My son is 4 years old and has always been an active child. We never thought anything of it and just figured that was him. He started pre-school this week and yesterday the teacher said he seemed zoned out. She would tell him something and he looked at her with a blank stare and had no idea what she just told him.
Can a child had ADHD and not be hyper all the time? I was reading the signs of this and he has the following:
- Often leaves his seats when expected to sit. He cannot sit quietly during a meal. At home he will constantly be up and down and if we are in a restaurant he's shifting how he sits.
- Moving around constantly, often climbing or running inappropriately. Holy cow, that is him 100%. He's always climbing on our furniture or jumping on it after being told over and over not to.
-has trouble playing quietly. He talks very loudly and we are often having to tell him to keep his voice down.
-Is always on the go as if "driven by a motor". Absolutely. He's full of energy and is always buzzing around.
-He has trouble staying with the family and walking when we go places. He's always darting off or running in circles in stores. We HAVE to always hold his hand because you never know when he's going to bolt.
-Has difficulty waiting his turn.
Inabilty to keep powerful emotions in check, results in angry outbursts or temper tantrums. Yes, he has tantrums. He had one on the first day of school because another child would not share a puzzle with him. He cries and screams and jumps up and down flapping his arms. They seem to have gotten a little less as he's gotten older but he still has them at times and when he has them it's hard to reason with him.
Anyway, his teacher said that he seemed to be in a completely different place yesterday. I'm just researching possibilities. She said that maybe he's just tired but I know that he's just being himself because everything she mentioned him doing he does at home, too.
Is that something a child has to inherit from a parent because neither my husband nor I have that. So part of me is thinking that it's just the age but I don't know.
Thanks for any advice.
jenni539703.2018055556First it could just be because he is going through a change and not sure how to react to the new situation so he just wants to sit quietly and watch everyone till he gets used to it.
Now all the home behaviours you have described also fit the average 4 year old - but for ADHD it is the extent to which the behaviours occur - way more hyper than the average 4 year old and not always in control of their behaviour. In a restaurant (well its been awhile because its not worth it) my son is under the table, crawling on the floor (been talked to by staff when they almost trip on him), running around the restaurant, poking peope at other tables - he also packs a backpack with toys and books to bring and has threats that he won't get dessert, etc (nothing works).
What the teacher is describing sounds more like ADD - where there is no hyperactivity. Or because its a new situation he just isn't being himself and the hyperactivity will set in next week. ADD is mainly characterized as daydreaming when they should be paying attention. I would wait another week or 2 and see if he adjusts to the new situation. After that you can see a psychologist or psychiatrist (i do not believe in seeing a family doctor for it as they have not specialized in it) depending on if you want to be tested and go for behavioural therapy or medicine.
It can be inherited, but doesn't have to be. My parents do not have it at all, or my sister, 1 uncle was diagnosed when young, and 3/5 of his kids have it, and my grandfather is 100% ADHD but would never be diagnosed, lol.
Hi,
It's really hard to tell at this young of an age but it's certainly possible he has ADHD. Every child is sooooooooo different. Children with ADHD are like snowflakes there is no two just alike. However, there are themes that surround these children, the theme of always getting into trouble, of not listening, of not having friends (or very few), of being disorganized (what four year old is organized?). I have two children with ADHD and they are completely different. The only reason I wish my children would have been diagnosed early is that my parenting style would (hopefully) been more effective. I would have better understood about consistency, positive rewards and such.
Also, just remember that just because your child can concentrate on some things does not indicate ADHD is not present. ADHD children have difficulty transitioning into listening and learning things that are not on their radar screen. They have difficulty being on someone else's agenda and not their own. Additionally, some children can keep it together at home and when in the classroom setting with all the distractions and stimulation just fall apart. Or, it can work in reverse and they are difficult at home and are quiet and passive in the classroom (but probably not learning much). Some kids keep it together at school and save all the difficulty for their emotionally exhausted parents.
One other point to remember is that in general ADHD children do not read social cues (or non-verbal communication) very well and get emotionally lost in the school setting. Imagine being in a setting where all the people are speaking a language you don't understand and that language is non-verbal communication. Because their minds tend to focus on the wrong thing (their agenda) they miss so much of the facial expressions of people around them. Their distracted minds prevent them from understanding the non-verbal world around them and consequently many children "act out." When my children were younger (had I known about the ADHD) I would have worked with them on looking at someone's face to understand what that person is saying without words. An example is a few days ago my ds (11) was at a party and was goofing around with another boy. The boy was wearing some blow up clown shoes and my son was trying to step on the large clown shoes. The boy was annoyed and wanted my son to stop. But, my son never looked at his face. My son was focused on stepping on the shoes. Had ds looked at his face he probably would have noticed the boys frustration.
Good luck
Boy, I was going to offer some really good advice based upon the experience I've had with my son, but Melissastar and hausof4 above, said it better than I.
Paul
Paul,
I take that as a compliment because I find your posts very informative, well written and thoughtful.
hausof4