Confused/Frustrated.. | ADHD Information
I'm just not sure of what to do.. I have anxiety as it is and the thought of putting my son on meds is making me crazy. Ugh, let me start with my name.. I'm Nicki I have 3 kids 6, 5 and 1. I'm a single mom for the time being my husband won't be home until Jan 09 so I'm doing this alone right now.
My son who's 5 was just diagnosed w/ADHD today but I feel like I was pushed into going by his teacher (he's in kindergarten). I mean I've always known he is "busy" and has some behavioral issues but the thought of him being on meds is honestly more than I can handle. Apparently his teacher says he's on the go constantly and has a hard time following directions. He was born with muscular torticollis and didn't talk until he was like 2 and at that time he only said maybe 10 words. His vocabulary grew in the next year 10 fold and he was in speech/occupational therapy for fine motor as well. His writing still isn't great he has a hard time holding a pencil/crayon etc. I can't help but wonder if the behavioral issue is from his frustrations in not being able to hold the pencils right? Maybe it's not ADHD maybe he's just giving up because of that? I just think I should probably explore other avenues before I say yeah it's ADHD! KWIM? Ugh.. I'm so conflicted.. mom's/dad's I welcome your advice and guidance. We go for bloodwork tomorrow, my poor baby I feel so guilty and keep wondering what I could have done to stop this from happening to him.
ETA: When I talk about the frustration from him not being able to hold a pencil I mean he gives up on the task at hand out of frustration because of that. He starts walking around his classroom. I also forgot to mention his doctor prescribed him Focalin XR 5mg but I can't bring myself to give it to him.. I'd rather have him the way he is than risk heart problems or seizures like on the warning sheet the pharmacist gave me. (4 pages of overwhelming stuff)
Nicki197639720.8889699074Hi Nicki, welcome. First off, you couldn't prevent anything. Second sounds to me like you're doing great and doing everything right! I'm just wondering who did his evaluation? What kind of doctor? Also, ALWAYS get a second opinion if you are uncomfortable with any diagnosis. Second, you do't have to jump to mediation immediately even if the diagnosis is accurate. Lastly, if it is, it's not the end of the world.
Now, breathe, and start reading and talking. Talk to the doctors, research ADHD. Know your options. Start a behavior plan. Research shows children do best with medication along with behavior modification. He is only 5 and you have plenty of time. No one wants to give their children medication. NO ONE. You need to feel comfortable (maybe nervous, but comfortable) with your decission. You don't have to decide today and whatever you do decide, you can change your mind, that simple. Also try not to get too freaked over those inserts, go online and look at the risks of anything, Tylenol, Benadryl, cough syrup...............
Nickie,
My son didn't talk until close to kindergarten, he started to jargon around the age of 3 ish. We were in Early Intervention for speech and sensory integration. My son has trouble writing with pencils also. He had an OT help him at school, all paid for by our town. We had to go to the school and have them evaluate him. they found where he needed their help.
Since the teacher is "offering" her opinions, have you had a full/complete evaluation through the school for him yet? You need to request this in writing and follow the legal process of the # of business days for them to complete it.
It sounds like he needs an OT for writing and other areas. My son probably could have benefited from a PT, but I didn't know any better.
When it comes to medicine, my son was diagnosed before he turned 5. I didn't medicate until he was just shy of 7. My biggest regret, I feel very guilty because I made him suffer for my fears. He was labeled, made fun of by children, parents and teachers/staff. All because of my ignorance/fear of meds. He suffered because of me
the best thing I ever did for my son was to medicate him. He is now 11 and success both in and out of school. We have some troubles in the social side of life, but things have improved since he entered middle school.
Please educate youself on medication, for the sake of your son. If it is what he truly needs, then reconsider it. people will use the comparison of eye glasses, would you deny your son glasses or insulin if he was a diabetic, both are medication.
Medication actually save my son. If you son is truly adhd and the diagnosis is accurate, and he is having some difficulties, why make it worse? Help him!
If you still aren't sure he truly is adhd, then re-evaluate your son.
I am sorry this is so long, but I have been there. I may have a husband living with me, but there were times that he was of no help. I know how it feels to be alone through all this.
Please keep posting. Best wishes and let us know how things are going for him and you.
And have the school evaluate him for an Occupational Therapist for his writing. Like our school told us, eventually they will be able to type everything on the computer, unlike when I went to school!!
Beth
Nicki,
I agree with the previous posters and won't share my thoughts on meds. What I will recommend is to find a family therapist to add to your team. You've got a child with challenges that may not fully respond to your normal parenting skills. A good family therapist will give you new tools to parent in those tough situations. Then based upon the effectiveness of your new skills your therapist will help as an impartial observer of your childs behavior and your responses. If ADHD is present, a good therapist will let you know.
Unfortunately, ADHD/ADD manifests itself in many different ways and is often confused with other conditions. So, Besides having a second medical opinion, consulting with a family therapist will only reaffirms whatever course of action you choose.
Finally, you mentioned that your husband is gone for then next couple of months. Upon his return, a therapist will help reintroduce him into the family unit. Can you imagine what will happen to all of your behavioral systems when dad comes home and has to re-establish his role? The kids are going to be a bit confused and their behavior will probably reflect it at school.
Good Luck
Paul
Thank you ladies! I appreciate your advice, my son had literally been in school 3 weeks and his teacher was immediately saying he had ADHD. His pediatrician who he's been going to for 3 years and has seen him thru all of this is the one that went ahead and prescribed the meds. She does believe he has signs and symptoms but she also thought for the longest that it might just be behavioral. I'm not so sure that it's just behavioral and not ADHD at all at this point. I have had to work so much to support them that maybe he's just acting out because he's in school then daycare from 6:45am-6:30pm. They see my child more than I do which is awful to say but I have to work. I work so much and can't take the time off to get him the care he needs with OT/Speech (he now has a stutter - but it too is getting better). He does need glasses and has them but he refuses to wear them most of the time because people make laugh at him he says. I told him they're just jealous they can't wear them. I know my posts are scattered but that's how my mind is moving right now! 
ETA: I've decided for now to get him back in OT/Speech and probably counseling and see how it goes from there then I'll consider meds if he's still having trouble.
Nicki197639721.2805324074