Hi!! New here, and already have questions | ADHD Information
At the end of your first post you sounded upset to think he has ADHD - but don't worry about the diagnosis. There are a lot worse things that could be wrong with a child and it gets better since the hyperactity and impulsivity decrease into adulthood (still higher then other adults but much less then it was). I haven't had the easiest life - but I'm an occasional teacher and have 5 years of university (went back on ritalin for some of those).
I'm quite smart and a lot of that may be due to the fact that I read in my bedroom till my parents went to bed then hid in the bathroom reading by the nightlight for a couple more hours. Like someone else mentioned my parents put a lock on my door and a potty in my room when I was 3-7 since I never slept more than 6 hours a night and would leave the house/climb on cupboards, etc. My opinion is if he doesn't need the sleep don't worry about it - just keep him safe while he's awake.
My son has also always been on the go. He doesn't understand that sometimes you just have to stop talking or whisper. He is very defiant if he wants something and gets violent with me and cannot handle hearing the word no. The first time he sat down and actually watched tv he was 2 years old - even now he prefers to watch superhero shows so he can run around the family room pretending to be one the ENTIRE show. But at least I don't have to worry about him being lazy and unfit, lol.
I have started logging his behavior for the last month, and its turning into a book.
Thanks so much for the advice and suggestions. We're just waiting unti Sept. 12 for the appt. and I am hoping to get somewhere then.
After reading your post, I agree! Our sons sound like twins. Especially the defiance! Jakob will look right at me when he is doing that I have just told him not to do as if he is saying "what you gonna do about it?" I am glad to hear from others that 4 is the worst and it does get better. That gives me some solace.
BTW we have a lot in common! I got married 6/4/02 and Jakob was born 5/26/04.
I am so glad I stumbled upon this website. I've searched website after website trying to educate myself on ADHD.
I have a 4 year old son who I think may have ADHD. I have an appointment w/ his pediatrician on Sept. 12 to discuss his behavior, and find out where to go from here. I am hoping for some feedback from you parents that have been there and done that.
My son Garrett has always been on the go. Very active since the day he learned to crawl. I always chalked up his behavior to being a boy, a spirited one at that. He has trouble obeying me for very simple instructions, he cannot and will not sit still to even color with me. It's impossible for me to try to teach him anything, as when I ask him to look at me, he just looks away, rolls his eyes, and looks every direction BUT towards me. He is careless in his actions, even knowing that he will get in trouble for say hitting his sister, getting into things he shouldn't. He will not sit down at his preschool class to learn anything, although he is very smart, it's like he just doesn't want to apply himself. He is VERY defiant and does almost everything w/out thinking of the consequences. Even taking away his favorite things do not work, it gets an immediate reaction out of him, but never stays in his mind long enough to remember the reprucussions from his behavior.
It's like he lives in his own world. He will look straight at me and do exactly what I just told him not to do a minute before that, get into trouble, and turn around and do it again, several times. He often hurts himself or puts himself into dangerous situations by playing with things that are CLEARLY not for him, like a plugged in curling iron or a breaker box for the air conditioner.
I'm very concerned about him, and I think he needs some change or help w/ this behavior. He has allergies and slight asthma, where he is on Nebulizer treatments daily plus Zyrtec. I have tweaked w/ those meds, taking him off the treatments to see if there was a difference, and I could not tell a difference. Same thing with the Zyrtec. I also tried the sugar test, keeping that from him, and he was still the same child as with sugar.
He cannot sit still, especially in the classroom. Where his friends are sitting down listening to a story or puppet show, he is constantly in motion. I cannot get him to have an interest in anything for longer than a few minutes. He is very talkative, yet really lacks social skills to have real friends. He calls his playmates/classmates friends, but never talks about them or knows anything about them. I cannot even get him to stand still and wait in line at the grocery store w/out almost ripping the aisle apart or grabbing everything in sight, thinking its funny.
I'm truly at my wit's end with him, and I've always kept thinking there is no way he has ADHD, not my kid, he is a boy and a very active one. But I know that something is off with him. My mother's intuition is telling me that something needs to be done for him. He isn't right, and I hate that for him and our family.
Thanks so much for reading through my "novel" and I appreciate any replies or suggestions you may have for me!
yep, you just described my son to the very last detail!! lol my first suggestion is to take him to a neuropsychologist. here is a link to the one we use. I just want you to see what they will do vs. what your pdoc will do. There are some really good tests that they can do tell you exactly what it is that he has and will rule out what he DOESN'T have. at this age that is very important. The earlier the dx the better. my ds was dxed at around 3. our pdoc called him "strong willed baby" He was walking at 6 months and running at ten and has not stopped since. He is now almost 11 years old and has a genius IQ. So, chances are your little man is a genius and right now, you will be able to help him with the right interventions. Does he sleep well? How long does it take for him to fall to sleep?
For now, try some fennel tea, that will help calm him. keep us posted and if there is any thing you need, just ask. There is NO wrong questions here.
A Neuropsychologst. Ok, I can do that. I had no clue really where to start, so I just made that appt. with his ped.
