I have been divorced from my sons father most of my sons life. He has now moved in with a woman he has been with for over a year. Well my son came home and told me how she spanked him 'cause he was all riled up. He doesnt take meds in summer time. So of course he is going to be in full swing. We all know spanking an ADHD child gets no where. For they can not control their excitability. She is a teacher so she should know you must direct disipline in a different way. It has taken every thing in me not to call over ther and go off. I am trying to handle this as the better person, but at the risk of my son I may just snap. I just any in put will be greatly appreciated
Catrina,
The best advise that I can give you is to first have a sit down with the father. I think some ground rules need to be gone over. I also think that she needs to learn how to appropriately discipline an ADHD child. I think I would just snap too if someone spanked my daughter under circumstances like that. We have spanked our daughter in the past but not for ADHD related things, just general bad behavior on her part. The best thing for your son is consistent discipline and rules where ever he is and this may need to be explained to her.
You may want your ex to be the one to talk to her because coming from you it may be taken differently. However, it does need to be done and if he won't then you will have to do it.
Good luck to you!!
Thank you Navywife30, I do agree we need to have a sit down, but any time there is an issue it usually turns ugly. I have sent him a link to this page so that they may read and get other insite as I have. BTW I was happy to read your dd enjoyed the pool. Little acomplishments like that are big to us. Thank You againOn a funny note when his dad brought him home he told asked me to get on to my son for being a smart mouth
Conversation:
"Son what part of be quiet do you not understand?"
Son..."none of it"
which tecnically he is telling the truth....
Step Parent, Father's Girlfriend, whomever she is, she has no right to spank your child. She has a right to make rules since it is her home too but enforcing them is your ex's job. I would make that clear from the start. I would snap too. Thank you Wyatts mom. My boyfriend and I of 8yrs agree 100%. He has never but once spanked my son in those 8yrs. He has 4 children also. We agree that it is not the step parents place to spank. It is an issue that should be handled by the parent. When he comes this Fri. to get our son we (my boy friend and I ) are going to TRY and have a calm talk with my X. I sent him a link to this page in hopes he will read and get more insite on handling an ADHD child as we have. Thank you every one who has responded.I have even seen judges tell step parents that it is NOT their place. They are NOT the parent. It is between the bio mom and bio dad ONLY.
Also, even though the step parent may be a teacher, teachers aren't so great at dealing with ADHD'ers, some can be, others can be cruel. She seems to be the later.
I would also re-think your son NOT going with him this weekend, after what happened last time UNTIL you KNOW that she will NEVER touch him again. I would also contact the police and find out the laws.
Your husband also doesn't seem to "get it" 
Your son wasn't being smart with him, he just answered his sarcastic question innocently. Your son was telling him the truth!
REthink your son going with him this weekend, I would be worried the whole time until he returned him!
That is one of the wonderful things about our children, their quick wit.
You might write down the rules and give them to the X. If they, the X and girlfriend, have a problem with the rules and punishments, then have a sit down with everyone to discuss the problem.
Teachers are good and bad at discipline. The girlfriend might be a middle school/ high school teacher: a whole different ball of wax. She may not have any experience with younger children.
|
Enter Your Email below to claim your Free Book |
Copyright© 2006 ADHDNews.com. All rights reserved