Can you give me any advice on helping my adhd 9-yr old son when my husband will not cooperate with me on discipline? He's a loving father who works hard for his family- but my son is adhd/odd and the two of them collide daily. My husband agrees with everything the therapist suggests, but when confronted never follows through with the 'plan'.
I am at my wit's end. My son has made such good progress with his meds and I know that if I could just keep some consistent discipline going, we could see some real benefit.
My friends and my therapist tell me to keep doing what I'm doing and of course I do, but its getting harder and harder on me and I'm afraid I will burst someday and then I'll be no good for anybody!
Please help!!
My husband and daughter also butt-heads on a regular basis. It drives me nuts and I get frustrated. They need to figure out how to get along without me intervening. I think I need to go on a really long vacation and maybe then they could figure it out...
My husband and I had to sit down and work out a plan together. It was the only way that it worked. Our DD was at a friends house while we did it so that she could not interrupt. We then sat her down and it explained all of it to her. It may help if you write it down.
The big thing is to never confront eachother in front of her. That makes her think she can play the 2 of you against eachother. You need to stand strong in front of her as a united force.
My husband and I actually HAD to do this because it was causing such big problems between eachother and our DD. She would not listen to me because she knew that her dad would give in. The breaking point was when I was gone on a trip for work for a few days and he had to do it all himself. He learned that when he gave in all the time she wouldn't listen when he really wanted her to do something.
They still bump heads because they are too much alike but for the most part it works.
My husband and I plan time alone together sometimes. We go out to dinner and all we talk about is the kids. Dh is not perfect on follow-through and I am not perfect on follow-through with his agenda for the kids. Usually we can agree on the most critical issues after we have these meetings. I think it is OK that Dad is stricter on some things (like scraping their plates into the trash) and I am more strict about other things (like bedtime.) It would be tough if we never agreed on anything. One thing I've learned about men is that you can't hint around, you just have to lay your feelings out very specifically.Horsemom---Do you want to go on that long vacation without them? I often threaten to run away from home.
I think this is a major problem for all of us. I often think my husband needs some 24/7 time with our son to fully understand the behaviour. He doesn't butt heads, I do because my son and I are both ADHD. This is the calmest, most laid back person I have ever met, how we hooked up is still a mystery to me. I think my husband gives in because he is tired and doesn't see it as a big deal. But, it is a big deal to me and it causes me lots of stress.
[QUOTE=reruho]
Horsemom---Do you want to go on that long vacation without them? I often threaten to run away from home.
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horsemom and reruho.......................count me in!!! 
In it, she talks about how women are constantly on the go and constantly giving. To replenish the soul, a women needs to take time for her self and recommends spending time alone everyday and also for more extended periods of time.
This is something that my therapist is really pushing me to do as well, so I did schedule a mini vacation with another friend of mine. Three nights with no kids or husband will be great - but probably not long enough.
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