I need some feedback on a couple of emails that were sent back and forth between myself and my son's step-mother. As you all may recall, my son, diagnosed at 3 with ADHD, then at age 9 with bipolar comorbid with ADHD. He resides with his father and step-mother. I can't for the life of me get it through her head that my son will always need accommodations, and convey to her that everyone needs to be compassionate when it comes to him. Here is the first email that I (biological mother) sent to step-mother.
I was just sitting here thinking about Cody and how I managed all 5 of them here. All 5 meaning Mike's kids. I know Cody is the sh*ts and I know he likes to pick which is a lot of him. At the same time, I explained that to Mike's kids and for the most part, Michael did really well with Cody. He tried to teach Cody when to stop by telling him too stop and he would teach Cody other ways instead of what he was doing. But everytime Cody did do something, he would say sorry to Michael and even the girls. The girls would turn their nose up at it, but Michael was a little more understanding and I told Cody that if they don't accept your apology then don't worry about it. You did your part and that is all that matters. Yes, the picking is consistant and yes, hearing "I'm sorry" all of the time gets old but what else do you do? Nothing. Becuase this is just the way Cody is and everyone has to accept it and deal with it. Everyone has got to be educated about bipolar, pure and simple. There is no other way to deal with it except that. And if everyone can compare with what they learn about it and compare it to what Cody does, then I believe an understanding and compassionate heart will ensue.
Here is the Step-Mother's response to the above:
ITS ALWAYS ABOUT CODY AND EVERYONE HAS TO ACCOMADATE HIM AND THAT IS WHAT HE KNOWS HAPPENS TO GET HIS WAY, HE ALSO HAS TO LEARN HOW TO TREAT PEOPLE LIKE HE WANTS TO BE TREATED, IF HE HITS SOMEONE THEN HE BETTER BE READY TO BE HIT BACK.
I will follow up with part two of this posted topic with the remainder of the email.
Tams
First of all Cody doesn't need to be around the step-mom if she doesn't have an understanding of his condition. He is her step-son and if it was her biological son she would want others to be understanding. It's hard to get people to understand diseases and condition especially if they see no need to. We as parents read about it because we want to know how to relate to our child and understand why it is that they do the things that they do. Don't let Cody go over his dad's house and if his dad miss him enough he'll try to be more understanding to his son's condition and he'll talk to his wife as well. There's no reason for Cody to be mistreated because of his condition. It's not his fault he is the way he is. The step-mom makes it sound like Cody just get up and say "I am bored let me annoy everybody in the house". People who don't understand your child's condition shouldn't be around him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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