My 6 yr old has been diagnosed with ADHD since last year. This is her second year in this school and things are getting worse and worse. Last year I was constantly called to come pick her up from school. She would run out the doors and onto the playground. Run into the bathroom and lock the door. The staff at her school are complete jerks. They have grabbed her by her hair, left her alone in the principals office laying under a desk sleeping, called her a baby in front of her whole class, and the security guard left a bruise on her cheek from holding her down. This year on the first day of school I recieved a phone call asking me to come get her, they said she ran up the hill and they needed me to come. Well my 4 yr olds school hadn't started yet so I got her shoes on her and got in the car to go get her. It took me probably 10 mins at the most to get to the school. When I got there four staff members were standing at the door and told me she wasn't there. They then said she ran up the hill so I look over towards the playground equipment trying to spot her. They then tell me, no she left the school property. She ran up the hill towards the main road and no one knows where she is. I of course started crying and asking them who is chasing after her. Come to find out, no one had chased after her. As she was already halfway up the hill the principal went back in the school to get her car keys and then drove after her. Of course by then she was no where to be found. I was frantic. I told the school to call my mother and took of running with my child in tow headed to my car. As I was pulling out the principal and a state trooper pulled in behind me. I jumped out expecting to see her bringing my daughter back. Of course she didnt have her she waited so long to go after that my daughter wasn't on the main road. At this point I shout to the officer what my child was wearing and took off with my 4 yr old on foot the way she had went. They were blocking my car in so I couldn't take it. Arriving at the top of the hill I spotted my mom and flagged her down to go look for her. After 30 mins she was found 2 blocks away knocking on peoples doors. For over 45 mins my child was missing from the school, no where to be found and they never called the local police. The trooper never called for back up. When we got back to the school the principal suspended her for a day from school.
When my older child got home that day she informed me that there was 3 teachers on the playground when my 6 yr old ran off. No one gave chase to at least keep her in sight. She crossed a main street that has heavy traffic and went down a side street. I was way too upset at this point to think clearly. I was holding my child and crying. It took me 2 hours after being home to calm down enough to have any kind of thought whatsoever. So on Monday morning I went to the principals office and asked my questions. She kept telling me she couldn't answer most of them and assured me that I could ask the teacher all of my questions at our SIT meeting that was scheduled for friday. Of course I wasnt satisfied with the lack of concern or answer I was getting from the school and contacted the school board once more. And of course no response from them at all. Well we had the meeting and set forth some safety measures and informed the school that should our child leave the school grounds we wanted local police called immediately considering that they lack the intelligence to go after her or let me know on the phone when they call that she has left the grounds.
I left the meeting hoping that things would improve. Which I should have known better. The very next day my husband finally convinced me to step away from the phone and go to lunch with him. Well we came home to a phone call that we needed to get our daughter. I called the school pysch left a message as i was instructed and off to the school we went. Ten minutes top is how long it took to get there. Upon arriving as we were turning into the parking lot I could hear my child screaming and crying. Then I spotted the principal holding her while standing between two securtity officers. My husband immediately throws the car in park and runs over and grabs our child. He then ( I will not lie he was upset and yelling) asked wth was going on. The principal turns and walks away without a word and the security gets in my husbands face and starts yelling. Holding onto my child my husband walks away to put her in the car, and I asked the other officer if he could please tell me what is going on. My child was terrified and her socks and shoes were off. The officer that yelled at my husband, gets in my face and yells that we are done and to take my child and leave. I had no clue why she was being sent home, why security was there, why she had no shoes on and why the principal wouldn't speak to me. As soon as he tells me this I decided I wasn't leaving any of my children at this school without knowing what is going on so I go in to get my oldest child and they refuse to let me go get her. They bring the security guard in to stand and block me while they call my child out of class. I immediately went home and started calling the school board. I finally got ahold of the lady we worked with last year and filed a complaint against the security officers and we have a meeting tomorrow about the school. At this point I am feeling completely and totally alone and trying to fight this school and get my child an education. I am running out of ideas and resources and am at a lose as what to do for my child and how to change this school. She is being sent home every single day from school and they are making me out to be a bad parent. It took me over a year to get where I am now. We have them getting rdy to do the IEP evaluation but if she isn't in school I don't know how she is going to be tested. If anyone has any advice I would be grateful.
