how do you handle sleep over invitations?

During the day, my 9 year old does well while on medication. He still has some social challenges, but is doing so much better than several years ago. After medication wears off, it is VERY evident that the dose is wearing off. He becomes hyper and silly.

We have avoided letting him go to sleepovers due to this. Recently, he and another boy have really hit it off and they want a sleep over at our house to celebrate the end of summer. Seems like an innocent enough request -- but it causes me great anxiety.

Should we just continue to avoid sleep overs? He has such success -- I don't want that to be diminished. I also don't want to deny him typical childhood fun events just because things "may" go wrong. We would have it at our house so giving medication in the morning wouldn't be a problem. I just worry about the time from 9 pm to when they wake up.

What so you all do?

I would let them have the sleep over at your house. They are both going to be hyper and stuff because they get to have the sleepover. So his behavior probably won't be so noticeable. Have them play games, video or whatever, order a pizza or whatever. It is great that your son has a friend to do a sleep over. I would just try to keep them busy doing fun stuff and have a bedtime for them. You could also try giving him his meds later so they last later into the evening. Aaron'smom39679.7974884259

i would let my son do it if it was at my own house. i think i would be way more worried if it was at the other kids house. i also agree that they will prob be hyper anyway b/c of the excitement of sleeping over. i have yet to be asked for a sleep over. mine is just turning 7 but im sure it wil be soon enough. i just always get more worried when they are going somewhere else. i think other ppl would be over whelmed with my son. good luck with whatever u decide. and remember u dont have to have them all the time.

kim

The fact that he is even getting invitations for sleepovers is fantastic! My adhd 9yo ds gets to watch his "normal" 6yo brother get birthday invites, playdates and sleepover requests while his own dance card goes unfilled. Breaks my heart...
I agree to let your son have his time. Talk to him about expectations ahead of time, and if nothing else, you can always shut it down at 9 or so....He's a kid......let it happen!
< =text/>_popupControl(); We have always had the sleep overs at our house for the same reasons you state as well as still needing an escort to the bathroom in the night. We have let our son sleep at my sister's house with her boys, as well as at a friend's whose mom is a teacher at my son's school and who is aware of my son's ADHD. During the summer we have lots of sleep overs at our house and, since we seem to be electronics central, the other kids are always happy to be here. So far my son doesn't seem to notice that it's always at our house. I'm anticipating the time that we'll need to think about a fast-acting dose for him to take only on those occasions that he goes to a friend's whose parents I'm not good friends with and who may not know nor need to know about my son's ADHD. I too think if it is at your house, it is easy for you to keep an eye on things
as it gets later. They could watch a movie which sometimes keeps my
kids a little calmer (or mesmorized). Since it is last day of summer, I think
giving meds later in the morning and having the boy come over later
could really work. And most kids really do seem to get a little wild on
sleepovers.

I don't worry about things so much at my house, it is when my 10 year
old dd goes to a friend's house that I worry. The older she gets the more
common sleepovers are becoming. She has a good friend who she has
spent the night with many times. I use a short acting in the afternoon and
the mom knows about her ADHD and gives her the am dose. But my dd is
in desperate need of branching out and making more friends. We have
had one or two others for sleepovers here and they have nicely
reciprocated but I always make some excuse as to why she can't do it.
These are situations where the other mom does not know about her
ADHD, and I am just not comfortable telling the mom and asking her to
give her the meds in the morning. Not only do I worry about the time
before the morning meds kick in but also about when the mom will
actually give her the meds. SHe really needs them first thing in the
morning. She is begining to notice that we always have the kids here. I
haven't come up with a good solution yet..................

[QUOTE=workinghard]

What so you all do?

[/QUOTE]

my dd is the same way when the medicine wears off. She has not had a sleep over at our house or any others for that reason. She gets hyper and silly.....and its hard for her to be obdient when she is like this.

I'll share what I saw when our whole family stayed with cousins and with friends who live out of town. We had to keep the evenings very structured and low key; in other words, not too stimulating. Things went smoothly as long as nighttime focused on watching a movie, playing board games and card games, or looking at baseball cards.

My 8 year old doesn't have close enough friends to be invited to a sleepover. At least a few people want playdates with him, so that's improvement!

Mom2ADHDboy39682.3858333333I agree with everyone else, we have all sleepovers here bo I can control the situation. Besides none of his friends go to sleep till past midnight which my son cannot do. even 10 is late for him even though he is 10 he can't handle the late nights, he is a monster the next day. If it is at your house at least you have control over what goes on and your child gets their meds as needed.

UPDATE!

We had the sleepover last night and it was a success! They played well with only a few episodes that I had to remind or remove him to help him regain his control. The morning was more difficult prior to his meds kicking in. The guest child was a little overwhelmed but that soon changed as the meds kicked in to help my son get control of his hyperness.

Thanks for your advice. I think that we will try this again AT our house. I would be a wreck if it was at someone's house that I had not felt comfortable sharing his ADHD with.

We have these same worries. My son stayed over a one person's house and she commented on the meds we gave her to have him take in the am. Made me sad that she was judging him just based on that....He hasn't been invited back and on all accounts it went well. : (

We are going to have a sleepover for his bday party. I feel we can monitor this at our house and they'll all be wound. At least other parents wont' see my son's "changes"!

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