HEEELLP I Want to SCREEEAAM | ADHD Information
[QUOTE=2Gr8Kids]I have a 10 1/2 year old with ADHD Anx/Dep.
I WANT TO POKE MY EYES OUT WITH A FORK and IM so mad and frustrated!
HOW MANY FICKIN' times do you have to tell this kid (who has been taught since probably age 2) to:
Chew gum with mouth closed
Chew food with food closed
Wear shoes when outside
Brush teeth, put contacts in
Sit at the tabel when eating instead of wandering back and forth
Take pills
I HAVE TO TELL HIM EVERYTHING OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN>
I AM GOING TO LOSE IT!
Thanks for letting me vent.
[/QUOTE]
You just described my dd of 8 exactly. She is on Concerta but it don't maker one perfect. I still have these challenges with her. I have to even talk to her when she is in the shower sometimes. For example: don't forget to wash your hair. Make sure you clean your face in there, etc.....She will be 9 in early Feb and I feel like I have a 5-6 yr. old.
I too have an 10 year old ADHD with anxiety and depressive disorder. I have the same list of complaints you all do and I understand the feeling of wanting to poking my eyes out with a fork. We are here for you.Thanks all.
No offense taken Diane.
Well, except for the wandering during meals and the pill taking, the other behaviors you listed are common among all children. Just keep reminding yourself that not all irritating behaviors have anything to do with ADHD, they're just kid behaviors. Just like learning to say please and thank you (and I've seen many "normal" adults who can't seem to remember these common courtesies!!) some things take time for kids to learn. That's what we're there for.
However, I have to say that I don't think a 10 and 1/2 year old SHOULD be medicating without your supervision. There are too many things that could go wrong: forgetting if they took it and taking more, forgetting how much they should take, etc. These kids tend to be a bit behind their agemates in maturity, so would you let your 8 yo take medicine without your authority? Especially pschotropic drugs like stimulants? I wouldn't.
The constant reminders can be frustrating, but the day will come soon enough that they don't need us.
BPQW39693.2912384259I have a 10 1/2 year old with ADHD Anx/Dep.
I WANT TO POKE MY EYES OUT WITH A FORK and IM so mad and frustrated!
HOW MANY FICKIN' times do you have to tell this kid (who has been taught since probably age 2) to:
Chew gum with mouth closed
Chew food with food closed
Wear shoes when outside
Brush teeth, put contacts in
Sit at the tabel when eating instead of wandering back and forth
Take pills
I HAVE TO TELL HIM EVERYTHING OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN>
I AM GOING TO LOSE IT!
Thanks for letting me vent.
I'm gonna just scream with you!
Actually my daughter is better about the showering and teeth brushing (still with prompting though), meals are better Taking pills better
the chewing with mouth closed.....................drives me NUTS. My six year old does not chew with her mouth open, why can't my 14 year old get it...........it is total distraction, she's much worse off meds..................
I have to keep reminding DD to do the same things, but I had a solution.
NO GUM, period, not negotiable.
If you chew with your mouth open you leave the table, dinner is over, kitchen closed.
If teeth don't get brushed, I will brush them for you, same with hair.
It only took DD leaving the table and missing dinner one time to get the hint. I don't worry about the shoes, DD has not worn socks or shoes willingly ever, and I hardly ever wear shoes when home, so I let that one slide./
actually edbson I think that's how we got my daughter grooming, I said I'll do it if you don't. At first she didnt care if I did it, but at some point you're just TOO old ot have Mom brushing your teetha dn washing/brushing your hair!
I also face this challenge with my son and it is so frustrating. I copied this article a long time ago and every now and then look back on it as a reminder of what is really going on...
Imagine, Jack is on a boat, happily fishing. Reeling in the jiggling fish while still steering the boat captures all of his attention. Jack is so consumed by the experience of the moment (catching the fish) that he can’t look ahead to see the waterfall coming up. It’s not that he doesn’t care about the cliff. After all, he doesn’t want to fall off a cliff any more than anyone else. It’s that he never gets the chance to see it. ADHD kids often are stuck in the present moment. The future comes as a surprise. This is called a lack of “foresight.” So, people with ADHD:
Have trouble stopping long enough to consider what is best for themselves in the future. This often gets misinterpreted as not caring.
Have trouble stopping long enough to consider what is best for other people. This often gets misinterpreted as being selfish or mean.
Ouch ouch ouch!! I have never wanted to stab myself in the eyes with a fork or staple my head to the floor. However, when I was a child I used to use needle and thread and sew my lips shut and put spiders all over my arms and legs!! The lips were just the outer layer of skin so it didn't hurt too much:). Why mention this???? Children are so self absorbed and adhd kids even more so. Experimenting is part of growing up and if it means manners and grooming get left behind for a while, then they get left behind.
