Newfound Recognition/ Support Needed | ADHD Information

Welcome, lemonss.

Regarding the doctor you mentioned, who works well with you - why not pursue an evaluation through her or, if need be, get a referral from her to someone who can perform an evaluation? As you stated, "I was so incredibly relieved when I realized that not only was it her job to listen and believe, but also to support and diagnose." It seems that it's worth a shot.

Don't continue to beat yourself up and suffer, if there are solutions available. If it is the "stigma" about taking medication that is concerning -- if, in fact, it would come to that point, that is something you could choose to keep private. Others have done so (read some of the past posts) and I have chosen to do so, also, usually only discussing my son's ADHD with those who take the diagnosis seriously and have knowledge as to treatment, etc. (not to mention teachers, etc., that have worked with him over the years, and all these great people, who frequent these message boards).

Good luck to you. You sound like a wonderful young woman.

    DISCLAIMER: I know that the length of this post is off-putting, but if even one member identifies with a single sentence while scanning the page and takes a moment to convey that sense of understanding, I would be unmeasurably grateful.

    I'm a 21 year old female entering my junior year at my state's flagship university. As an English major with a minor in secondary education, the beginning of a new semester brings an all too familiar rush of hope and the unique excitement that comes with the presentation of fresh material to the intellectually-prone mind. However, I know now that this feeling is nothing more than a momentary peak of interest. Although the desire to learn, grow, and eventually teach others to grow through education in the liberal arts has and will always be there, the motivation is within sight, but always unreachable.
    In the beginning of my freshman year in high school, I approached my mother with concerns about my disorganized ways, which spread from the classroom to my bedroom and beyond. To this day, I can't remember a day from 9th to 12th grade that I didn't end up doing my homework 30 minutes before class (and on the bus, for first hour). Her sincere concern gave me hope, but the psychiatrist that I visited ended up focusing more on the fact that I was a teenager in the early stages of adolescence, and her primary concern became prescribing me to antidepressants after I took a forty-five minute multiple choice exam; most of which the questions involved body confidence and self-esteem. Trusting the doctor's analysis, I proceeded to try two different types of medication, one being Prozac. While I can't remember the latter (Maybe it was Lexapro...) I do remember giving them both a month and a half each to measure the effects, and I remember washing my hands of antidepressants because I knew, if not from the first visit then definitely by then, that depression/anxiety was not the issue. After this experience, I held my breath and created an illusion of efficiency and contentment, not only to make my family proud (I am the oldest of three girls), but also out of fear that the symptoms that I lived with would be misdiagnosed again.
    Fast forward to college, a year before now. After landing my first waitressing job, the stress that I was experiencing from being a sophomore in college (2000 level classes=more commitment) and living up to people's expectations at a barbecue restaurant from table to table took its toll on me, and I experienced my first real anxiety attack. Although I have no primary care physician (I had been getting by at after hours clinics), my mother's job at Woman's Hospital linked me to the best physician that I could have asked for. Upon walking in, I was sure that I would have to spend the next half-hour trying to convince her that I really did have some sort of chemical imbalance; one that I had not lived with my entire life, but had just developed and knew that I couldn't live with any longer. I was so incredibly relieved when I realized that not only was it her job to listen and believe, but also to support and diagnose.
    Over a year later, my once mild anxiety is now a thing of the past, and I have stopped taking Zoloft. My doctor prescribed me to Wellbutrin during and after my transition off of Zoloft (getting off of sertraline was a personal choice), and her praise about the drug (buproprion) excited me more than ever. Not only could I expect a restoration in the feeling of general motivation and passionate emotion that Zoloft had tucked away, but she also mentioned its possible benefit as a combatant of ADD. From 150 mg to 300 mg, and just a month ago to 450 mg, my expectations of this drug were kept on a realistic plane, even though the most intriguing thing about it seemed to be that it might help with my lifelong battle against inattentiveness. I've eased back down to 300 after no significant change in my lifestyle (in terms of inattentiveness and disorganization), and am finally ready to talk to someone about attention deficit disorder again, almost six years after expressing my initial concern.
    As a college student and full-time employee with others my age, I am far from oblivious to the stigma that surrounds ADD medication. I have even tried to dissect the stigma that I believe society has created from the stigma that I myself have created toward the drug and its users, as well as abusers. Throughout my life, I've been told that I'm mature and quite intelligent, and this recognition from others has only led to constant scrutiny and mental abuse from my own self, wondering why it is that I am so capable of convincing others that the tools of this trade come as easily to myself as they do to others in my age and occupational group. With less than ten days until the beginning of the Fall semester, I've begun to take this issue into consideration in the same intensity that I did as an under-informed high school freshman. My research over the past few days (not ten question, copy-cat, online multiple choice tests, but actual message boards and accredited websites) has opened my eyes to my true compatibility with the diagnosis of an adult with add, geared mostly toward inattentiveness. I found myself in tears when reading checklists on adult add support sites and experiences by multiple people living in this same hectic, seemingly unchangeable existence that I have found myself in. Up until recently, I chocked all of my shortcomings up to laziness and bad habits (at least those that I now am almost comfortable attributing to add). However, the determining factor between habit and chemical imbalance lies withing the intense desire that I possess to be a focused, organized, CAPABLE human being. Everything that I thought to be personality flaws are now becoming apparent as treatable symptoms, and its terrifying.
    Just as I was worried that my physician would have to be convinced that I was suffering from acute anxiety, I feel as if even more pressure is resting on my shoulders over this issue. If it took this long to convince myself that enlisting someone else's guidance and knowledge through experience was a goal that I could step up to, I can't help but think that my doctor will need even more convincing. What if she doesn't understand why I couldn't ask her about this condition sooner? What if she thinks that I'm just another college student looking for a study aid to get me through midterms and finals? After much consideration, I seem to be almost the perfect candidate for adult add testing, but I'm worried that I will psych myself out by the time of the appointment. I've read through many sources that ADD medication is commonly combined with varying doses of Wellbutrin (buproprion hcl), including Adderall and Vyvanse (the two most popular (or virtually only matches) when researching the combination with buproprion). I'm asking for everything right now, including advice on talking with my doctor, similar experiences, and anything else that you can muster up to convince me that my acknowledgment of this condition is a positive thing.

