Hi all.
I have just registered here and can tell that it is a wonderful community. I look forward to getting to know you all.
I hope I am posting this in the appropriate place. I suspect my daughter (age 9) has ADD and am struggling with how to best proceed in getting a diagnosis, etc.
Following is the long elaboration on this situation, copied from another board that I posted it to before I realized that board was not very active. My apologies for the length! :)
The Background: I strongly suspect that my DD (age 9, 4th grade) has ADD. (I am ADD myself and observing DD is like watching myself.) I have not pursued an official diagnosis yet though I've suspected this for a while because she was not having problems in school. Home is chaos, but she has been doing well with school. I knew that a diagnosis would require "life disruption" in more than one area of life.
However, she has now not only gotten 'worse' at home but is starting to have problems at school, and I feel it is time to seek help for her. Her school problems so far are not severe, but I can see them headed that way. DD is very intelligent and tries very hard to be conscientious, but her ability to keep everything 'together' at school is slipping. School has been in for a month and she has had to go to "study hall" (do homework during recess) because of forgetting to bring her homework home 4 times, and she has brought home work that she did not complete in class 5-6 times. She is reporting problems staying focused at school as well. (She says this is because she is tired, due to falling asleep late, but I suspect this is most likely still related to her suspected ADD. We have a calming bedtime routine and put her to bed at a 'good' time, but she takes a long time to fall asleep. I am the same way. She can't stop thinking about things.)
DD has also had to re-do assignments twice because she turned in something horribly sloppy (her handwriting has always been atrocious). Her teacher could decipher enough to tell that she had done a good job on the "academics" of the assignments and was nice enough to let her re-do for a better grade. Homework is becoming a problem because she is frustrated that she cannot remember multiplication facts that she just 'learned' the day before.
These issues showed up occassionally during her K- 3rd grade years, but not on a consistent level. DD loves school and is very motivated to stay 'on task' there.
The problem: We brought this up with DD's pediatrician on Friday at her annual checkup and were met with, basically, an attitude of "ADD- her? How silly. She gets straight As". I was so kindly informed that ADD was a learning disability and that DD was not having problems in school (she's gone to this pedi her whole life and they have usually been great, very involved, and know a lot about her past). I explained that I realized a diagnosis required "difficulties" in more than one area of life and that this was why I was bringing it up. I explained that I have ADD and recognize many symptoms in DD. I attempted to explain what she is like at home and how similar issues are now cropping up at school. I even tried to say that I knew things were not "bad" at school yet, but that I just wanted to get the process started, before things got worse. I tried to say all of this, but was cut off with a "yes, but" every time.
Because they could tell I was annoyed, the office gave me teacher evaluation forms and said I could have her current and past teachers fill them out and come back for a follow-up later "if you really think it will be worthwhile. Oh- and bring her 1st term report card. That will tell us what we need to know".
My dilemma is this: Do I go back to the pedi once I have the forms done, or do I look elsewhere? If so, where? [I was diagnosed by a psychiatrist just a few years ago, who was "shocked" that I had not sought help previously and deemed me a "poster child for non-hyperactive attention deficit"].
I want to be careful not to overreact and act as if I am a professional myself. I am wary of the fact that I should not diagnose DD myself, as I am not a doctor. No matter how strongly I see that she struggles in the same ways I do, the possibility exists that something else is going on.
I'm concerned that her teachers will not indicate any problems when they fill out the forms and we'll reach a dead end. I suspect her current teacher will report "issues" but her previous ones may not. She has always been so dedicated to staying together at school.
That brings a second question--- if her teachers do not indicate "cause for alarm" on their forms, should I drop it? If no 'real' school problems exist, does ADD exist? If a tree falls and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound? ;-)
I feel strongly that DD needs assistance, even if she is "doing well in school". I can see how it is becoming a struggle for her to do so, not to mention that her life at home is so difficult. I try my hardest to teach her the "coping mechanisms" that I have drilled into my head over the years, but well, let's face it...I am ADD too and have enough problems of my own following them. LOL (But it's not funny...) DH is not ADD and is supportive but has a busy work schedule as well as some (minor but tiring) health issues so the bulk of managing DD (and myself- hee!) falls to me. I am really beginning to feel that the time has come to try medication on DD. If for no other reason than helping her get more sleep at night. Her inability to calm her mind and fall asleep has progressively gotten worse and I think that explains why things are starting to get worse at home and starting to show up at school.
If you have made it this far, I thank and commend you. ;-) If anyone has any advice on how to proceed, I'd greatly appreciate it.
my suggestion is get a neuropsych referral and have her evaluated by a neuropsychologist.