What a terrible situation - I'm sorry. Is it possible she needs a one on one aid to stay with her at all times so she can't run out? (By the way, I can't believe that no one went after her when she ran off of school grounds. I understand that the school would let a high schooler go, but a 6 year old!!!! If you did that as a parent you would be in big trouble with children's services! I would think they could be in trouble for that.) I really don't have anything to offer but am sending lots of hugs and I know someone on this board will be abale to give you some ideas.
Good luck!
I am so sorry that you are going through this. You need to ask for an iep in writing. It doesn't matter if she is being sent home and not there. It will be more the reason for her to get one. Do it in writing, send it certified or take it in and have the office date stamp it. Copy it and keep a copy for yourself. Keep all correspondence paperwork etc... between you and the school. Having an iep gives you some rights and the school a few more restrictions, make yourself knowledgeable of these. When you start the process they should give you a handbook with all of them in it. Ask for it. I would hire an advocate if I were you. They are expensive I think, but you may need one. I would also photograph any marks, cuts, and or bruises the school personnel are putting on your daughter for now on. If they touch her again leaving marks I would inform the school you are contacting a lawyer about filing charges against them. They are not allowed to physcically assault your child. My son has been restrained several times in the past, there are proper ways of doing it. He has never gotten a bruise from it. I know what it is like to have a violent child in a classroom. Like greyhoundmom says maybe your daughter needs a fulltime ot to stay with her. Make a list of everything your daughter may need for her iep, go with your husband and an advocate if you can to the meeting. It takes awhile the process drags, but I think they only have 45 days to have the meeting after they get request in writing. Juels, your post made me cry. I am so sorry for you. I would contact a lawyer, if you can afford it, so you know your rights. Also call your doctor and find out if there are any resources or groups that could advocate for you or at least give you advice. Another last-ditch option might be to do some research on local media personalities or local newspaper writers ... see if you can find one with any ties to ADHD, education, etc. Schools HATE negative media attention and maybe you can find an advocate this way. (You may not want to put your story out there, so I'd think through the last one.) My thoughts are with you!!!Oh man! This is just aweful! There is no way such things would be accepted by any school board over here, that's for sure. I am so sorry that I do not have any good advice to give you, but I will be thinking of you and your children. Sending good thougts and hugs your way.You need to hire a private doctor to evaluate her first. A neuropsychologist, packing a big report with lots of testing attached. Then you hire an education advocate. Then you request SE testing in writing via certified mail. Then the clock starts ticking.
You are being pressured to medicate. It's that simple. If you don't want to do this, perhaps you can arrange independent home study until things get worked out. Or maybe you can go to school with her. You have described an incident on a playground, but if she bolts from a classroom I'm pretty sure it's not legal for the teacher to leave the class unattended to chase her. It sounds to me like they've decided not to chase.
