Bugger!! Now what do I do? Help. | ADHD Information

Hi Sanane,

Welcome. I know how you feel and barely know what to say. I have known about my ADHD for about 3 years now (I'm 40) and have tried just about everything under the sun and as of today, I am out of control and feel terrible.

I've gone to a GP, two psychiatrists, and two psychiatrists who specialize in ADHD--one was a reference from the Amen Clinic in California (USA).  I have tried conginitive behavior therapy, nutrition and supplements, exercise, anti-depressant/anti-anxiety meds, and finally stimulants (Ritalin and Adderall).

Ugh...I'm exhausted. I'm still lettting people down. That is my main problem. I'm letting people down at work and in my personal life. I oversell and overbook myself and then cannot seem to stop procrastinating and avoiding everything to save myself.

I have had periods of very good times. It usually involved outside pressure and seems to be made better in general when I am exercising consistently and watching my blood sugar (hypoglycemia).

One particularly distressing thing is my propensity to gravitate toward drama. It's so hard to even admit that. But, I'm discouraged that I probably am real interested in men that are mischievous in some manner and that I'm doomed.

Stimulants work really well for me to think clearly, but I still have a hard time not just twirling off into things like....well, reading this website for one, while I should be completing a project that I promised today and here it is 11:30 p.m.  See what I mean? 

I want to feel good about myself too. I don't want to let people down. I want to be upstanding and have integrity and be known for quality work.

I'm sorry I don't have better answers. I struggle every day and my mother tries to help me too...she really understands my struggles and does know that I am a good person who is trying to figure this out. That helps, because my brother just thinks I'm pathetic.

I really want to be a methodical, reliable, rational person...I really do. I hope I can find a solution, and I hope you feel less alone in this.

bb

It does get better is really the only thing I can offer. I was officially diagnosed with ADHD 4 years ago (Age 24) and also got on meds at that time. The meds have helped immensly but I've still got a lot of ground to make up.

I think the later in life you get treated the harder it is to cope. Of course I've had ups and downs along the past 4 years but it seems every year I learn a bit more about myself and this disorder.

I'm in the U.S. so don't know much about what is available in Australia. Although I'm optomistic about your chances of finding a knowledgable specialist over there. Seems like half the people I've talked to online are from Aussies, so you are in good company.

I haven't been able to change my behavoir without drugs so can't offer much help on that end. I have been (slowly) able to change my behavoir with the help of meds though. I'm on Adderall now and it has been a life savor, it slows me down enough that I can think clearly, and follow through on my ideas.

Irrevocably self-diagnosed ADD (yesterday 15 Dec 04) at age 52. Seems I have wasted half a lifetime trying to manage stuff I apparently had little control over. Brilliant!!! I feel like kicking someone's head in or getting totally drunk - knowing full well it's a complete waste of time.

Everything I have ever done, learned, achieved and built I have done with my own blood, sweat and tears, with no help from anyone. Not parents, not teachers, not friends, not peers - no one ever pointed me in the right direction. No one ever said, are you ok, do you need help? No wonder it was so bloody hard with malfunctioning grey matter to boot!

For the first time im my life I am completely disappointed in myself. I should have known something was not quite right. I keep thinking how come I did figure it out. Bollocks!!!

Just made an appointment with my trusted GP to arrange formal tests etc to quantify the problem. I have some questions for those in the know please:

1) Who is the leading authority on adult ADD - anywhere?
2) Which (if any) university in Australia leads the research field in ADD / ADHD?
3) Is the medical option worthwhile, ie time & trouble vs potential outcome?
4) Ideally, I want to change my behaviour and habits without drugs. Is this realistic?
5) Is all this going to cost a fortune in time and money?

I really don't have time for this new learning curve! I've already got far too much on my plate. As Henry Kissinger said, "There can't be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full".

I have never before whinged about anything in my life, so I'm not going to apologise for spitting the dummy here. Somehow, I think you'll understand.

Thanks
Hey mafia!
Last message was meant for sanane.
I would be grateful if you could forward it on (don't know how to cut and paste once posted!).
many thanks,
monk.Thank you all for your posts.

I have got over the initial shock, the self pity and the anger. I have also read more about ADD than I ever wanted to know.

I am now at the point of getting the inadequacy of my grey matter quantified. This will hopefully help determine what I need to address the disability, and decide on the optimum balance of habit change, lifestyle change and, if absolutely necessary, the level of outside assistance that may be required in the form of quacks and pills.

I'll get back when I know more.

Thanks again.

S