Does it ever get easier? | ADHD Information
Just venting. We had to increase ds med dose to 20 mg daytrana last week.Actually, it was what he needed. He is also having allergy issues. He did
fine for 5 days and then woke up this morning acting "out of it" again. He
does this from time to time if he doesn't sleep well. He "cycles" as I like to
call it. It is like he can't get it together in the morning and acts goofy. I get
really upset when we have mornings like this. How do I deal with my own
anxieties? I don't like how much this affects me. Does your child do this
while on meds as well? Do you have "off" mornings? Does it get better?You are so right. I know that it is my own fear. I fear about the future for
ds. Will the meds stop working? Will another issue come up? I have started
to take things one thing at a time and not get ahead of myself. But you're
right, it is my own fears and insecurities that are causing much of this
anxiety. I try to make things perfect and nothing can be perfect. I look at
everything through the "adhd diagnosis" and blame any goofiness on that,
when in fact he is a typical 8 year old. I am taking baby steps to help myself
deal with my own anxiety issues and not put it on ds or the other kids. Love
and faith are what I need more of. Thanks for your input.Babygonz... There is a website that has been hugely helpful to me. My two ADHD boys are adopted and most of the parents on this site are dealing with the severe behaviors that go with abandonment and neglect. But once I got on board and started using the paradigm with my other bio boys and even my husband, my life turned around and I am the calm joyful mom I always wanted to be! (Well mostly) The Book is called Beyond Consequences Logic and Control and there is a website of parents who are working the system to help their kids. The website will come up if you search Daily Parenting Reflections. I read it daily and it helps me stay on track and keeps me grateful that all I have to deal with is some goofiness!!!
I finally realized the only one I can change is me! I knew that of course but putting it into action is really hard!
Thank you again. I will definitely look into the book and website. BTW, I
have a little girl that is adopted in addition to my bio kids ds 8 and another
girl 5. I really appreciate your help. Any other suggestions, let me know. I
have been reading inspirational bible devotions nightly and it helps me a lot.
blmoretti, I was going to reply to her with "I feel the SAME way!" and then read your post. While I can comfort you, babygonz, by saying that I have the very, very same anxieties...blmoretti offers sound advice. it was so calm and NICE feeling to read your reply, blmoretti. Seriously. I NEEDED that!
Babygonz, I don't know why you and I have the feelings of anxiety that we share...But I can tell you this, I'm learning that you have to fight ADHD with CREATIVITY! These kids are so fun and creative and imaginitive...that's why her reply makes SO much sense to me. I'm a yeller (not the old one ha ha 
sorry, I had to) due to my stress. It takes control. So, that leaves me with guilt and then that leads to more negatives...Is that how you roll, too??? But when I stay calm and even get creative, I see more positive results. It's true. It's hard work and I am learning that we cannot, CANNOT, be lazy parents to our ADHDers. It doesn't mix and they get nothing out of it. Nor do we. So, I'm with you!
am trying hard to change. Yelling is never a good way to start the day and I
really don't like to yell. It doesn't get you anywhere. It creates too much
stress in the house. I am going to start being more creative as well. I am so
glad you both posted. It really helps me. I tend to be a laid back person
that likes it quiet in the mornings. I really have to get over that!! I also
want to implement a reward system because the kids are always asking for
things. Not sure what to use. Any ideas?
rewards systems are the best, you can teach all kinds of things and the child always wins. Even non ADHD'ers. My younger child is highly motivated by the idea of getting a new Webkinz. She came home yesterday and her was very excited as her friend (who is having MAJOR behavior issues in school) gets a new Webkin if she has 5 days in a row of with no bad news from the teacher. So she thinks this is a great idea, but since "I'm good in school if I have 20 good days" I can get one too 
. Pretty savvy!!
Anyway the point is you can do what you want, earn points, tokens, marbles, cash whatver you want. They can then cash them in for whatever you want, extrascreen time, later bedtime, prizes ANYTHING. Helps reward positive behaviors and teaches them about saving up to get something "better"........my neighbor used pennies with her daughter. She earned them for not tantrumming, compying....etc., etc...all kinds of behaviors (with an ADHD'er only do a couple of behaviors at a time). Every Friday she got to pick from the "box of treasures" or save her pennies. If she got 40 pennies she got to have a friend over for dinner. Then she lost pennies for certain inappropriate behaviors. So however many pennies she ended up with at the end of the week was directly related to beahvior.
Diane V39707.588125Why do you think it effects you so much? What are you afraid of? I know in my family there was no choice about being responsible and reliable. I believed I would never be loved if I did not live up to some unspoken standard. So for years when my kids were goofy and unreliable it made me crazy and angry! Today I have learned that it really is just my own fear talking and all kids are goofy some of the time (Mine more than most!) I just go with the goofiness. My son won't get dressed? I try to steal his clothes. Mine mine! He steals them back and dresses laughing while I try his socks on my nose. Running late and no body is moving toward the car? Look out the window and tell them the neighbor spy is watching and sneak out the door! "Look out! There she is! Duck down now, run, in the car quick! Everybody down!"It all works so much better with just love. You child lies? Ignore the lie, and find out what is so wrong that he would lie? Oh honey what is wrong, you must be so afraid. come here, lets sit and find out what we can do. Love never fails and when you child is safe and secure in that love the behavior they use to protect themselves goes away.