Hi, welcome, I am so sorry for what you and your family are going through. My son had so many issues with the school, that I asked his Pediatrician if he would write a note saying that it is medically necassary for my childs mental health to be homebound. He did and my son has been on homebound since last year. The school district pays for a teacher to come to my house everyday and work with my son in all subjects. I know this wont work for everyone, and I had to leave a well paying job the year before (I am a nurse) because I was being called daily to pick up my son, but my son needed me desperately. We have to do some work on our own but he is so much better off. As I mentioned earlier this wont work for everyone, especially if you have to work but it is just a suggestion. If not, then definately get an IEP, and keep a daily journal of incidents that happen on campus and what is being done to help your child. Good Luck and remember you are your childs advocate.juels I agree with the poster who suggested and aide. If I were you, I would request a full evaluation by the school. List the reasons above in your letter requesting the evals. Schools will not respond unless you play by the rules. Part of this is lots of documentation and staying calm. Although I'm not sure how wnayone can stay calm when their child bolts and no one goes after them, BUT you'll have to try. Start your list NOW of things you feel she needs. She definitley needs and aide with her at all times, including recess. Keeping her safe is the number one priority here. Kids bolt, it happens and school is going to need to work together with you to find a way to help her. Just be reasonable on your side too and try to work together. It will be frustrating for you, but worth it in the end. Counseling may help too. although some of this may be due to impulsivity, it may help to find out why she keeps running off and is being destructive. I'm not sure what an SIT meeting is. Does she have a formal diagnosis? What treatment plans have you implemented? Does she take medication? A behavior plan? It's helpful to work with school and let them know the things you are doing to help her and finding success with and can suggest they implement.
Again, this isn't really something to help you but document everything that goes on at the school! It may be beneficial down the road. I didn't and I wish I had. We have experienced similar issues in my daughters special ed class (the running part). One of the moms reported the school to child protective services and also notified the newspaper. Once a report at a facility like a school is filed they have to investigate. you have a right to be able to feel comfortable your child will not be lost or come to undo harm while at school. The other thing is start a paper trail for sure. Write letters, don't just call. If your child has a legitimate, on paper diagnosis, it is considered a disability which will put you in the realm of IDEA laws and rights. If you don't have that diagnosis go somewhere and get it so you have that tool to do battle with. I hope things improve. I can only imagine the agony you must be dealing with. good luckIf you call CPS on the school, I'm betting they will respond by recommending alternative placement, and once there it is almost impossible to get back to mainstream.1] get a dx in writing.
2] request a school eval and iep , in writing. And get an advocate.
3] contact a lawyer
4] send a certified letter of complaint to the principal,with a copy to the school superintendent , the state dept of education and to your state[and federal] congressman and senator. Let the school know that you will hold them personally responsible for any emotional and physical harm that your child may incur during school hours. Remind them that you have contacted a lawyer as to your child's rights.[if your child already has a disability and the school is aware of it, then they are guilty of breaking the law]
5]Document everything. Phone calls, visitations to teachers, doctors, all school personnel.
6] go to the wright's law and IDEA web sites and get yourself informed.
[QUOTE=Jessica N]If you call CPS on the school, I'm betting they will respond by recommending alternative placement, and once there it is almost impossible to get back to mainstream. I do not recommend this CPS course of action. It will cause you far more headache that you bargained for. The schools are not defenseless, and it sounds like you have an aggressive principal.[/QUOTE]
Jessica N: I am just curious and wonder if you would explain further your statement "...respond by recommending alternative placement, and once there it is almost impossible to get back to mainstream." ? I'd really appreciate it. TIA.
BTW, re my previous post - my DS is in, I guess you would say, alternative placement (alternative school); however, I do not look it as a punishment, rather as a last ditch effort to help him where all other resources have failed, including those at school (though school's efforts and support were lacking and inconsistent), at home, and in conjunction with medical and behavioral health professionals. In addition DH and I team together to continue to try and help our young man. We continue to believe that he can turn things around and return to his home school.
Most parents would like to keep their kids in a regular classroom. Which all of us would. But there are kids like hanginindere's and mine. My kid does not function in a regular classroom. You would not want your child in a classroom with mine. He is in a specialized classroom dealing with the behavioral problems he has. He gets all the stuff most parents have to fight to get the teacher every year to do just for him. He doesn't get pulled out for 10 or 20 minutes a day to be taught what is worked on all day and each day at his classroom. My son is at and above his benchmarks, likes school and is thriving. He is in a small classroom and has two teachers. It isn't such a bad thing if it helps your kid. If the school does it right, they would only send a child to an alternative classroom or school as the last resort.
