Please help me. | ADHD Information

Hello and welcome to the forum. You will get lots of great information and support here.

The first thing to do is notify you g/son's pediatrician and get him an appointment. If nothing specific is found he may be referred to a specialist.

Has anything changed at home? You state this happened at the end of the school year. What has he been doing over the summer? Camp? Home? Who is watching him? Please keep us informed.

Randy

Hi, I'm a newbie here.  My G/son age 9 has ADHD. Currently he takes Concerta with a bedtime dose of Clodine. At the end of the school year he started pooping his pants in school.  Not every day but enough. Tonight he pee'd himself.  He says he can't feel when he has to go.

Suggestions? Advice? Any info. Please...

he may have something medically wrong with him. and yes his meds could be part of it, but not sure.

Call his doctor ASAP, especially if his mom hasn't. Poor kid, the kids at school will have a field day with this once they find out. Let's try to prevent that. he already has a hard enough life.

You are awesome to be doing what you are doing for your grandchildren. Look at you on these boards and all! The children are lucky to have you.

Please post an update on how he is doing, we care!!

Thank you both. This has helped. I will call his Dr. today if Mom hasn't done it. I try to help the kids. But I can only do so much without guardianship.

I do have more questions. 

What is the proper way to discipline a child with ADHD?  I give him & his sister timeouts according to their ages. When he hits his sister, I double his time. When he gets in a rage he will draw back on me. I tell him to think about this as he will have major consequences... He has never hit me but...How do you stop it?

 

I am  desperate for help,

Hlynn, hi and welcome!

First, you ae a wonderful person helping your grandchildren, sounds like they need you .

I never found time outs to work for my children. At least not the traditional time out as a consequence. These kids need specific rules and consequences, like you hit you lose your gameboy for half a day or something. For tantrums (rages) I have alwasy snet my kids to their room. Not a time out per se, but a cool down place. No matter what is going on they are to go be alone until calm. No talking, discussion, debating. Then once they calm down, ALWAYS stop what you're doing and discuss with them what they did and how to better handle it next time. Then when they do handle situations apporpiately reward, reward, reward. Rewards can be anything from a material thing, to extra dessert, to effusive praise. Make your own decisons based on the behavior at hand.Read Ograms marble system, it's a great discipline tool. Even if you don't think you can manage it exactly some form of that will help. It'll be difficult without having full custody, but hopefully your daughter can follow through when he is with her too.

Hey everyone, I'm new here too.
My son just turned 7 two weeks ago he has been on meds since he was 4 (he got kicked out of pre-k) I have been dealing with severe rages for a while and understand how frustrating they can be for everyone involved, Unfortunately I haven't found much that works but when I can get him to do them deep breathing exercises. I have also found that after 1.5 to 2 hours of playing with each other (he has an 8 yr old sister and  a 4 yr old brother)if I make them take a 15-20 minute break from each other it seems to keep the confrontations to a minimum and helps him control his anger and rages more. I hope you all can get some stability it will make a big difference

Thanks agin ladies. All great idea.

Hlynn

Try the brownies, see if it helps your son. Everyone finds what works for them, not all do the same things. Try, try, try!!

We do NOT have blood tests. He gets his weight checked every now and then, but we do NOT have a loss of weight issue anymore. We did the first year or two, but he did gain a little, so he wasn't emanciated. Now it is quite the opposite, eats and grows. We keep an eye on his calorie intake and keep him busy with sports during school year.

We do NOT use therapy, we haven't had to once we found the right med and dosage. He is an A student, only worries are social. HOping it changes going to middle school with more boys to chose from. Only 12 boys in entire grade!!

My son used to fall asleep late and wake up tired. Again that all stopped after his body adjusted to the right meds and dosage. Give it some time. I have NEVER used a med to help him with sleep. I let him stay up, and eat so he ate, then he fell asleep and would be tired the next day so it helped him sleep. And again, he is also on guanfacine/tenex which relaxes them.

My son would get 8 - 11pm to 7 or 8am. there were times we were waking him up to get him to school.

Keep asking questions, all good ones!! You are educating yourself!!

