My ex-husband has legal custody of our children. There was no custody hearing or anything during our divorce because I didn't have the money for a lawyer and honestly believed he would get tired of them and give them back, considering he had little or no interaction with them the whole time we were married. I have had them for the past year and on and off, whenever he was having problems (which was a lot) since we have been divorced.
He took them the week of the 4th of July, for what was supposed to be that week only. He called me the day after he got them and told me that he wanted to keep them the rest of the summer but he was definitely going to give them back before school. I was a little nervous, but didn't really have much of a choice. A couple of weeks later, he texted me and informed me that he was keeping them and needed their birth certificates, medicaid cards, etc...
My youngest son, who is 7, has ADHD and behavioral problems for which cognitive behavioral counseling has been recommended. He hasn't started, because it was right before they left for their dad's that I got the referral. He also has OT because things like buttons and tying his shoes were/are very difficult for him. Since he has been with his father, he has been taken off his meds, he is getting no counseling and no OT. I am planning on taking the father to court to try and get custody, and wonder if anyone knows if my son not being on his meds and not getting OT/counseling is considered neglect. There are other factors that play into my decision to try and get custody, but I won't bring them up as they are not related to ADHD.
Hello lilcntrygrl. Your husband is negligent in that he is not getting any help for your son period. As far as the interventions recommended, it is not unlawful not to give medication as that is a choice the parent makes for the child but it is negligent knowing the child is struggling and suffering not to do anything. Lawyers and court fees can be extremely expensive but might I suggest that you seek out the advice of a legal aide lawyer and take it from there. Good luck and please keep us posted.Thank you very much. I knew the medication thing was borderline but I thought the other stuff was negligent. I am seeking legal counsel this time, my mother is helping me out with the legal fees. I tried the legal aide route before when he was working 3rd shift and supposedly watching them during the day and woke up to find them playing in the STREET. They can only take so many cases per month and they decided mine wasn't one of them. I feel I have a pretty strong case, but I'm on pins and needles and want to get it over with! Oh my!! You may be able to find some one Pro Bono as well. There are some lawyers that take cases like this because the child is being neglected. And that is definitely neglect. Playing in the streeet and not getting him to therapy as the dr ordered? Sounds like you have a great case. Make sure that you have proof of the dr's orders and such. They are not just going to take your word for it. Good luck!! Our thoughts and prayers will be with you!!Yes, our thoughts and prayers are with you liltcntrygrl. BTW navywife30, great advice
Unfortunately, the playing in the street incident was so long ago I don't know that it would do any good to bring it up. That was when I went to legal aide and then got a letter a few weeks later saying that they couldn't take my case. I'm still banking on the current issues of no interventions for his ADHD. He says he took him off the meds because he wasn't eating and he was getting the zombie effect. It was a fairly new dosage and I hadn't had time to decide if I needed to reduce it or not before they left. If that was the case, then he could have either called me or his doctor, or simply reduced the dosage. My biggest problem with him not being on meds is when he comes back to me we are going to spend the biggest part of the first of the school year trying to find the right dosage/med and he's going to miss out on even more instruction. We went through this the last several months of the school year last year and I wanted to use the summer to find the right dosage so when he went back to school he could learn instead of cause trouble!
Well, I'm imagining that this could be easily rectified, unless your son only has mild ADHD.
I don't know if this helps at all. I work in foster care and I just had a similar conversation with a caseworker regarding a child in care, last week. She works for Children and Youth Services and had stated that if a service is deemed medically necessary (as it must be if it is to be covered by insurance), and a parent fails to provide that service, the child can be removed from their care as it is considered medical neglect. The case we were discussing involved a child with autism, not receiving needed services. So I would imagine that that would extend to children with ADHD as well. I don't know if that differs in different areas or not. Good luck and I hope you're able to win your case and have your children home permenantly. Thank you so much jsmith. That was very useful information. I have an appointment in a couple of hours with a lawyer and am going to see what she says. Wish me luck! According to the lawyer it's not enough to get a hearing to grant temp custody. I'm still pursuing this, but it could take as much as a year. Going to call DSS and ask them if it is considered neglect.
Litcntrygrl,
Have you thought of asking his doctor for help? Maybe the doctor can help you with the medical neglect aspect, i.e. reporting him to the authorities or they may know of a lawyer that might be willing to help you. It is worth asking the question.
I don't see how it would be neglect ... if it was, the schools could force parents to medicate, provide counseling, etc. Treatment for ADHD is personal choice. Sounds like a boondoggle pursuit to me.
I don't see why your son would have to change schools. I'm betting your ex would cry uncle in less than two months if the school honed in on him. Seriously, it's like torture.
My son has to change schools because his father lives an hour away from me in a totally different county and school district. As far as the schools forcing meds, counseling etc... In this case this ALL has been recommended by his physician, and if the doc says he needs it and he's not getting it... that seems like neglect to me. I'm not sure I explained myself fully to the lawyer. I'm going to call the behavioral specialist and explain the situation to her and see what she says.|
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