Im new to this, I was diagnosed as a child, but haven't been properly diagnosed as an adult! Althought I'm 100% convinced I still have it..how do I know? Because every day of my life is like wadding through mud just to get simple tasks done... Im rude to most people...have changed jobs/interests/hobbies more times than i care to remember... My head is going 300MPH...concentration..hahahah.. have terrible mood swings and get totally frustrated in a split second. I seldom understand or care about people/cirumstances! and can be very innaproporite (so I am told) I do however have a very supportive wife who at least picked up a book or two on ADHD!
Is anyone else in the same boat as me? about to get tested but worried as hell about the results? I have put it off and not delt with/denied my ADHD for so many years..It brought a tear to my eye reading so many other adults in the same boat!! I felt like sobbing for the last 27 years of hard work and thinking something was wrong with me!
Also I feel very garded about who I tell I have it esp. working in the medical profession, most laugh and say thats a kids thing right? do others have trouble telling people??
Feeling like crap when you make mistakes, misunderstand people, cant concentrate to save you life.. and all the time people assume your an idiot that is lazy!
Sorry about the randomness of the message so much to get out and share!
Any thoughts/advice?
LOL, LOL...l understand!!!!....especially when you said "can't contcentrate for the life of me".....yep, that's me.
I have to make an appointment myself to get diagnosed...and just recently realized that my poor concentration and racing minds are not "normal"....so i'm a bit scared too. I know I have it...I just do, I fit the profile beautifully.
The great thing is that you have a supportive spouse, and that in itself is wonderfully helpful. In reality it's nobody's business but yours. It's your issue it's your terms.
I don't plan to tell anyone, besides my immidate family that is. My personality hasn't changed....with treatment, it'll just get better...the "real" me will be able to come thru....so why tell folks the reason?....they won't care why your getting better, they will just be happy you are!
i completly understand. im only 12 but many an anyed teacher has comented "that girl could be so great if she just shut up stoped proving my gramar wrong and did her work!" so hear me out and ignore my age. when iwas 10 my mum told me she thought i had ADD and i was outraged realy realy angry for thinking i had somthing wrong with me but i looked up ADD/ADHD and found that it sounded exactly like me and that there was nothing wrong with me at all.
but my thoughts were still jumbled and i was still rude so my ED.PHYC put me on fish oils which natrually sorted things out and now my head dosen't go mad and feel like someones chucked a spanner in the cogs of my brain.
as for who to tell i found thatno one really cares and evry one sort of goes really asks a few questions and then we go back to chating about sofias latest crush / ieuans latest computer code thing.
Im new to this, I was diagnosed as a child, but haven't been properly diagnosed as an adult! Althought I'm 100% convinced I still have it..how do I know? Because every day of my life is like wadding through mud just to get simple tasks done... Im rude to most people...have changed jobs/interests/hobbies more times than i care to remember... My head is going 300MPH...concentration..hahahah.. have terrible mood swings and get totally frustrated in a split second. I seldom understand or care about people/cirumstances! and can be very innaproporite (so I am told) I do however have a very supportive wife who at least picked up a book or two on ADHD!
Hi ODP, I totally empathise with ALL this........... changing jobs, interests, friends, relationships, mood swings, frustration, well, don't give up,!!!
I am in the same boat, I have just been to my doctor and gave her a 5 page letter saying how I felt she read it in front of me and was very understanding, she has written a referal to a local ADHD clinic,
I may have to wait a few weeks, but was given zoloft to cope with my depression, so, its hard, knowing I have full blown ADHD, but reading stories here of others like you gives us hope that help is out there and we are not alone ! I attend a support group,how about finding your local one, you don't have to be confident to attend these groups, just a friendly informative place,
since discovering I have ADHD, I have been OBSESSED with researching on the internet, so much that the doctor says I need to think about other things other than adhd, cos its driven me mad!!
Your lucky you have a supported wife, put your energies into seeing the gp's, be strong and the diagnosis will happen, like me, just sadly a waiting game.....................
