Hello Everyone!
I read most of eveyone's posted concerns and replies. I am an adopted mother of a 15 year old Teen that 's currently on my wits and ends of the same issue about STEALING, LYING, and everything else. We adopted him at age 13 and the therapist had Ok'd that he is clear to be adopted and he is doing Great! From the very first day he stepped into our home, he had lied, deceived and stoled from us and other places, with out us knowing, (for 2 years) untill recently. My teen would look at me straight in the eyes and say "MOM, I SWEAR THIS TIME...I AM NOT LYING! and even have tears running down! All along he was lying and stealing! We (my husband & I) have done rewarding, phrasing, taking priveleges away, discussion, role play and he is currently on Adderal and seeing a therapist, also an in home therapy twice a week and it seems like it's getting worst! He takes everything the wrong way! If he hears comment or something about someone else about " OH... my kid have done worst or toping it off! He gets in it his head that iit is ok to do what he's been doing! It's Sooo Frustrating! We are waiting for a referral to get him rediagnose because of compulsiveness! AND STILL WAITING!! lol
This kid of mine is very manipulative, he will sympathise w/ you and act like he is understanding what you are saying to him and even agree w/ you and then turn around and do the opposite!
I do feel sometimes "WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?" How come I can't reach this boy???? How can I make him feel that we love him and care for him?
At least my chest has been lighten up a little from reading everyone's post and comments. "I AM NOT ALONE!' THANK YOU 2 ALL!!! KEEP STRONG!!
We have just started the Lying Stealing phase and my DS is 10. His therapist says he acts like a preteen already. I have no magic answers for you, we are going to look at his medication with his psychiatrist soon.
Teens w/ ADHD usually (not all of them) use their disorder to their advantage and manipulate the situation. Does anyone looks at it that the parents are being emotionaly abuse?
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I don't have any answers for you....my son is only five and we don't have any of these behaviors. Still, we all have our battles and frustrations and knowing you aren't alone is one of the biggest emotional boosters I have found.
It sounds like he has some major issues--perhaps stemming from early childhood--and it may take more than what you have been doing...new diagnosis etc...and more therapy to figure it out. I don't know.
What I do know is that this is a wonderful place for support and encouragement. I will be praying for you all and your family. If you need an ear, feel free to PM me...I'm only a lot.
hugs
Vicky
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Thanks for the ear Vicky! God Bless
I just wonder what has he been through? He wasn't adopted until he was a teen, I am sure the years before that weren't so good. I also wondered if he had services in place to help with his adhd, like meds, an IEP or 504 for learning, social skill classes, love and support wherever he was living, etc.
I wonder if there is trauma and still uncertainty in his eyes, along with wondering about being loved, since he again was adopted as a teen. I am sure he has been through A LOT, along with having ADHD to top it off.
You are a godsend to adopt him!! Keep posting!
I don't have any answers for you....my son is only five and we don't have any of these behaviors. Still, we all have our battles and frustrations and knowing you aren't alone is one of the biggest emotional boosters I have found.
It sounds like he has some major issues--perhaps stemming from early childhood--and it may take more than what you have been doing...new diagnosis etc...and more therapy to figure it out. I don't know.
What I do know is that this is a wonderful place for support and encouragement. I will be praying for you all and your family. If you need an ear, feel free to PM me...I'm only a lot.
hugs
Vicky
all I can say - is I sort of have the same issue. I adopted both my kids at age 4 & 6 from foster care. I assume that is where you adopted as well. First thing - remember these kids went through a lot - they had to survive and did by any means. Even though he has been with you 2 years ( that is the same amount our kids have been with us - btw) he had 13 years of misery and no consistency. This will not be solved overnight.