I am with Aarons Mom and hanginindere, my daughter is also in an alternative program. It's GREAT! She is under so much less pressure to "do the right thing" and fit in where she didnt fit in.
Keep your child in an environment that keeps her safe and learning, don't worry about labels or placement. If you feel they're "holding her back" somehow then you deal with that if/when the time comes. Right now you need to get your child in a "good place" with school. Get school to meet her needs anyway possible. Grannyfran is right, you need an advocate and knowledge of your rights. Alwyas challenge them with a smile.
Alternative placement is another school or another physical location, generally, but sometimes just special classroom. But this is only for special education children -- kids with an IEP. This is where they put the SE children who cannot function in a regular classroom. A regular classroom is "mainstream" -- the elementary school down the street.
BTW, the three posters above have children in SE alternative placement, so that's basically one viewpoint of the big picture here. Their children need to be there, and they have protections under the IDEA. I have a child in regular education with behavioral issues only, and zero academic issues, and an IEP, so I have a different viewpoint.
[/QUOTE]
I am one of those three posters Jessica N refers to and would like to elaborate on the nature of my son's transfer to the alternative school: Academic issues were the main reason he was transferred to this school. My husband and I have tried for years with marginal success to have our son receive assistance in school and have worked with him at home and encouraged him. It was determined post further testing in middle school (it had previously been determined he likely had ADHD by school testing) that he was not eligible for a special education plan, as the school psychologist explained that he scored too high on standardized testing to be considered for an individual plan. (I must add, though, there were some classes he has been in through the years where two teachers were available, so marginally, help was available, as well some of his teachers throughout the years have been angels when it came to reaching out and keeping in touch, trying to help.) With that said, with accommodations in place at home and some assistance at school as well as personal challenges with whatever DS has dealt with through the years with ADHD, we were faced with this the decision to send him to alternative school the second semester of last year, where we were informed by the assistant principal of his school that he would have more success academically in the alternative school, as he was failing the 10th grade. A little note, too, that our (public not private) school district is very competitive, focuses more on the high-end achievers, and someone like my son easily can get lost in the whole scheme of things. I have a neighbor with grown daughters, one was a high-end achiever and in AP classes, the other a bright child but not the same achievement-wise, and the mom told me how she could see the difference in attention given to her two children due to their different abilities; as well, I have a child, who was quite successful in this school district, who is presently in her senior year of college and feel I am not biased/can make a judgment from personal experience.
juels0830: Please excuse me for once again veering away from your original post. I do wish you success and hope your daughter will get some help from her school. There are many very experienced people here as well as some very good suggestions for you. Good luck!
We are all probably scaring this lady if the school does anything to help her daughter she probably will not accept it. Where our kids are in alternate or whatever should be one of the last places to try. I can emphasize with juels0830 because my son's behavior was not the exactly the same, but very extreme. Like I said in my post before, (first one) send a letter or take one in and request an evaluation. By law if you do it writing they have to do it.
But I do have to say Jessica N has a dark and grim look at where our kids are. The county, state, or other agency is not or involved or seen or had any say in where or what my son is doing. If I had to have child services or the county mental health involved my son would still be terrorizing a regular classroom. I have had complete say on whether I wanted my son where he is and he does get academics. He has homework each day and a pile of school work sent home each week. He is at and above his benchmarks.
But juels0830 your daughter is intitled to a free and SAFE education. If the school can't do this then they have to find a place at their cost for your daughter to go. Go to the meeting and ask about placement into a private school that they pay for if they can't keep your daughter safe. That will heip step up their efforts of keeping her from running off. If it's gonna cost em money, they are gonna look for an alternative. And I am sorry about the debate. But it is like another stigma attached to my son when it shouldn't be. Where my son is a happy, nuturing place where he is safe and learning. He went from hating school to loving it and that is what we all want. An iep doesn't take any power away from you. You have the power to say yes or no to anything they suggest. It is a tool for you to use to get help with your daughter.