I told my therapist yesterday that I was not going to tell my family because they wouldn't understand. Her response was "why don't you educate them so they CAN understand?" While in theory, that would be a good idea, if i were to really do that, it would just open a can of worms. They would use that as another weapon to attack me. I have become very protective of my privacy and emotions (sensitivity anyone?). I have told a few close friends but absolutely noone at work. I haven't even been at this great job for a year and I don't want to blow it. I won't tell them unless my performance suffers which hasn't happened. My friends in my 12 step group sympathize but they don't truly understand. Only people who have ADD truly understand. It's interesting that the more I read about other people's experiences, the more I feel connected. After going through the diagnostic criteria with my therapist, I'm feeling better about the whole diagnosis but I still have a zillion questions. Why do ADDers seem to exxaggerate so much? Life is always so large. I thought about telling my sister but I'm really not ready to go there. I want to become more educated myself. I don't really see a need to tell my family except to get answers to things from the past that don't matter anyway because I can't change it.
kjl-- well put!! my sentiments exactly!! I agree pretty much with you too DavidO!
ODP ben... here's my advice, since you ask. Firstly: ask yourself "why do I want to tell (so and so) I have adhd?" If it is because you want to, you think they will find it interesting, you think it might help them understand you, you think....whatever...DON'T!! Only tell people who must know. And, to be sure you are thinking straight and not just acting impulsively in telling them--WAIT! Think about whether this person must know for a week, or two, or three. If after thinking about it good and long and you are still convinced this person needs to know AND has the intelligence to also hear you out and get educated a bit about ADHD, then maybe, just maybe, tell them. But, be prepared for them to: a) not believe you b) think you are making excuses c) think you are looking for sympathy d) think you are just trying to be different e) not be interested in learning about ADHD, and f) think that since you have ADHD you are basically unpredictable and untrustworthy (whereas before you told them, they just thought you were a bit quirky).
Don't tell your wife, and don't tell your boss.
My eX thought I was looney.
My boss fired me.
Hi ODP, Flower,
I can so relate to what you are saying, I seem to fit ADD like a glove, the ADD symptons read like my autobiography.
I know at almost 30, I have to face up to the fact that I have problems with memory, forgetfulness, lost 2 house keys already. Forget everything at work and feel so embarrased that I can't remember names of patients, I too Ben am in the medical /health field, so, its tough. I am scared because I want to talk to my doctor, but I dont feel confident he/she will help, I need to be diagnosed so I can then face up to this for good and accept this disorder .
I have always felt weird/different from everyone, my self-esteem is always low, since I was 12, I was bullied at school, tended to be in my own world at school, quiet, daydreamer and introverted, always with high anxiety.
I always have felt that my brain is wired differently than everyone elses, I am slow to think, slow to make decisions, so bored with things, that I start something, get distracted and find other stuff to do.
I can spend hours and hours on the internet , especially my love, ebay and researching add, anxiety, but come to housework, I am bored senseless,
So, thanks for writing your messages, I feel less alone
Hayley x
God's plan takes into consideration our human frailties. I tell everybody. I could see where telling your boss might be a mistake. Maybe telling everybody is not the best idea for everyone. I am a minister and while it hinders my ability to consistently preach one message after another, I am able at times to feel like the message is more than just a message but it's a part of me. Knowing you have A.D.H.D. can be a real break through in your life. Because you begin to understand why you do the crazy things you do. Here's something you need to understand everyone does those things they just don't do them near as often as we do. When you begin to laugh at yourself (don't take yourself so serious) a ton of pressure is released. I served as the pastor of one church for two years. When I first took the church one lady said, "He's an airhead but we love him anyway." I can live with that. The problem is not a lack of focus as much as it is an overpowering focus on daydreaming. If this focus can be harnessed we can be very creative people. You have to learn about you and as you adapt you will find out who you are. Here's some things I've learned.