Hanginindere,

I couldn't thank you more for these words of support. Your empathy is appreciated more than you could know, and the fact that this advice is coming from a caretaker of a child diagnosed with ADD/ADHD provides me with a sense of confidence that I hadn't been able to acquire before. Knowing that someone, even one virtual personality through a message board, can relate makes talking to my physician about my condition seem more hopeful.

Hi dont know if I am too late. I totally understand what you are going through. I was diagnosed with dyslexia when I first went for help at 23. I did not know about add much then as I am from England and we are not so informed as in america. It did not feel right as although I have many symptoms I am quite good at reading as long as my surroundings are silent.

I did a degree in psychology and was so excited when I came across inattentive add. It fit me perfectly. The more i read, more i knew I had it. I do not believe I am dyslexic at all. I do not have insurance so could not afford to go to endless doctors and was worried I would not be able to convince the doctor.

I finally made an apppontment with a psychiatrist and was so excited/nervous I went over and over imaginary conversations in my head. When the day finally came I was very dissapointed as he asked me so much about my childhood but the kind of questions that had very little to do with add. I could tell he thought I had manic depression or something like that. He wanted to see me for several sessions just to relate my life and I just felt it was all wrong and would cost alot and end up in a misdiagnosis.

I decided not to go back. Instead I found my nearest support group and asked them if they had a list of psychiatrists that specialised in add. They also told me that a specialist should have a good idea if it is add or not in only one session and do not need to do expensive brain images etc...

well I was still nervous but it went really well and after forgetting all my stuff in his office when he came out to give them to me he joked "definately the right diagnosis!

Plesae write and let me know how it goes/went.

Thank you, lemonss. Stop back and let us know how things are going.

