the house and be bored routine.
That's great news about him wanting to see the therapist- I remember reading about your struggles to get him to see one in the first place.
Did he really have no deadlines for book reports? That's unbelievable! I can't function without deadlines as an adult- why would any teacher expect kids to function without clear (ideally multiple) deadlines.
jaderock -the kids were assigned a certain amount of reports due for each quarter. The curriculm at his school is not super tough so if other kids could get them in, It was my son's lack of executive functioning that prevented him from doing them.
OR - and most likely - there were deadlines and my son chose not to make them and just said there were not deadlines. I reminded him all year that he had to do his book reports and he always said to me "I have it under control"
I have another theory.....he used to read all the time but now that books are getting harder and longer, I wonder if his lack of focus is preventing him from finishing them? I'll have to mention that to the Doc.
My son just graduated from high school. He was definitely an underachiever in school, and didn't do well in elementary school. High school was much better for him, because he had more control over what classes he could take. He chose sciences over woodworking or computers, because it was easier to get good grades (due to interest level). I stopped being involved in his school work in grade 7, once I realized it was getting in the way of our relationship, and once I realized he was more than capable.
Your son is going to have to learn the hard way to get assignments in on time, or not do so well. It's time to step back a bit, and allow him to do it.
I also gave my son an hour in his room at night, just to do homework. I felt I didn't want to fight with him, couldn't force him to do it, but could provide the opportunity for him to complete it. It helped over the long term because even this year in gr. 12 he did homework in his room when he had some. I never focused on grades, he never failed anything, he always had a good enough attitude. He was never university material, but will go to college next year.
Video game loss was helpful if I heard his grades were lower. I don't mean complete loss but reduced time on them. He also knew summer school was available if he failed, and knew I would make him go. By that age he knew I never stand back from a battle of importance. Good Luck I know how stressful it is and have spent many a year worrying and stewing, and fighting with him over the importance of getting good grades.
momiss2 - We are definately stepping back this year. That was the goal this year. I did not get involved half as much as in 6th and 7th grade. As a result - he missed some field trips because he didn't bring home the slip and he didn't get a class picture because he gave me the order form too late. He has to go to summer school and he knows why.
Yest. he got a mini lecture on responsibility. In my town, you have to pay for the school bus. Last year, we were given a form, handed to the students, we filled it out, paid and you got a pass.
Last night, I asked him casually if he heard any news about the buses for next year? He gave me that panicked look, said "I don't know but you shouldn't rely on me"
So, I called my gal friend who has a son in the same grade. Forms were given out to the students in all grades and the deadline to return the form is july 21. She is going to make me a copy.
So I told my son that if I had not called my friend, he'd be walking to school. That this was the last straw, he's in highschool now and he has to start being responsible for things and not expecting mommy to clean up his messes.
Next year I'm going back to school and I'll be working full time and going to school at night 3 times a week. Not to mention studying. He knows that I'm not going to be speaking to his guidance councelor weekly and running to the school to deliver the trumpet that he forgot.
It's amazing - a school of 500 kids and my kid is the only one the teachers don't give the papers and notices to.