Comedians get their best material from stupid things people do. Guess whose stupid mistakes they know best.
I am 53, I have a reputation for not being able to drive. Actually focus is the problem. So I laugh at myself. Your self esteem or your reputation does not hinge on things like this.
I can remember a lot of things that happened in my childhood that my brothers cannot. Which makes me able to hold their attention at family gatherings.
I love a good story. A movie any thing whith drama. I'm very right brained for a man. I can also tell a good story if I have the confidence at the time.
I can't stand to have anyone watch me work. If I don't have anybody watching me and I don't feel a need to have someones approval and I can take all the time I need I can do an excellent job at some things.
1. My focus a lot of times has to do with nervous energy. When that is low I can't concentrate and stay on task. I take breaks and I love naps.
2. I have found that walking is the most head clearing thing I can do, not jogging, walking. Our brains work like the rest of our body by metabolism. Most of the time I have to walk at least a mile, by two miles I'm enjoying it and picking up the pace. Three miles brings on kind of high which helps me organize my thoughts and my ability to put things in perspective is amazing (at least to me). I don't have to walk any certain speed because as my head clears I automatically pick up the speed. Here is where at least in my case, my weakness produces a great strength. I'm getting in great shape even though that is just a by-product not the goal. I live in a beautiful neighborhood so it is a pleasure to walk. Walking a track does not always produce the effect I'm after. I try to walk early in the day or late in the evening
3. I tried adderall it worked great for short periods of time but I found that I needed to take more all the time. So I nixed that Idea.
4. When I study I've found drinking strong coffee keeps me focused. Also I write alot. Sometimes I just write what I like from the book I'm reading. A hint here is to hold the pen loosely so your hand doesn't cramp. I can type but it does not have the same effect.
5. I am a mechanic albeit a very slow one. If I had to work by the hour I would be fired. With troubleshooting I usually end up figuring out the problem when I've taken a break. As I get my mind off it the answers seemingly dawns on me. One of the hardest things for me to do is to take a break, I can't seem to let go. But the more I struggle for answers the deeper they seem to sink into my subconcious.
6. Remember this. There is no pure comparison between two people. God made you an individual. Comparing yourself with what is "normal" is bottomless pit. On the other hand comparing yourself to what you have the God given Potential to become that is freeing and adventurous.
Doc Holiday to Wyatt Earp; "What do you want Wyatt?
Wyatt; "I just want to live a normal life."
Doc Holiday; "There is no normal Wyatt there's just life." Tombstone
That is so true. As you,begin to find out what makes you tick you will find out there is where God's power lies in your life.
Some things I fight. One is I don't want to be looking an hour for a tool to do a ten minute job. I am now mounting my tools on the wall and spray painting them so the outline on the wall will tell me what goes where.
Some things I go with. When I clean I usually end up going from one job to another in a random fashion daydreaming the whole time. I still get it done just in a crazy way.
I have to remember that nobody remembers my blunders for very long. If they do they need to get a life. But mistakes are made ,and I make more than my share. They are embarrasing, but it is the timid soul who will not risk failure because there is no progress without failure.
Perfectionism is only an illusion.
One of my favorite sayings is, Sometimes you say,"Well" Sometimes you say,"Oh Well."
From Loreno's Oil. "The challenge of life is in the struggle, victory or defeat is in the hands of the Gods, so celebrate the struggle.
Babe Ruth; "Never let the fear of striking out keep you from swinging
I have found that the study of words opens to me an understanding of what I'm feeling. Not complex words just new words or words used in a different way.
The word overwhelmed describes how I feel much of the time. That's when it's time to let go reassess and just concentrate on small steps.
One of the things I learned about myself is I like to write poetry. Now that's not something a guy wants to brag about but that's part of who I am.
Remember, God is still on the throne
Remember, No matter what, "never, never, never, never, neverr never, quit.
Failure is just the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.
And as one of my bosses use to say, Hang in there and be tough!
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