how to handle 5 year old’s tandrums?? | ADHD Information

My daughter, who just turned 5, has been having very vocal tandrums, (which include screaming very loudly) often (but not always) when she doesn't get what she wants.  These frequently happen in public places; they often start in stores and continue to the street.  I ignore her during these times and never give in to the issue at hand during the tandrum.

Needless to say I get many "looks" from people when I am in the throes of ignoring her.   Whatever I say, the tandrums generally run their course of about 20 minutes. Needless to say, these episodes are very tough on my nerves!

At 5, this behavior is most age-inappropriate. I've had talks with her when she is calm letting her know that this behavior will NOT get her want she wants, and she seems to understand but then it happens again (and again).

Any suggestins would be most welcome.

Thanks.

Joan

 

I think you're doing okay.. My 6 year old son used to have the very same tantrums. He would scream his lungs out, sometimes to the point where he would vomit because he wasn't getting any air, and putting so much strain on his throat. I was told by his mental health worker, as well as various psychologists to ignore it, but with an addition. If he did it on Monday when we went somewhere, then the next time I had to go to the somewhere, he was not allowed to go. I told him that I had to go, and that he was staying home because last time we went somewhere.. "describe the tantrum", and since it is unacceptable for him to act like that, he had to stay home.

He would be much better on the next outing, but of course, by the time the one after that came around, he'd pull the same thing. But it's normal. You just have to make sure that you NEVER reward a tantrum, that you always explain why it is unacceptable afterwards, and that you ask why they acted like that (the reason) and if possible, explain what a better alternative to an outburst would have been.

Sometimes kids keep up with the same behavior because they don't know of any other way.Tantrums are a hard thing to handle. You are doing great in not giving
her what it is she wants. With my son, who is only four, I tell him if he
acts out in a store he won't go back with me the next time. He loves to
go to the store and that is a major thing to him. I remind him if he starts
to misbehave in the store and that usually gets his attention.

You can always use a reward system as well. If you are good at the store I
will get you an ice cream afterwards or something of the sort. It doesn't
have to be an expensive prize or a toy or anything, just something to let
her know you are happy with her behavior and will reward it if she does
as she should. I have found sonic, or the option of picking out a popsicle
at the frozen sections is great.