As far as his sleeping, no he does not sleep well. It takes him HOURS upon HOURS to fall asleep, even if I put him to bed at 8 pm or 10 pm, does not matter. And he doesn't sleep very well either, he will get up in the middle of the night after only sleeping for a few hours and read books or play in his room, and sometimes get into things around the house, which is very scary. He never seems rested when he wakes up and is a total BEAR when he finally does wake up. I will buy some fennel tea tomorrow!
Thanks so much! I will keep updated on his appt. w. his ped and see if I can get to a neuropsycholigist
hi agmama79 and welcome. One thing I can say is that 4 seems to be the most difficult age, IMO. Typical 4 year olds are defiant and difficult! You are doing the right things. The initial appt with the ped and educating yourself. You're already on the right path. Ask your pediatrican for the neeropsych consult. I'm sure they have some one they refer to. They can't do ALL the tests at 4 that they can once the kids are closer to 7, but it can be a starting point.
I'd like to also make a few suggestions. Start a journal. Log his behaviors and eat/sleep patterns. This will help tremendously in the future after you sort out his issues and if he does end up having ADHD.
A good behavior plan works no matter what is going on. There are a lot of good GOOD parenting books out there. Magic 1-2-3 is very popular. Many people use Ograms marble system or a variation of it. The positive behavior plans work very well. Everything takes time, so my biggest piece of advice is patience.
Welcome again!
DianeV, when my son was 4 I didn't have time to keep a journal. lmao God, I wish I did. That would have been a HUGE accomplishment all in it's self.
As for the night time scares, I have stories that will and could shock the hell out of you all. But for now I will give you some tips that will help you out with that one. I put a lock on my son's door to keep him IN and took all the dangerous stuff out to train him to stay in his room. (He thought it was a game) Put a TV in his room and let him watch it. If he has some thing to focus on while falling asleep, he might be still and fall asleep sooner than with out one. (That was our life line!) When he is asleep, put some classical music on. Our son would sleep longer with it on. (worked almost every time) Nothing sweet with in 2 hours before bed, but I would let him have a healthy snack with water or milk. That way he would be full and less restless through out the night. My son's metabolism is FAST. I'll throw you some more tips when they come to mind. But, I would defiantly go to a necropsy that will work well with your pdoc. This is the worse part of his life, it is much better after this, I promise!
[QUOTE=~ogram~]DianeV, when my son was 4 I didn't have time to keep a journal. lmao God, I wish I did. That would have been a HUGE accomplishment all in it's self.
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I hear ya! Obviously this is not always possible!
Hello Agmamma79. Welcome to the forum
As a mom if you think there is something not right where your child is concerned then its best to follow your gut instinct. There are many reasons your child is exhibiting what you consider to be unacceptable behavior and it is wise to have your child assessed by a trained professional as suggested here.
However, as you go through this journey, consider what your expectations are of a 4 year old child. The average 4 year old can be belligerent and bossy and at this age they begin to challenge authority. Most 4 year olds, ADHD or not do not understand the repercussions of their actions and their reasoning skills at this age are still very limited. If your child does in fact have ADHD then you are certainly not looking at a child that understands the consequences of his actions because these children live in the moment and due to lack of focus, do not look past their nose. What parents perceive as defiance is actually a child who acts on impulse (not looking before leaping). The defiant child does understand the consequences of their actions but they choose to do what they want regardless. The ADHD child in the absence of effective treatment does not chose to defy, they just act on a current thought. The mind set of the ADHD child is not....ready, set......go. It's ready....go! I should know. My son at that age was spider man lol
In any event, your on the right track because your taking serious measures to ascertain the reason for your child's behavior instead of procrastinating because procrastinating delays getting effective treatment. If there something not right, the earlier you get effective treatment, the better the outcome can be
Good luck and please keep us informed
The defiant child does understand the consequences of their actions but they choose to do what they want regardless. The ADHD child in the absence of effective treatment does not chose to defy, they just act on a current thought. The mind set of the ADHD child is not....ready, set......go. It's ready....go! I should know. My son at that age was spider man lol
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that is what i was thinking, but could not put it in to words. thanks for that analogy!! it fits perfectly, thanks, yet again for another great perspective!
I tell you all what, this is a FREAKING GREAT THREAD! YOU ALL ARE REALLY GREAT!
WELCOME TO THE BOARD!!! WHAT A BREATH OF FRESH AIR! STICK AROUND. WE NEED MORE STIMULATING CONVERSATIONS LIKE THIS.
~ogram~ wrote: that is what i was thinking, but could not put it in to words. thanks for that analogy!! it fits perfectly, thanks, yet again for another great perspective!
On the contrary, I think your words were very compelling and you my dear Ogram are never at a loss for words I agree that this is a great thread and all the advice being given is really super. Thank you all for being such a supportive and informative crew and thank you Ogram for sharing your wisdom with me countelss times. Your not only rasing a child with ADHD but you live it. As we say in New York " Your da bomb" Thats a good thing folks