My 9 y/o son, Jon (yay- he made it to 9), experimented with a friends bike last night and went right over the handlebars. He experimented in a restaurant parking lot throwing stones in a puddle, and experimented soaking his brother and sister with a soaker. He has a great time and as long as he isn't hurting himself or anyone else I leave him be.
When his teeth are looking yuckky I will remind him to brush them, when he is stinky stinky i will suggest he take a bath or not come into the room where I am. If he doesn't comb his hair, he gets it cut short. If he chews with his mouth open I remind him about bugs flying in.
when our kids are exceptional we need to just enjoy the moment. Leave the forks and staples in the drawers. take out the needle and thread and have fun (just kidding). Have a great weekend everyone.
randyjim39689.7656944444I wrote a list of table manners in big letters and posted it next to the dinner table. Every time my son violates one of the rules, he has to read the entire list.
Jessica N39709.72731481482Gr8Kids- I think we have the same child! My son is the same age and my list of irritants is almost identical.The sound of chewing is like nails on a chalkboard to me and I can usually cope if he'll keep his mouth shut (it takes many many reminders each meal), but I can still hear it. If I'm stressed or pms-ing I can't even be in the same room while he eats. And gum- it's pretty much banned. The only time he gets it is if I can send him outside with it.
I haven't found anything that works for more than a few weeks. Right now his hair is really long (almost shoulder length) and he's not giving me a hard time about brushing/washing it because (1) if he refuses to shampoo it'll get shaved off and (2) I've given him a bottle of spray detangler to use before brushing and it's new enough that he still thinks it really cool.
I love the idea of sending him away from the table when he chews with his mouth open. I'd just have to get DH on board with it- he doesn't think it's that big of a deal but he does understand that it irritates me.
jaderock-I know what you're saying. Reminder and reminder drives you insane. I'm the same way if it's PMS time, I just want to flip out with the noises made while he's chewing food!! I can't take it 
A lot of the frustration is when we do work around the house or projects, we ALWAYS include the 2 kids (5-daughter/NO ADHD and 11-son ADHD) having them work WITH us has so many rewards. BUT, it's is OWN JOB, just to follow around our son to keep him on task to do his job or make sure it was done how we asked it to be done!!! It takes me/husband away from our portion of the job. If we just say forget it (as husband does our of frustration) it teaches him nothing and he knows he can do a crap job at whatever to get out of the work.
Gum, yea it's banned, but man it sure does turn up all the time. He drives my husband more crazy than I. I actually chew mine with my mouth open some times. I chew gum like crazy, it's a stress relever for me and it keeps me focused on work.
A swear, raising an ADHD kid is hard work! People really have no idea. Some people think we might be too strict, but if you give an ADHD kid a millimeter, they'll take and mile and stop 25 times along the way for a drink! I structure and make lists, and leave reminder notes, ect.. for his own benefit and my sanity.
2Gr8kids, pleae dont take offense, but can I make a suggestion? Everything doesnt have to be a lesson learned and he doesnt need to learn it all at once. So if you're doing a family project, maybe be sure he has a little less responsibility than you think he should. Make it possible for him to accomplish it. That way you can work together as a family with less frustration. It wont' make him a lazy adult. We run inot this with my daughter too. So all of us are doing yardwork, we can give more to our 6 year old, but the 14 year old cannot handle much, so in order to do something altogether and not have her felt left out, we just have her get things for us or whatever. I used to worry SO much about the same things you do, but have found lowering my expectations has dramatically changed the dynamic we have. Is she going to gorw up and have a messy house and yard??? Maybe, BUT I can't make her perfect, but can make her feel part of the family, supported and loved. I have found the less pressure my daughter has the more cooperative she is. It also is getting better as she matures. Remember he's about 2-3 years less mature than his chronological age. She is now interested in working, she WANTS money, so she's learnign she has to be more responsible to make it...................it'll come..............I hear your frustration, and I definitely relate to it.
What helps me is to pick one thing to work on and remind myself that I'm letting the other things slide for now. If you focus on changing one thing at a time, you'll get through your whole list faster than trying to work on changing all of them at once. What helps me even more is to remember that he's not doing these things by choice. My ds never does that stuff when his stimulant is in his system, but it all comes out in the morning before meds kick in and after they wear off at night. I try to remind myself that the annoying behaviors are a way of letting out his extra energy due to hyperactivity (like working his jaw so hard when chewing, which leads him to chew loudly, gulp his drinks, swing his legs under the table, bounce or squirm in his chair, and do other annoying things). Some of the other behaviors are due to impulsivity, like cutting people off when they're speaking. It's still annoying, but I feel better knowing that it's due to ADHD and not just that he's trying to be annoying or ignore my wishes.