acting acting and acting | ADHD Information

WOW! You have had a lot more going one - even more than what we knew of!!  I'm so very thankful to hear about your dad.  What a miracle it truly is!! I have a good friend who has breast cancer-I hate that disease as much as I hate ADHD.  I hope (and will pray) that your Mom can wear the pink ribbon that says "I beat breast cancer!"   And really sorry for your loss of your Uncle...that's hard.

 

WEll, I'm gald to hear about Jon.  He sure deserves a break and the normalcy of being a young boy.  This 'thing' or 'stuff' just robs them of so much until meds become accurate (along with diagnoses, huh!!). You know, have you ever thought of putting a little potty in his room?  The bed sheets and stuff can be washed and washed but having to clean carpet and all must be very tiring.  Anyway, just a little suggestion I thought of.  Our ds wets the bed every night and is now starting to hide it...we're researching alarms...

Most importantly, keep taking care of yourself. I was glad to see that you are not going to continue taking the meds that are obviously not right for you. That will get worked out, too.  This forum was made for parents to come to with concerns and questions and praises and fears and whatever else we can come up with!! So you just keep it coming and it's sort of like a free small therapy session!! ha ha

I'm glad you have a good support system within your home.  Can you imagine having a horrible marriage and trying to deal with these issues? That'd be enough to break me!! So, very glad to here you've got something really great like that!

ilovemyboys39626.2930092593

Hey randyjim.  I haven't posted in a while, until today.  I just wanted to let you know that I think of you and your family from time to time.  You've got whootspa, and I hope you realize that you are strong.  Strong in my book means crying, so you can get it out and start again.  It also means doing/saying what others, even peers and loved ones don't like for the sake of your child.  If I could send you on a vacation I would. 

I was told the same thing by the Dx...to understand that meds will have to be changed over and over again.  Its not a good thing but you are so close with Jon that I trust you'll know when something isn't right.  You went through He** no doubt; at the same time you learn alot too. 

Anyway, wishing you an uneventful summer.

I tell you, if you are like me-talking in itself is a therapy. I'm not one of those people that can keep it bottled up and just deal. I have to TALK it out!!   But in all seriousness, continue to do that. I was going to suggest earlier that you take some time for yourself to journal. Do you do that? I feel better after writing in mine...so I thought I'd pass it on.
Randy, I want to tell you that I follow your posts. I don't always comment because I'm fairly new to this!  But the feelings side I can sympathize on.  It's tough...understatement of the year!! However, I do admire you. You ARE strong!!  You haven't ran away, you haven't ignored issues that need to be addressed, you do confront and you do push and you do advocate. You may be TIRED but you are not weak and that is so admirable.
I don't like to step on toes because I'm not much of a confrontational person. but you asked for advice and asked how we feel...so I feel it's okay to suggest this to you. I pray, girl, I pray hard some days so hard that I feel it in my toes!!  But I have found comfort there and I have found refuge...and I have found answers. Not to everything, but for a lot.  It's more than what I started out with at the least. And I can add you to mine. 

Isn't it hard, too, because there's part of their emotional hoopla that is just them at the ages they are in and that they're boys...so where is it that it becomes the adhd and whatever else? I find that hard to define, too.  I guess we just have to set limits based on their everyday and go with it. 

The $$$ of it all, just pay it fifteen dollars at a time!  You know? You can't change your income and it is what it is, so just make the best of it. Make payment plans and offer to pay what you can a month to the ones who will allow it. that's how we do it.  I don't know about everyone else...

More than anything, I'm just here to send words of encouragement!!  Hang in there, it'll all get lined out. But keep your chin up, you're doing an awesome job. 

Thanks, Ilovemyboys. I can use all the prayer I can get. Our mom had her second breast cancer surgery 2 months ago and just got her last tube removed. Our uncle- mom's brother, just died of lymphoma diagnosed in November. My dad was diagnosed with Stage 4 colon cancer. It had blocked his intestines and his lymphnodes (15 of them) all tested positive for cancer. I flew up there to be with him after the surgery. Two weeks later they did the blood tests to determine what type of chemo to start him on after surgery for a femoral aneurism they found. Guess what? Miracle- they couldn't find any trace of the cancer. They repeated the tests last week and still no sign of the cancer. I think miracle are as stressful as the dx of the cancer.

  The meds the doctor put me on are making me so sick. I can't eat and I perspire like a fire hydrant with the covers off. I am dizzy and my blood pressure is sky high which I never had a problem with. I called my doctor and told him I am going off the meds. So he is weaning me off it.

BTW- Jon is still doing great. He has a little girl friend on our circle, she is a twin and my 9 year old is friends with her sister. it seems as though Jon is making friends very easily now. He still peepees all over his room but the therapist is having us have him take responsibility for it- strip the bed, use a carpet cleaner etc. I don't think he can help it. he told me he may start wearing pullups at night if it doesn't  get better.

Seems I vent and vent here. I am blessed with a wonderful family and great children and a really great husband.  With everyone I know we will make it. I am starting to compose letters to my congressment and senators and our governor.

Randy

Navy wife, I noticed that you said you have fibromyalgia, so do I. Have you considered trying Lyrica, I have been taking it for awile now and it does help.

Randy - I am sorry to hear that are a litte crazy for you right now. I hope that you and Jon feel better soon. I am gllad that you are seeing a therapist. They can really help a whole lot. I wish you guys the best of luck.

