Help with my 4 year old please | ADHD Information

Hi! My name is Jo. I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 7. My mother put me on the Feingold diet and it worked wonders. Though she does say that she would consider meds now since there are so many more choices available. Back then there was just megadoses of ritalin.

Since birth everyone has called my middle daughter my mini-me. It isn't only because we look alike. We are exactly alike. I have had suspicions about how much we are alike since she was a baby. But now that she is 4 1/2, it has become all too obvious. I recently changed our diet and that has helped with her impulse control. Now is the usual 4 year old insanity as opposed to the all out crazed behavior we had before. It was like she simply couldn't control herself and was totally irrational. At the same time, I could see how sad she was about what she was doing. It was hard to watch.

She is in a Montessori program. I have observed a few times and it seems that even though her behavior is much better, she absolutly cannot focus long enough to complete a task, even a short one. She is completely distracted by every little thing going on around her. She is clearly different than the other kids in the room in this regards.

I am wondering what resources are out there to help her at this age. I am not interested in meds at this point(not that anybody would put her on them at this age) and I know getting a diagnosis won't happen for a few more years. We are continuing to work with her diet to identify more triggers. But beyond that, what can we do to help her? Any advice would be great! Thanks!
Spiffymom39742.4773032407

hi spiffymom. I hated 4! Worst age IMO. Well I have a now 14 year old, and that's proving to not be all that fun either !!

My biggest advice for behavior modification is consistency! Baby steps, rewards, directness, consistency.

Ograms marble system on this borad works great for a lot of people. Some version of this should help tremendously with behaviors and discipline. The key is over reward positive, BUT be sure there are consequences for the negatives too. The positives just have to outwiehg the negatives. So say the behavior your working on right now is staying in your seat for dinner. You start with her staying there for say 5 minutes and if she does it without you telling her YAY!! Act like she just got student of the month and reward. If you use marble she earns them. If she doesnt make 5 minutes she loses marbles. Once mastered, move it to 10  minutes, then a whole meal.....like so. Some beahviors should be non negotiable like hitting. That should have a significant conseuqence like immediate (but brief) loss of privelege, like for one day. Tantrums, no go. If you freak out, you go be alone, no discussion. When calm then talk. No debating this one either. Then every time you catch ehr in a situation she normally would tantrum or hit or react negatively and she doesnt make sure she knows you picked up on that and reward her with the moon!

 

Yeah..I am not fond of age 4 even now that things are better.

Thanks for pointing me in the direction of the marble system. It looks similar to what my parents did with me when I was a teen except their system was on paper. This is much better since it is tangible.