HI, I can relate to so much of what you wrote about! And I am happy for you that you are learning about ADD/ADHD and doing what you can for yourself--much earlier that I did for myself! Keep going!!

Like you, I totally looked forward to each semester of college with new HOPE and DETERMINATION and EXCITEMENT only to resume back to llifelong "habits" that sabotaged me ( feeling unmotivated, feeling overwhelmed, being bored, reading an entire book the night before a midterm, using crazy strageties to study for tests that "regular people" didn't have to use). And like you, I waited tables for income. Did you know that's an ideal job for ADD/ADHD afflicted people? It's never boring due to constant stimulation and a never ending cast of characters. There are constant VISUAL cues to remind you of your job (a glass is empty, a customer looks at you, you notice an empty bread basket, the kitchen buzzes you). There is a set structure that totally makes sense---greet your customer, offer them drinks, take their order, deliver, etc. It's a dot-to-dot! But the beauty is that you can switch it up a bit as you go depending on the table or the priority of a task! You can also trade days and times with other servers. And, the cool cash on the table or on your charge tally is great motivation. Etc etc! Wheeeee--the ideal job for us!!!

I've read at least 15 books on ADD/ADHD---there are only TWO that truly helped me----Book #1. Women And ADD/ADHD by Sari Solden. Very supportive, compassionate book that covers an incredible amount. She covers BOTH medication and NON-medication ways of dealing wtih ADD/ADHD. It is a very helpful, reassuring, informative book. This book was my starting point of accepting my condition and navigating the struggles both practically and emotionally. Covers a lot of ground.

Book #2. "ADD Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life" by Judith Kolberg and Kathleen Zadeau. ALL about how to ORGANIZE your life, put systems into place when you have ADD/ADHD. Addresses many specific issues and offers a lot of easy, common sense stragtegies that seriously changed my life. It was like someone had been in my head and house----and had engineered plans just for me! And they work! The book also explains why you struggle in these areas--it was the best book for me to give to my engineer and super logical dad to help him understand my difficulties.

-- Regarding meds-- I have two friends who are able to navigate without ADD/ADHD meds and do VERY well.

---I used to do manage OK--without meds. I worked longer hours and works tasks and at-home tasks took me longer than other people. Things got progressively worse over time---on ALL levels--once I had a child. I made it until my daughter turned 4 years old and I knew that I had to absolutely change my management route. I finally gave up what had become a tremendous fight everyday.

I spoke candidly to my doctor (internal medicine) about my struggles and ALL that I had done to overcome them for MANY years. * EXTENSIVE research about ADD/ADHD, using given stratgies for a non-medicated life of coping and managing the disease, exercise, high protein food plans, MANY organizational books, use of planning & organizational systems, chiropractic adjustments, counseling, strict sleep schedule, "just saying no" to overcommittment, etc etc. etc! I felt like a complete FAILURE.

He, as always, was compassionate and helpful. He asked me to journal my struggles and experiences for two weeks and then come back to see him. At that two week period, he then referred me to a Clinical Testing Center where I underwent several different tests over a course of 3 weeks. *There was NO brain scan requested. And, all I paid was my copay three times.

I was diagnosed with severe ADHD/ADD and deemed as qualifying for medication to help me function. Those meds have changed my life. NO, it's not perfect. Yes, I still struggle on several levels but NOT like before. I hope that if you decide that medication is the best route for you that it brings you the same peace and help I have found.

Continue to read these boards and post your own help for others. You are not alone!! I hope that if you will also look up the Sari Solden book on Amazon or from your library. Please write back when you can to let us all know how your appointment went. You have a lot of inspiration to offers others. Thanks for being brave, posting your story & worries, and asking for help!

Good luck to all who have read my post--I hope it's helped....and THANKS to all who post on these forums. Let's all support each other!

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I saw in another one of your posts information re the above book. I believe you recommended parents read this, also? I wrote the info. down and am going to check it out; hopefully, I'll get my son to take a look-see, too (ADHD, 17 yrs.). Thanks.