AHHH- Jon has asked me to buy a lottery ticket many times. He seems to think if I buy one we will win and I don't want to disappoint him

Boy, does Jon have ups and downs. If he were a girl and about 14 I would at least know it was hormones. He does well for a few hours after his med in the morning, his med in the afternoon and when he is asleep. He has gained 10 lbs since he has been home from the hospital!!! He weighs 72 and is 140cm tall. He is a big boy for 8 y/o. His favorite passtime when he gets angry now is to rip all the buttons off his clothes and throw boxing punches like Mohammed Alli did when he was showing off. Then when he is told to go in his room he wants me to hold him. I am not doing that but when he comes out he can come to me to get a hug. He also keeps telling me how much he loves me.

I feel less stressed today. Maybe it's the new meds or maybe it's because I don't have to go to Miami for a few weeks. Thanks for letting me vent.

randyjim someday when I win the lottery I am going to invite you all to a spa retreat where there are plenty of trained nannies to handle the kids and we will all spend our days getting massages and eating strawberries dipped in chocolate!  For now all I can do is send you on-line hugs.  Keep the faith it will get better!  You can handle this! If nothing else sit with your therapst and just throw things and scream! ha ha No, on second thought, that may get you committed. 

hi- most of you know me and my son Jon and what we have been through these last few months. I took him to Miami for his appointment today. I love his doctor there and thanked her for helping Jon become himself again and not the raging unhuman he was with misdiagnosis and mismedication.

She said something to me that knocked me for a loop- she said it is a matter of finding the right medication and that I need to realize that we will probably go through this time and time again as Jon grows.

Guys- I can't act anymore. I don't think I can go through this again. I don't think Jon can go through this again. I think I have the ability to feel what my children feel and Jon was so fragmented and is now so fragile. He was almost destroyed and so was I. I remember knowing he had to be hospitalized and I lost it. I never knew a human could cry that way and it was ME. My husband didn't know what to do to stop me. He finally called my sister who I am very close to and it took her hours to get me to stop. I can't act anymore. I know I have to be a calm reasonable mama for Jon and I am through everything. But what happens if I can't?

I know I am tired from the trip today. The weather was hideous and storming and the interstate was so flooded I was hydroplaning everywhere. I called my husband to report it because he was on duty and there were terrible accidents there after I got through safely. Maybe that sapped me. I wonder if y'all have had these feelings. Everyone thinks I am so strong but I am so weak. I just want to hide. And no doctor around here will take Jon on as a patient. So it's up to me to drive up and down at least once a month. And homeschool (Jon is doing well being homeschooled). And try to take care of the thousands of dollars of medical bills on a tiny state trooper's salary. and everything else. I think I am on a pity party. But- if I were wealthy I would take a limo back and forth to Miami, I would get someone to make meals and clean the house and babysit once a week and do laundry etc.

Sorry everyone.

Sometimes a therapist can help you learn ways to cope better when things get a little overwhelming.  Mine is teaching me breathing techniques (meditation) to help with pain and stress management (I have fibromyalgia).  It really helps when I start to feel overwhelmed (that is if I can find 10 minutes to use it).

Good luck!!

Hey- thanks y'all for letting me get over myself. I went to my doctor today and he is changing antidepressants for me and making me see a therapist. I don't know what a therapist will do. There is nothing I can tell them that I don't tell everyone here.....

Jon has been off the wall this afternoon. He has been using foul language and wants everything NOW!!! Especially food. He is screaming right now for food food food. I am putting them all to bed earlier today.

 

Randy,

  Take a deep breath.  Come here to vent and fall apart.  But, yes, you can do this. You do not need to act  like the world is rosy, nor do you need to wring your hands and weep. [ok, you do, but not in front of Jon. Do it here] You have greater depths than you can imagine.  And, dealing with Jon, you will have to dig deep to those depths to help you out.

   First off, you don't have to go it alone. You are only one person and you can't cure Jon's problems all by yourself. It will take a team.  That means you, dh, Jon and whatever doctors and therapists he may need through the years.

So, to focus on you:  You need to ask yourself if your fears and anxieties are contributing to the problems at home.   When you find the answer, the next step is to get some counciling for yourelf.  A good therapist will listen to you and help you find coping mechanisms. Secondly, you need down time for you.  That means that you have to get out of the house and away from Jon.  Let dh or a trusted family member take over for even an hour.  Go for a walk, get your hair done, visit a friend, whatever; but get out of the house!

There are agencies out there to help you.  Try contacting your state's OMRDD  services ,any family agency or even the school or hospital social worker to help you in your search.  There is respite care available.  Make use of it.  Contact support groups in your area [or start one] Apply for ssi to help with expenses.

  As Jon's mom, you are his lifeline. He needs you.  And, you can only be there for him if you can be there for yourself.  Sending hugs, cabana boys and a strong margarita!

Randy,

Stay strong!!  We all feel that way from time to time.  Heck, I feel like that now.  It gets exhausting being the one that does it all and keep the happy face all the time.  Some times a good cry is just what you need.

Don't fret about something that hasn't happened yet.  Maybe the meds will keep working for him and they won't have to change him again!!

Keep your head up and make some time for you!  I know how hard that is but you deserve it.

Jamie

randy, don't apologize.

You have every right to your feelings. I thnk we all feel what our kids feel and this is why this is all so hard on all of us. What you all went through those months was a LOT and very traumatic to your whole family. You're not heaaed yet. I completely understand that feeling of exhaustion. We didnt go through all that and I feel that way. Just going through those "phases" with these kids is emotionally exhausting. Try to get yourself some breaks. You devote all of you to Jon and your other kids, you needs osme you time. Not once in a while, on an ongoing basis where you are doing something just for you. Whether it's dinner with a friend or family member (alone, no kids!!!) or a yoga class, or meeting a friend for coffee or a drink. Grown up time, no kid talk.