Advice needed! | ADHD Information

Okay my 10 year old dd has ADHHHHHD. She is pretty well controlled
with meds but not 100%. She does well in school for the most part but
does struggle socially. One of the things she does that drives me nuts
and other kids her age is that she talks in this overly animated, baby
voice. She even sort of announces things in a group in this voice. It is
definitely her hyperactivity/impulsivity showing through. It is worse any
time her meds start to wear off and I know she can't help it, but man, it
is annoying to us and to her peers. SHe doesn't do it nearly as much
when her meds are working at their best. I have talked to her about it
but she doesn't seem to be able to stop it at times. I thought it was
becoming a habit and that she was not aware of when she was doing it,
but she says she knows she is doing it but just can't stop. Any advice on
how to help her stop talking like this?? It is very age inappropriate and
really effects her socially in a negative way. You can see kids roll their
eyes when she does it. I can't figure out how to use positive
reinforcement because she doesn't do it all the time and I can't reward
her every time she talks in a normal voice so I end up just asking her to
stop or pointing it out to her but that isn't really working. BTW I don't
correct it or point it out in front of her peers as I don't want to draw
attention to it. Meds help when they are working well but it is one of
those behaviors she has not been able to get much control over on her
own.

I'd love any advice or help on this one!JO, I've found with my daughter to do just keep what you're doing. I know that's not what you wanted to hear, but my daughter would do these kinds of behaviors mostly because (I think) she just really didn't know how to act and was trying to be funny. Of course everyone would groan and roll their eyes, but what can you do...................for long after everyone outgrew it my dd still talked "potty talk" thinking it was funny........I mean for YEARS after her peers outgrew this. It didnt help having a sister 7 years younger who thought this was all HYSTERICAL. BUT now she is 13 and her sister is 6 (and still thnks its hysterical) and she has finally outgrown it (we HOPE ). Is she in any kind of social skills group?

Since getting her to STOP speaking this way hasn't seemed to work, can you think of a substitute way of talking that isn't (or is less) annoying that she might adopt? 

 For me, stopping something that comes naturally is pretty difficult, even when I want to stop--especially once it gets "ingrained" in me.  Substituting instead of stopping still takes a lot of effort.  What's different about substituting is it allows me to "keep going" rather than "stopping cold".  The trick is making the alternative--the "substitute"--appealing and interesting, which improves the odds that I'll try it out.  For example, when expressing my point of view, my impulse is to use statements.  To soften how I come across, I try to remember to pose a question, or make an observation which expresses my opinion in a less emphatic way.  I don't stop myself from expressing how I feel, I do it differently and hopefully in a way that's less likely to put off people.   

Hi- perhaps your daughter does this to get attention- even if it is negative attention. Maybe her doctor can help but if it is more habit you may need some behavioral therapy for her to modify the behavior.

One thought- can you tape record her without her really knowing it? Then you could play it back to her in private and she could hear how it sounds. Or, get her voice lessons or enroll her in a children's choir. Jost some thoughts I thought I would pass on.

Randy

Is it possible that her meds need to be upped?  I noticed that you said on her meds she is still hyperactive and inattentive, it may be that she's not on the correct dose.

As far as the voice thing goes I can't help you there.  My 9 yo DD still sucks her fingers (which is really not age appropriate).  We just have to remind her by saying "fingers" and she stops.  She's tried everything to stop but everytime she gets nervous or tired they go right back in.  Maybe work with her on a trigger word so that when she starts talking like that you can say a word to remind her, that way you are not reprimading her in front of her peers but she knows what you're talking about.

Hang in there!!