juels, also in my original post and another previous poster suggest a GOOD option is an aide for your daughter. Like Aaron's mom says the department of education is responsible to provide her with a free SAFE education. There can be many options for this and you just need to find out what your options are. Don't be afraid of the consequences. Keep your mind open and explore all options. It's easy to say get her to stop bolting, but getting her to stop is not quite that easy. I have a friend who's son has autism and he's a "runner". I have another friend who's daughter has no diagnosis of anything, but has run from the playground and classroom and has some classroom issues. All these kids have different accomodations and placements. All work FOR THEM.
My daughter is not in a class with kids with emotional issues, nor behavior issues, nor severe LD's. The program has classrooms for these kids too, but her class is kids with like issues and likesocial concerns and CPS had nothing to do with it and the decision was also mine. With a LOT of work, I looked at a LOT of different schools and met with our home district to see what each place offered. Every program is different, alternative doesnt mean any one thing, they are all different for different populations. Please be sure you get accurate information before making decisions or criticizing.
I've been following this but didn't really have anything to say until now.I have a good friend who is special ed department chair at a middle school here. Her kids are the ones in the alternative setting for emotionally disturbed kids. The school also has classes geared more for other issues like autism. Just wanted to set the record straight on a few things. These classes are focused on academics, just set up and staffed in a manner that will set these kids up for success. It's true that they often receive services (both mental health and otherwise) but the only classes in the public school system that are geared toward anything other than academics are the classes for the severely cognitively impaired- the emphasis there is on life skills.
The only time CPS is involved is when the teachers or administration call them for suspected abuse or neglect.
It sounds like a serious problem if the school cannot keep your daughter from running and you're right to be worried. I wouldn't want to send her to school either, if I weren't sure they could keep my child safe. Hire an advocate if you can, at the very least don't go to the meetings alone. I agree with Diane that you should keep an open mind. Request testing, or better yet, if you can afford it, get a private neuropsych exam.
Just to update, we finally got them to start the IEP evaluation. And after talking with the school board we have gotten them to change some things at the school. First off. her principal is not allowed to send her home from school without getting approval from either the lady at the school board or her own supervisor. We have also set up a time out room for her in the school where the teacher (who has background in dealing with children with adhd and behavioral problems) takes her to the time out room when she cant settle down and they sit there til she is ready to go back to class. On the first day this was started my child threw everything around the classroom trying to get sent home. When they wouldn't send her home she then threw even more stuff and started doing things to get attention, such as eating glue sticks and throwing stuff at the staff. After school was out i went there and set with her til she cleaned up her mess. After 2 hours she realized that she wasn't going home til she cleaned it up and she finally did. The very next day, she was only in timeout one time but it last an hour. The next day it lasted 20 mins. Her teacher has started rewarding her behavior in small increments in the classroom and when she is on good behavior she gets to hold a teddy bear while doing her class work. Another thing she is doing, she uses an index card and small stickers to keep track of her good behavior and for every 6 stickers she earns ( this is done as one sticker every ten mins or so) she gets 5 mins of fun activity such as doing a puzzle or getting to play an educational game on the computer reading to a kindergartener. My child is responding very well to all this and is starting to even do her classwork when she is supposed to. her behavior is improving as she is realizing that she isn't going to get what she wants when she acts out. And what she wants is to come home. Hopefully things will keep going in the direction they are going in and the IEP will help. Thank you all for your replys and I will try to keep you updated.
, YAY, I am so happy for you guys! Keep up the good work.This is my 1st time seeing this thread. I haven't had time to be on the board lately. I am soooo glad to hear that things have taken such a positive turn. Good for you for pushing to make things right for your child. I'm thrilled that the staff is reinforcing the positive behaviors and she's responding so well!Very good news. I am glad for your daughter and you. She is still very young, has many school years ahead, and fortunately, you are an advocate for her and are setting the foundation for success in school!!
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