Thank you all for your suggestions. I know it will take patience. He has what is called a "strats" class 7th period with his ESE teacher who helps him, he can finish unfinished work and gets rewarded for any task done. He has extra time to do all assignments. But none of this is helping. He has excuses for everything, today his business teacher said he was off task all class. Well, Chase tells me he was already done with business assignment and working on a geography assignment!!! True or false?? (he hasn't mastered deception quite yet, I don't think.) So what to do? punish him or not? How will I know? I used to say "I will pack his backpack everyday & anything else he needs to succeed in school because he is too smart to fail for disorganization." but now I think, I can't hold his hand forever. and responsibility has to start somewhere!!!
BTW, I have a 7 yo daughter without ADD and she is a whole 'nother type of person-- very organized, coordinated, etc.
alot of people say "it's just boys" or "just his age" NOT!!!
Thanks for all the replies. It helps to hear other people's stories.
I agree, it isn't just "boys". I also have a 10 year old non-ADHD gifted boy and he is soooo easy compared to my 13 year old. He is organized and when I explain the process to write a paper he can do it and do it on his own over the course of several days. And then 2 months later do it again! He is so different than my ADHD gifted 13 year old. It definitely isn't a "boy" thing.Since your DS has such a high IQ, read some books on gifted children. Some of his behaviors may be more related to his "giftedness" than his ADD. My DS (now 13) was diagnosed ADHD when he was 5 and gifted when he was 8. To this day, if his head wasn't connected, he would leave it somewhere! I didn't give much thought to the giftedness. HE was in a great gifted program and was on meds and was doing great in school. In 6th grade we moved (terrible gifted program), puberty kicked in, not sure meds were working, b@#%ch for a teacher, etc. I started researching everything on ADHD and also giftedness. The gifted stuff has been a real eye opener. I also found some things on visual-spatial learners that was very interesting. Kids that have ADD (as well as other LD's) and are gifted are called "twice exceptional". That is another term you can research. If you want more info, let me know I can recommend a bunch of books. Good luck!
ETA: I also read some things on middle schoolers in general and when puberty begins, many kids this age become ADD-like (forgetful, etc.). So I figure for our kids that do have ADD, their ADD symptoms seem worse! Some of it is just normal puberty.
Greyhoundmom0339728.2465625The article by Michael Phelps (yes the swimmer) mum in this forum helped me a bit the other day when i was feeling like I was loosing the battle with my son. Yesterday I even managed to sit next to him whilst he did his homework, a first, and I was able to compliment him on his handwriting and tell him it is worth writing slowly for it.Not sure what to do or where to turn. My 12 y.o. son has been diagnosed ADD since 2nd grade. Since then his father has seen him less and less...he continues to 'forget' homework even with and IEP in place and help at school...and restrictions! He almost failed last year but since his IQ score was so high they let him pass. this year we started ok and now have an F and 2 D's...all for missing homework! He is so clumsy, very whiny, lazy. so very frustrating. He scored very high on IQ, but can't remember to hang up his bath towel. We tried a psychologist, but that got us nowhere. I wonder if a group therapy would be best. We need to learn how to work together to help succeed. any advice much appreciated!
pixxee1339727.8119097222
Hi- typical adhd behavior- impulsive and not organized. The school should help you with this- even to the point of having extra time for your son to complete assignments in school so he doesn't have to worry about paperwork and carrying things back and forth. If that is not an option- let the school email you his assignments and have two sets of books for him- one for school and one for home.
I know the bath towel frustrations!!! NEVER has my son hung his towel unless I stand over him and tell him to hand it to me.
Hope some of the suggestions work.
Randy
Does your son have extra days to do his work? Mine has 2 extra days and now going to extend it to 7. If he is in middle school see if the special ed advisor there has a study class. My son's middle school and high school have this and it helps alot. I would ask the teacher's to email or send home class assignments. I would see if you can get that in iep. I am going to pursue this with mine. Mine is a freshman in high school and it does get a little better because you don't have alot of puberty going on, but it is always something. Give him incentives to get work done. If like mine money motivates. Mine has started leaving towel in his bedroom, I will not pick it up from there so he has to yell for it at end of shower. He has been getting it atleast back in the bathroom the last couple of days.