there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with you.
No situation is absolutely perfect in all aspects. We have to decide what is best overall.
We moved my daughter this year to a fully SPED program. It is housed wihtin a public high school, but all her classes are with kids with some sort of special need. We know we're giving up some on acadmeics by doing this, BUT for the overall pciture and the daily incorporated life skills and social skills along with a strong vocational program it seems the BEST enviornment for her. She is thiriving so far. She (at 14) has already begun the work piece (and is getting a little pay), she's made friends and is comfortable with the kids and the staff. She has even shown interest in a boy, which FLOORS me. Her friends have been here for a ocuple of years, but in the regular school environment she was WAY too self conscious and ignored so she act silly and babyish. Now she's beginning to shine (and have a teen attitude ). I LOVE seeing her with peers, and enjoying herself. She LOVES going to school now.
My overall point is to take it all into consideration. Academcis is obviously important, but for some kids (like mine) the social and life skill pieces are too. She'll never make it academically for college so voc is our best option anyway, now they'll help her learn work skills and money management skills. Our role is to provide them with the tools to become as independant an adult as possible.
Your a mom. You went through alot with your son and where he is, with you, you know he is safe and learning things. The toughest thing we do is let our children go, so they can grow. Think of it this way, in the long run he is going to benefit from the social interaction with all the new people and this will only help him as he grows older. And if he doesn't do well and needs to be homebound again, you know you can do it. In a way this will give you the strength to help him with going to this school. I would suggest the first day he goes to school do something at home that pampers you or an activity that you haven't been able to do since he has been home. Make it a special day for both of you.I think that I know deep down in my heart that both of you might be right. It is just that I have seen what can happen to my son in a school setting. In first grade he had to be hospitalized in a pediatric psychiatric hospital after her spent a week in the hospital just to get him undercontrol and weened from all his meds. He was hospitilized because he could not take the teacher constantly having a power struggles with him, and always feeling that everybody at school hated him and that he would be better off dead. After he came home from the mental hospitilized he did better. The school changed his teacher and he did good in second grade on the new meds. Then last year for the whole first semester he felt he was being hated by his teacher and they had a huge physical confrontation. So we put him on homebound and he has the heart problem going on, and cant take any form of stimulants. My fear is how in the world can they handle him with out meds. Trust me it is very difficult, but I love him enough to make it happen, while keeping his self esteem up. I am not so sure if they fail him again that he will be okay. I know that kids are resilient but my little man has been through enough. And I really love having him home with me. But I also dont want to become his crutch, I just want him to know that I love him and will always be here for him. When we ask him what he wants, he says he wants to stay with me. When his school counselor asked him if her would like to go to the special school he starting crying. His therapist has tried to ease him into the idea of a transition but the only thing that happens is that he is very stressed out later.lethy proud mom39725.2938425926I can understand his fear and not wanting to go. He doesn't have a very good memory of school. I wouldn't want to go if I were him either. I would ask him to try it out for a few days to see how it is. I would ask if you can stay and observe him there the first day. That may make him feel safer. If this is a school that is for autisic kids it isn't going to be anything like public school that he experienced before. The hurdle is going to be getting past his anxiety and fear to give it a chance. this whole environment is going to be totally different. My daughter went with me for the intake interview and tour. We talked with them and saw both classrooms they felt appropriate for her (they have 8 total in this school). She then went back by herself for a half day. I bet you could do the same in increments. Go together for an hour. Then have him go back alone for an hour. Then again for a half day and build up to whole day. I am sure they will work with you. It is going to be an adjustmetn for everyone for sure.