I need help | ADHD Information
I was totally against medicating my son until we had tried everything else and were desperate. the first day on the meds (Concerta), I picked him up from school (1st grade) and wondered whose child I had!!! He was my same boy but it was like someone flipped a switch. His teacher was amazed and told me it was obvious I had given him something because he sat still and did all his work. Later the concerta caused too many side affects and we have been switching meds. Now his psychiatrist is not sure he evan has ADHD but no matter what happends, I won't doubt the effectiveness of medications. It's just a matter of getting the right one and all the doctors can do is go by trial and error. Everyone is afraid of the meds until they see how well they work and how much happier your child can be.
[QUOTE=GavinsMom]My ex is his dad. He doesn't think our son needs to be on meds. But of course he doesn't have him all the time.
[/QUOTE]Do you have legal custody? If so, the dad may not like it, but it is entirely up to you whether or not he is on meds and how much. If dad only has him on weekends, then it's ok if he doesn't take meds when he's with him, when I had my ds I had him on meds every day, but now that his father has him, he only gives him meds on school days. Whatever works best for your situation.
Do you need your ex's agreement? Do you have your son during the week when he goes to school?
My son is ADHD. We, of course, have our good days and bad days. Lately I have received concerns from my sons teachers. Even though he is taking his meds every morning, he will still have problems controlling himself and will be all over the place. He will get very frustrated and angry.
Does anyone have some suggestions on what we can do to help him, especially when he is in school. I'm worried he will become to much to handle by the teachers and they will suggest a special school for him.
Thanks so much.
Pier
I suggest talking to his doctor. I know that I saw this when my son was not at the correct dosage of his medication. Too little or too much may cause him to display these behaviors/symptoms. In our case the dosage was too low. Good luck!
Thank you. I suggested to my ex-husband to have his medication possibly changed and he said there is no way he is having the dosage upped. I don't know what to do.what is your son taking? Unless it is strattera, they are NOT weight or age based, they are success based. You level off where you are most successful.
My son started concerta at the lowest, 18 mgs's I believe and within 3 months he leveled off at 72mgs, for 3 years - no med increase!
What med is he on and what dose? And why is your husband against it? is bio dad involved? ( I am sorry if I am being too personal , I just want to help!)
My ex is his dad. He doesn't think our son needs to be on meds. But of course he doesn't have him all the time.
My son takes adderal, and I believe it is .10 milligrams. I will have to check. He also takes an allergy med at the same time, and I have wondered if that would counter-act the adderal.
This is all so hard for me. I just want my son to be able to sit still in school, not be so antsy and not be so difficult for his teachers (and me)
I would also suggest possibly changing the medication that he is taking.When my son was on Adderall, it made him very aggressive and angry.
Concerta is a stimulant that you may want to look into for him.
Ask your ex "If our son had diabetes would you be o.k. with him taking
medication for it?" It's the same thing. Maybe that will help drive home the
point.
Hang in there, we have all been there.
Nancy
Thank you so much Nancy. Your point is good and I'm going to bring that up when he picks up the kids this weekend.
Pier
You also might want to point out to your ex that if your child is going to be on meds, you should at least take the trouble to make sure the med and dose are the best for his needs. Just giving a pill without tayloring the med and dose to your childs individual needs makes as little sense as giving an antibiotic (which only works for bacteria) to a person with a viral infection. These kids are individuals with individual issues and different treatments work for different kids. Maybe someday there will be a test to tell us which med and dose will work best, but for now it is a team effort between the family and the doc, with input from the teacher.
You might want to work on a positive reinforcement behavior modification plan with the teacher to help with the behaviors at school. These work best when the meds are working and help the child learn the appropriate behaviors. A sticker, check sheet or any token type plan might be helpful. THe marble plan by ogram (stickied at the top of the board) is a good example of this.
vickie39749.9483333333Thank you for all of the comments, like I said before I will take all that I can get. I am currently reading a couple of books that are really helping . ADHD and Me is a real good one . It is an insite on what its like growing up with ADHD . So again thank you . SWIMMING here we come wish us luck
Hi Melinda, I just want to give you a big hug. You have a found a wonderful place!
