I am new here so please bear with me.

My child is 6 yrs 10 months (first grade).  We have noticed a lot of symptoms that relate to ADHD but we are not sure.  He will routinely disobey us or ignore us.  Even after politely asking for six - seven times, he will not move. And then  my wife will start shouting and he will get it done.  Simple things like eating dinner, going to bathroom or drinking morning milk or waking up.  We have been trying hard but there is no method that works. He takes 45 to 60 minutes in finishing dinners. In school, he will routinely throw most of the lunch because he can not finish in time.  He is always 'lost' in his own world most of the time (day dreaming).  He can spend hours with legos. He also has short temper and will go ballistic or become argumentative fast.  

He can read very fast. He will finish 150 pages young adult books in 1.5 hour.  He is performing consistently better than average in 3rd grade maths (we do exercises on beestar.org and can measure performance against other kids from 3rd grade). However his timing is slow compared to average. He is almost ready for 4 th grade maths, he wants to do it because he is now bored of 3rd grade).  He can read and understand Tintin comics.  So by usual standards,  he is 'gifted' but he would not bring his homework. Once he missed the homeworkfor seven straight days because he forgot.

I am confused as to whether take him to doctor or try changing our behavior. We are not pushing him at all - we leave it to him to perform.  Most of the maths and reading he picked on his own w/o needing any help.

I mean, we have a dilemma -  we have a bright child but who would not follow even basic instructions. Early years are OK but I fear about later years if we dont handle the situation properly. 

What will be the best way to proceed ?   

acme,

Have you ever contacted the school to do an educational eval on your son?  Or have you considered having a neuropsych do an eval?

 Yes, some of the symptoms of adhd can  look like you described, but so can many other conditions. One that leaps out is the possiblity of asperger's.  Your child's hyerlexia is a strong indication. 

Either way, the fact that he is gifted means that he needs some sort of intervention now before he becomes too bored or his social abilities become too stifled.

You are smart to be askign these questions now and to be making an action plan instead of waiting arounfg to see if he will grow out of it or if it is just a phase.

Follow the suggestion of starting with the school.  That will at least get you going in the right direction.