My son was on concerta and was doing well until this past Spring when he started having accidents.  He did not notice when he had to poop or pee.  It turned out to be encopresis.  He was so constipated that the bowel was not working anymore and not giving him the signal he had to go.  Also the poop was pushing on his bladder much like a pregnant woman with a baby and he was peeing himself.  We took him off of the meds and are seeing a chiropractor.  We gave him an enima to clean him out and are giving him fiber suppliments.  This is working.  He's been accident free all summer.  As for rages, he was not getting good sound sleep because of the meds.  Lack of sleep makes anyone angry.  He was also rebounding so it was worse in the evening.  I know that being off of meds is not an option for everyone and I am not telling you to do that.  I just thought I would share our storey.

Hi Randy,

I'll try to make a long story short.

He & his younger sister basically stay with me. Mom has custody of all, but she is living in a motel room with the youngest children. Unfortunately these kids have not had a great life. They have had to move several times in the last 4 years. The only thing that stays the same with them is my house. I am not perfect by any means. I just try to do my best. I do remind him when he's here to take a bathroom break. He will go several days, weeks at time without an accident, then all of the sudden it starts.  If he has a change in his routine or if he goes someplace noisy it seems to affect him. Today he is with his Mom at her dad's. She (Mom) called me & said he was incontinent of bladder & bowel on separate occasions.  I encouraged her to call his pediatrician.

They started him on 36mg. My little man does not like chocolate. Only brownies. So I'll try that.

Here's another question.

Should the drs. be running blood tests or any others .? They never have.

Should he be in some sort of therepy ?

How many hours of sleep should he get?

Thanks again!

 

In regards to discipline, try positive reinforcement. An example would be if he is spending the day with you tell him that if he goes the entire morning without hitting his sister he can earn something (go to McDonald's for lunch, special time with grandma, rent a movie, etc.) Then do the same for the afternoon. My behavior therapist recommended this typr of behavior mod program and it works well for my son!

Be sure to pick an unwanted behavior that is a "hot spot" or some behavior you have been working on to diminish.

Good luck! Your grandson is lucky to have you!

Hi,

I'm sad to say my daughter didn't call the Dr. Grandson told her, he had diarrhea, and couldn't feel it. He also told her his Grandpa was in the bathroom & he couldn't hold it. (Urine)  He always uses the diarrhea excuse, although his BM's are loose at the times of the 'accidents'. But how could a child not know or feel this?

I like the ideas you have given me about the marbles, positive reinforcement.  I do try to catch them being good. I make a big deal of this.

I don't mean to whine, but, it is so hard on the kids & me when they get shuffled around. They need consistency & structure in their lives. I worry so much that he will go into a rage & hurt his sister when he has no supervision.

Poor sis, I try to explain to her he can't control what he is doing. Am I wrong? Can children with ADHD control their rages? Please do set me straight if I'm wrong. This isn't about me, I love these kids. I'll do anything to help them have a semi normal life.

Thank you!

Hlynn

I don't have a son who rages, but has become upset. It was never enough to ever hurt anyone. We dealt with this when we were working on the right med and adderall sent him into a tizzy.

I wonder if his meds are where they should be. He may need a dosage increase or another med entirly.

Tell me are the rages in the afternoon? If so he may be going through rebound, when the meds are wearing off and leave their little bodies all of a sudden. the feelin is like being dropped on the floor and it is very uncomfortable.

Can you call his doctor since his mother won't? a lot of children have a bowle condition that others hear have talked about. I haven't had to deal with that.

yes the children need structure and a feeling of security, it sounds like they may be lacking. that could also be causing your grandson's "situations"

Can you get full custody of them so that their needs are being taken care of??

Hmm, the rages start with red blothches on his shoulders, Normally around dinner. (5-7pm). Then without warning he'll dive into his sister. When she isn't here the anger isn't present as much.  Perhaps it's just a case of sibling rivalry?

We just had his meds changed from Adderall 15mg xr to Concerta.  He does take clonidine at 7pm to help with sleep.02mg.

Believe me I have tried to get custody of the 2. But CPS was involved with daughter & they told the judge they would supervise the family. 1 month after that, CPS closed the case!

My son is on concerta as well. He would suffer rebound around 4pm ish. I found if he ate it helped, especially chocolate! His blood sugar was low and he needed the sugar.

What dose concerta is he on? My son was 7 when he started meds and within 4 months he leveled off at 72mgs. He also has taken guanfacine(tenex) along with it that really acts like the "frosting on the cake" - it controls impulsive behavior.

he is 11 and now at 90mg and still 1 mg of guanfacine.

I would go back to court for the sake of these kids. DSS is a DSSgrace!!