My son is in 6th grade, turned 11 back in June. He takes his meds because we give them to him each morning before he starts his day. Lots of mornings, we are waking him up and giving them to him and then letting him go back to sleep.
We began when he was in first grade, the end of it but really worked the med "thing" during the summer to get the right med for him.
Can you give him his meds in the morning? And I stress, you give them to him, not just think he is going to take them on his own. Does he realize how much they help him? Have you talked to him about why he doesn't want to take them?
May I also ask, why back off the homework thing? My son has a routine that he gets home from school and starts the homework before anything else. I do give him some down time if there is a lot. My son plays sports so he wants his down time to really be after practice.
I think our adhd'er need more support and supervision. So many here have noted that theirs, and mine as well, are behind in maturity.
I hope this helps!
Regards,
Beth
Thank you for the hug !!!! By the folder comment I meant the homework in and out folder. Sorry to confuse. Brandon was diagnosed the end of his first grade year. I watch him take his meds in the morning but he has to take a lower dose in the afternoon at school. When I ask him why he doesnt like to take his meds all I get is an " I dont know " My hubby and I have talked to him about why he has to take his meds and at that point he agrees that they help him . He has tried to play soccer but he seemed to get distracted . Now he wants to join swimming . I just found out that Michael Phelps is an adhd child . Brandon just loves Michael . So I am going to try to use that fact to our advantage. Maybe then he will have someone to relate to . I am so confused as to what to do , he goes to therepy every 2 weeks and she helps out alot.Thank God for her. But like I said we need a support group to help us learn how to deal with this as well as his" wonderful teenage years " LOL again thank you for the hug
yes, those teen years. I am fortunate that my son listens to me, more than my husband, his dad. There just happens to be that bond.
Do you work or are you home to supervise the meds and homework?
Why can't his 504 stipulate something with the folder like the teacher is to remind him to turn it in? Think of something to help your son. I know you mentioned that it is a joke with the school following it, a lot of people say that. Where do you live?
My son is on a 504, here in MAssachusetts, but they do follow it, especially up at the Middle school.
We had so many needing daily planners that the whole class now gets them.
Hang in there with the rest of us!!
My schedule is usually either 7 am to 1 pm or 1pm to 6pm .I or my hubby is home to make sure that he takes his meds in the am and to check the homework in the afternoon. Everything is a fight with him lately. At lot has to do with his bio father not helping any . He goes to his house every other weekend and hears that he doesnt need his meds and that it is just a boy thing . When there is a problem all he does is yell and scream at him . My hubby has been his hero in more ways then one. He looks up to him . Always there for him when he needs him . And even when he doesnt . We live in Indiana . We are able to email the teachers but nine times out of ten they dont reply. At times I am ready to pull him out and try to home school him but I quickly realize that I cant do that . So see I told you I needed help.You know the sad thing is that it is genetic and his bio dad may be an adhd'er himself. I am glad he idolizes your hubby. His bio dad is doing more harm than good.
I do know that we have puberty in the near future, if it hasn't already started and that changes things as well.
Keep reading the posts and email those questions, we are always around.
I work overnight so I am around days. I am currently at work now.
Nice "talking" with you!! And swimming is awesome for adhd'ers. That is great to get him swimming!!
Hello to all fellow ADHD moms and dads. I am new to this board and I too need help. As I have read these posts I have been able to relate to each and everyone of you . My son is 13 years old and in the 7th grade. His bio father has been fighting me each and every step of the way down this long and very winding road. He doesnt think that he needs that meds and tells him this and totally confuses him. I have tried Stratera , Ritilin,and is now on Addreal XR . It seems to help him ( when he takes it ) We are now going through the lying stage ."I took it"only to find out later that he didnt. Sorry to babble but I need help. His grades could be alot better , he is a very bright young man . But tends to get lazy and bored. Does the home work but doesnt turn it in . We have tried the folders , as long as I or my husband stays on top of him it works and as soon as we back off to give him alittle responsibility it goes down the drain. I need some help. I cant do this on my own anymore.
We have a 504 in place but tryng to get the school to inforce it is a hassle and a joke . I have read books and gotten alot of advice there . Help !!! Please Melinda