Hello,
I am sitting her crying like a baby reading your posts. I am taking my 6 year old daughter for an evaluation on Saturday and am so sure that the dr is going to want to put her on meds. I have been researching and reading forums (some horror stories) and just want her to be ok. She has always been very active, always singing and bouncing, she is very sweet and sensitive and wants to be everyones friend...she even invites children she meets in a store to her bday party!! she has no problem joining in playing at the park with other kids or anywhere for that matter. In kindergarten she had trouble staying still, would disrupt the class by humming or tapping feet and some kids did not like her because of it. now 1st grade and I am already in daily contact with her teacher (who has been very patient and helpful) but I am afraid with 32 kids in her class and private school she will not last long. All day I have been researching, wondering if maybe there is a holistic approach, I have read about bio feedback, supplements, allergies, I am overwhelmed!!! I can';t imagine her being calm and not constantly moving!! she sits nice and plays alone, she is smart and getting 90's and 100's in math and spelling, and reading far better than I could imagine, she is just always so dramatic and out there. I just can't explain it. I always thought of it as silly or goofy behavior, more like a boys behavior. I have a son too!! she is giving me trouble when it comes to doing her homework, which I know she is more than capable of fininshing it in minutes but drags it out for hours at times---hadwriting she hates having to keep in lines and 9-3 letter words could take forever. It is so frustrating and one can't help but think what have I done wrong.
Welcome my*jewel. I would say all of us on the message board have experience your same feelings at one time or another. I know myself when my son was diagnosed I cried for days and questioned what I had done wrong. Now a year later and continues research I know there was nothing I could have done to prevent it. I do know I have the power to improve my son's quality of life by medication. It was a very tough decision but the right choice for us. For a year prior to the diagnosis my sister, who is in the medical field kept asking me if I ever thougth my son had ADD and I always said no he is just all boy. My son sounded like your daughter. I will tell you the first couple kinds of medicine did change his personality but now that we are on Vyvanse he is back to his "normal" self just less impulsive and a little calmer but he still has his cute funny personality. Remember knowledge is power and this message board will help you keep your sanity from time to time.
HI, thanks for sharing your story. Your daughter sounds alot like my son. We did a ton of stuff (diet, occupational therapy, behavior counseling) before taking the leap to medication. It was a very difficult decision. My husband was very against it. But here we are 1 year later, and finally, my son's real academic ability is shining through. The meds don't numb his personality or turn him into a zombie. His job is to do well at school, and the medications make that happen. Wow, 32 kids in a room at a private school! That is unfortunate. I was told that in a class of 18, my son would be okay, but in a class of 22+, he would be a troublemaker. No way to change that? My son's private school has helped us set up a great IEP, which made a huge difference. Don't ever think that you have done anything wrong. Adhd is a neurological disorder. You as her parent have the responsibility to find the tools to help her reach her potential. And thsi board is just one of the many tools out there. Welcome on board.I was horrified aty the thought of meds but we did it anyway and it helped Wyatt feel what "normal" feels like. (I know that's a controversal word but it is just easier to describe that way)Once he caught up in school we began to explore alternatives and now we are med free. If I had to start again I would do the meds again. We were able to see his potential and it helped us figure out which alternatives were working. I hope that makes sense. It is scary and overwhelming sometimes but you have to remember that it isn''t life threatening and there are many more sucess stories than "horror" ones.My son is not on meds. It's not automatic. His doctor has two requirements before he prescribes them, 1) he must take a dip in his academics and 2) he must not have a change in his ADHD symptoms if he changes his physical environment. As long as those two things aren't happening then it's up to the school to help him learn focusing techniques. I'm not against medication, but if he can learn, for instance, when he's having an "ADHD moment," that can't hurt.
That stated, remember, if medication is prescribed it's because your daughter NEEDS them. Believe me, they don't just slap labels on kids anymore, and they don't medicate them because it's easier than helping them figure out how to do it on their own.
Hang in there - you're doing what your daughter needs despite your fears. That's being a good mom!
Thanks to everyone for the great advice and encouraging words. I already feel somewhat empowered that I will figure out what is best for my daughter and she will be fine. It has been a huge help expressing my feelings and reading everyone elses posts. To Wyatt's Mom. just curious I already decided that I would put her on meds if that is what is recommended and will persue all other options to try and help her so that the meds might not be necessary down the road. what worked for Wyatt to help him so he did not need meds? thanks
The same thing obviously doesn't work for everyone and some kids really need their meds so I by no means want to imply that I have the answer. That being said...he takes 100mg of Rhodiola (not indicated for adhd, this affects dopamine reptors, helps with focus yada yada) You can do a search for it. He only takes it on school days. The big thing we are doing is the Chiropractor. If you search Chiropractics and adhd there is some interesting stuff but don't let them tell you they can cure her. When we skip appointments we all notice he goes backwards a bit. He's more impulsive and can't focus. Anxiety is an issue. We also do B vitamins and as much organic and natural food as possible. No additives or preservatives. It's really tough. Yesterday he went to the movies with the rec. He ate candy and drank coke even though they were supposed to limit him to popcorn and water or juice. Last night he jumped on his friend and hurt him pretty bad. So, we have to be strict about it. He's been off meds since the end of the summer. He is in 3rd grade and the lowest grade on his report card was an 89 in social studies. Everything else was 93, 94, 95. We did hit the teacher jackpot this year though and he is tutored twice a week.Jewel, your daughter sounds so much like my son! Welcome to the forum.
First of all, it is a symptom of ADHD that children with the disorder do better in situations that are new or where they are allowed to do only what they want or like to do. I was astounded by my son's behavior when he started school because he was always so interested in what he was doing at home. Unfortunately, school can't always be about just what they want to do. They have to be able to attend, or focus.
Second, I would caution you about what you read on the internet. So many people have so many different agendas, you can't be sure that you are getting an unbiased opinion or truth. Really check into who or what is putting that information out there. When I brought up what I'd found on the internet with my son's psych, she said that these meds had been around for decades in one form or another and that if they were actually that unsafe for children with no pre-existing conditions, then they would be gone. Look how quickly VIOXX and Fen-Phen (sp?) were yanked. If you do your due diligence and cross all your t's and dot your i's before you start meds, you can feel that you are doing what is in your daughter's best interest.
Finally, please don't question what you did to "give" your child ADHD. I know it's hard and sometimes I still think "Did I take something I can't remember when I was pregnant?" or "Was I exposed to a chemical or toxin? Maybe I should have quit work as soon as I found out I was pregnant. Did I have a drink before I knew? Was I too stressed or yell too much or did I make God mad?" None of that is helpful and only gets in the way. It's like questioning why some children are born with cancer or diabetes or CP or any other affliction. There's a certain amount of grief for the loss of what you thought your child would be like, and then you just have to get on with it and stop playing a blame game. It's what you do now that matters.
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