I completely agree with Diane. Getting the meds worked out will help solve a lot of the problems. If the ADHD is not COMPLETELY under control then you will see a lot of acting out.
Our DD had been on a lower dose for summer at the beginning of summer but she started acting out big time. She wouldn't do anything she was told, talking back, ignoring us...the list goes on and on. It didn't matter what we did she would not listen. She was also crying constantly!! If things didn't go her way or if you talked to her in the wrong tone of voice here came the tears. We took her back to the dr and she upped her dose back to normal and things started turning around.
It's still not perfect, I mean what kid is, but it's better.
The key with rewards systems is to stick with them even if they don't seem to be working anymore. The reason he does so well with the school ones is because they are consistent. If you stick with it then you will see results. It will take some time though. You also have to keep the consequenses consistently too. That's the part that's hard to stick to for us. But our DD has finally learned that if you are late coming home then you are grounded from your DS for 48 hours.
PRAISE, PRAISE, PRAISE. Even the smallest thing needs to be recognized like the grandest achievement at first. Slowly back off after awhile but make sure to always praise him.
That's it for my 2 cents. Good luck and welcome!!!
it's not about what the actual reward IS, it's about constant praise when doing the right thing. So work on one behavior at a time. Remeber it alwyas takes ADHD kids LONGER ( alot IMO) than typical kids to overcome these things. My 6 year old learns stuff SO much faster than my 13 year old. Everything needs to be brief, short and to the point and one thing a t atime. VERY slow and steady.
I wasnt implying you were treating him differently on the room thing, I am just saying that may not work with an ADHD kid to turn behavior around. We only use the room for a cool down situation.
If he does a chore without all the drama you need to praise him profusely. As if he just spontaneously cleaned your whole house unprompted. Let him know how proud you are that he did it without grief, you knew he could do it. Just keep plugging away. He won't even bother to look at written down rules. These kids new immediate, quick response and LOTS of reminders. Remind him frequently thoughout the day what behavior you guys are working on. Getting his meds worked out will help him be able to accomplish these things.
Diane V39657.0856944444HiFocalin is a stimulant, I'm just wondering why he would take that going to bed?
A couple of things. This controlling behavior is quite common. My daughters psychiatrist explained it that everything for her feels so out of control all the time, she gets this way to feel some control in her life....makes sense...when we have her meds working right she tends ot not be this way and is much more cooperative. So you may want to revisit the meds. There are a lot of options out there.
Sending him to his room probably isnt going to help. We only do that if a tantrum or inappopriate behavior is happening (like hitting). Then they (BOTH my kids not just the one with ADHD) go to their room until they can behave appopriately around others, like by staying calm and using their words.
A consequence/reward system will work better (see Ograms marble system on the first page of this forum).ALWAYS start with as many rewards as possible, then raise the bar. You can use this for the food hoarding too. If he mkaes a bowl of cereal and eats it at the table rather thn sneak a pan of browines he gets rewarded...........................
Thanks for you response.