Hi, I am also wondering--how old is your son? That is important info.
As a teacher and parent, I am always pleased when parents hold children accountable for their actions. Kudos to you.
I like what you and the above poster wrote about the possible consequences with the exception that I would encourage you to consider making his Birthday/birthday present totally separate from the consequences. A birthday comes once a year. It's VERY special. It's supposed to celebrate your child's life and the year ahead. You are already doing "natural consequences" with the repairs/replacement of the drum AND the consequences of having house restrictions that sound fair and smart from what you wrote.
Good luck!
Again how old is the child? The idea of him repairing the damage in any way that is age appropriate is a good one but it must be done in love... This is a way for you to help him feel better. It sounds like this. I know you feel terrible about the drum and I am sorry I did not do a better job of keeping you safe from trouble. Lets you and I try to make this better....Okay, so here the story: My son last night at a home of a family friends got into some serious mischief, which is really unusual for him. Well past meds in his system time, he was supposed to watching a move. Apparently, he grew bored and found a cosmetics bag of one of her girls'. He sprayed perfume all over the place, but worse, put nail polish all over a snare drum and poked a pole in its skin.
Of course, he didn't admit to doing it without much prodding. We offered to replace the snare drum, which will cost around 150 (unless we can just fix the skin and then it will be around 50), and grounded him for 2 weeks minimum. He is allowed to play music, read, or do workbooks. I've also told him he can ride bike and jump on the trampoline just to burn off the excess energy. His birthday is coming up and in my fit of anger and embarrassment I told him that he had just "spent" his birthday gift. We were going to get him an ipod.
My question to the team is this: Did we go to far? Would you take away his birthday gift? He's young so obviously can't earn the money through a job, or even working for us (he does plently of chores just as member of our family for free). And, while I understand that his impulsiveness got the best of him, I can't allow him to use his ADHD as an excuse for misbehavior because the world won't...
Your thoughts?
How old is your son? My inclination would be to have him come up with a way to repair/replace what was ruined. He should be the one the come up with the plan and then follow through on it. Here are a few things that come to mind.< =text/>_popupControl(); I wouldn't take the birthday gift away, I'd make him "earn" the money some other way. I agree that the long-term consequence of the loss of the gift might be too much.
Then, after he has dealt with the grounding and the consequence, I would think about pre-emptive measures I could take next time to keep this from happening. Could he get a booster dose only when your family has a night event planned? Does he have a DS or something else that holds his interest in case the event just doesn't? Did I state my expectations clearly enough for him and does he know to come and tell me if he's bored? Lastly, I'd let him know that we could pull the plug on the event if he truly feels like he can't control his behavior. Depending on how old your son is, that feeling of controlling the situation might be enough to help him make it through the evening.