Colleen- I know how difficult it is... but your son was overwhelmed and handled himself really well. So much better than to have had a screaming meltdown. In my opinion, you could support him at this time- this is when he needs it most from you. Who cares if he turned his back on the players and coach? Go into the field and tell the coach and/or players that your son needs a time out to compose himself. It may be hard and you may feel like the center of attention but you will be doing the right thing for your son. As the mother of a grown child with adhd/asbergers I remember what it was like- especially right before eating a holiday meal and during playoffs for my son. He is now in graduate school and is applying to medical school. He was the men's mixed double tennis champion (national) several years ago. He used to fly into furies when he played sports and he broke more raquets than I can count...
My just turned 9 y/o son had a melt down in an outdoor mall today. He was off the wall. It was the weekend and I did not give him his noon medication. He was literally climbing walls and talking at a decibal range that could be heard miles away. My husband was furious and was very negative. My first thought was to calm Jon down which I did by hugging him and telling him I would make his favorite sloppy joe's for dinner. I reminded him that he needed to work on his self control and held him in the middle of the mall while people walked around us. I could care less what they thought. My son needed me. I then asked my husband to be more positive to jon- negativity was just exacerbating the behavior. Being nice to a kid when they have a meltdown is not spoiling them- they hate it when they can't control themselves: it is exhausting and scary to them.
I would also tell the coach that you expect him to control bullying. We are our children's only advocate...if not us who will be?
Good luck and I hope things improve for you.
Randy
Thank you Randy it is very nice to hear from others who have been in the trenches.I can say I've done the same thing - granted sometimes I wish I didn't have to step in and be so socially obvious to help my son work through a meltdown, but I've now gotten over the worry about what others are thinking - adn remember that it is my job as his mom, to provide support and guidance - even if it's in the middle of a family dinner or teh grocery store.
I do what the previous poster did - I basically ignore the rest of the world around us, and physically hold him either his hand or a hug - and remind him to "calm down" and "take a deep breath" and that sometimes helps break him from the stress at the time.
Sure people will stare, but people stared at me breast-feeding too; and when my babies cried on airplane flights due to the air pressure - but, when our children cry out literally and figuratively, it is our job as parents to respond - no matter where we are, or who is around at the time.
:-)
Just think of a plan on how to handle/respond to his meltdowns, and perhaps practice a dialogue you can repeat that is consistent.
I am at a loss for this one. He started these in 2nd grade (he is now in 7th) They occur every now and then but they are bad. Pretty much he shuts down. He will put his head down hide his face. There is no talking to him he is an emotional basket case. It happened at soccer today and it was a nightmare. He was overheated, over tired and 2 kids had threw negative comments at him about being a bad player ect. The coach was talking to the team and he was sitting with his back towards everyone. All the parents were staring and the kids too. I don't know what to do and I am very frustrated that I can't help him. I have tried to guide him but I seem to fail. As his Mom I am embarased and don't even want to bring him back. he plays in a competitive division where we pay his coach. He had to try out for this team and I am afraid he might be let go because of this. He wanted to be on this team and he is capable of playing at this level