Responding to Anti-ADHD People

Ok, I am new to the ADHD world as my son was diagnosed with ADHD (innattentiveness/anxiety) and OCD back in May. Being a classroom teacher, I have had my fair share of experiences with ADHD children. I will be the first to admit that I, myself, used to be a member of the world of believers who thought that ADHD was simply a lack of discipline.

Fortunately, the good Lord opened my eyes to the realism of ADHD after I became an educator. My belief is that He was preparing me for the day my ds was diagnosed. I have watched the struggles in the classroom setting of many students with ADHD. I can tell when meds need to be adjusted, and there is a world of difference in the student once the dosage is corrected. Their attentiveness and concentration levels are much better as well as their grades and self-confidence.

Anyways, the point I am trying to get to here is how do we, as parents of ADHD children, battle those ignorant human beings who believe that our children just need some "good old fashioned discipline"? This very issue came up today at an inservice I was attending on classroom management. We were working in small group settings. The teachers I was working with got on the topic of ADHD and made comments about it simply being a lack of discipline. Of course, they also stated how ADHD was not diagnosed when they were kids and that they just got their bottoms spanked and life went on.

I found myself lip-locked and stunned at their statements. Obviously, none of these teachers knew my ds has ADHD. I feel like I failed my ds by not defending him. Even so, this is the first time I have been faced with these comments since ADHD has personally effected the lives of our family.

Have any of you experienced such comments? If so, how did you respond to the situation?

Hi,

I have so much to say and it's late and I am tired. So, I'll get back to you tomorrow. I will only say "what a world we live in when eveyone thinks they are an expert in eveything." We can thank the media for that.

Oh you will face ignorant people like these your whole life. My usual response is this...How about I send her to your house for a week with no medicine and let's see how you feel about ADHD then?

I have a friend who's husband LOVES to get me going on this subject. I would love to say that it gets easier with time but it doesn't. People are ignorant and they only believe what they have lived or seen on TV.

Remember, you are your sons only advocate but don't feel that you have to defend yourself and your family to people like that. If you feel comfortable then I would let them know that your son has ADHD and explain how you came about the diagnosis and what progress you have made sense then. Some people just need their eyes opened to reality. The fact that ADHD wasn't diagnosed back then is completely false it just wasn't as advertised as much as it is today.

You will always run into people that don't believe in ADHD. Just let it slide off when you can. As long as it isn't affecting you or your son I wouldn't even let these people bother you.

It's easier said than done. I still feel compelled to defend ADHD whenever I hear a small-minded comment but I'm working on ignoring ignorance.

My question is how can a teacher possibly not believe in ADHD? All of my daughter's teachers have been very educated about it and have learned better classroom techniques to keep their attention. I had one teacher tell me that learning how to keep an ADHD child's attention in the classroom actually made her a better teacher because she could now keep ALL kids attention using the same techniques.

You will wear yourself down trying to convince the world of anything! However, in the setting you describe, I would try. Teachers should get it, or try to get it. Unfortunately teachers are people too and there are ignorant ones too. Like everything some teachers are there just for the paycheck and you probably won't get through to them either. MOST teachers will do what they can to help all children, but not all by any stretch.......................

What makes it worse is when you have"famous" people who make such stupid comments. I was livid the other day when I heard Michael Savage's comments regarding autism (he said "In 99 percent of the cases, it's a brat who hasn't been told to cut the act out. ... They don't have a father around to tell them, 'Don't act like a moron. ... Act like a man. Don't sit there crying and screaming, idiot.' ")

(My son has ADHD and PPD-NOS.)

So my son apparently has not one but two non-existant problems and if I would just tell him to not be a sissy and make sure I spank him a lot and shame him, I can "solve" his problems.

As to how I handle comments-- So far I've just calmly responded that they are neurological disorders and brain scans show these kids brains fucntion differently than "normal" people. If they persist I've just said that I am, based on the immense research I've done, doing what is best for my son. If they still persist, I kick them in the teeth. Okay, not really :) Just walk away. We are advocates for our children, but we can't change people's minds all the time. Sometimes we can just take comfort in knowing WE know beter and are doing the best for our children. I've been lucky so far in that my son's teacher is very good and very supportive. I really don't know what I'll do if in the future he gets a teacher who doesn't believe in ADHD.

You know, my dad was one of those people at first. He is a very loving grandfather, but his "generation" just didn't understand ADHD and thought it was all behavioral. Even when he would see it firsthand and "try to control it" with his own words and discipline, he still thought my son was just "acting out."

It wasn't until my dad saw my son on medication that he really started believing it was real. The medication didn't change my son's personality at all (unlike all the media reports), but it did slow his brain down so that he could make better decisions. He now believes ADHD is a real condition.

I still have to remind my dad that when he has my son over that it takes 30 minutes for the meds (Vyvanse) to take effect in the morning. This way, my dad doesn't get, well, angry for the behavior my son has in the morning (even though we still work on his pre-meds behavior daily).
brooknbrad,

I would have done the same thing that you did. I'm not quick on the draw so I would need time to plan a strategy. Your situation is different in that it is on a professional level. I might be ignorant but it seems that the teachers at your school are as a whole less educated about ADHD than other teachers. I would provide them with professional literature written by educators for teachers. There must be something online. I've read teacher posts referring to a site called "Great Schools" but I have no personal experience with it.

As a parent, I gently disagree with parents who blame ADHD on parenting. It is really funny to me that my dd has ADHD without the H but no one is aware of the diagnosis. Dd takes meds and is very private about her diagnosis. She appears normal to other parents so they feel very comfortable crabbing to me about kids that have ADHD. Not all parents are like this. It is usually the parent with near-perfect children that are the most understanding. I will agree with them that it is possible for a rare child to be misdiagnosed with AHDH but make it clear that I believe that the vast majority truelly have this medical condition. If they knew that my dd has ADD, they probably would discount my opinion as biased.

Another thing that I do is model how to handle a child with ADHD. My dd has the hyperactivity in our home environment so it is not unfamiliar to me. I had to help with my dd's soccer group this spring because there were so many kids with Autism and ADHD that the coaches were overwhelmed. It was after dinner and naturally the kid's meds were wearing off so behavior WAS a huge issue. I was able to steer the coaches toward fewer "waiting" lines to more active drills to minimize the acting-out. I like to think that I got them off their parent/kid-bashing and onto more compassion and practical solutions, but who knows...

Just a thought for parents. Consider a short-acting stimulant for evening sports if you notice that your child is not able to function properly. My oldest dd missed out on team sports as a result of her ADHD. She is now on Strattera and a low dose of Daytrana. She can handle the attention needed for team sports now but now at age 12 her skills are so pathetically behind that she gets discouraged.
mamark39656.2487037037

brooknbrad: It is sad that others brush off the diagnosis of ADHD with a simplistic assertion that difficulties experienced in school, etc., are due to lack of discipline.

When it comes to ADHD, over the past 10 years, my DS has had some very understanding and supportive teachers as well as some who were not. It has been interesting, to say the least.

Any more, I do my best to politely listen to naysayers then move on, go about my business, having learned to be confident in our decisions to seek help for DS in order to help HIM make lifestyle adjustments and, if you will, to take ownership of his ADHD.

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