It may be that your heightened awareness of ADHD (due to going through the diagnosis and treatment process with your son) has helped you noticed issues with your daughter that you would have otherwise explained away. Not recognizing the sublte clues is how many girls with inattention are missed. I am glad you are able to help both of you kids be the most successful they can.
Dealing with my younger daughter's ADHD and severe problems it caused, helped me identify issues in my oldest that I would have otherwise missed. I was at first reluctant to talk to the doc because I thought I was being overly sensitive to the issues, but treatment has been absolutely wonderful for my oldest. She is excelling in school and successful because she can take full advantage of her gifts without the ADHD dragging her down.
Well, I pretty much just got the word that my daughter is ADD. For those you who know me and my story - I have pretty much only talked about my son (8 3/4) with ADHD & ODD. Both my kids are adopted - bio siblings. My daughter is now 6 almost 7 and the inattentiveness has been an issue for awhile but I just got back from her therapist and going over her evaluations. Part of me wanted to think it was just adoption issues but I think I secretly knew it wasn't all of it.My 12 yo dd has ADD and is on Daytrana. She had alot of trouble learning to read. Her 2nd grade teacher told us she couldn't teach her because she did not pay attention. We did not start meds until 6th grade because the school worked with her and we tried Feingold (diet). She learned how to read at a summer school for kids will reading problems. She still can't read out loud unless she has a chance to read it to herself first. She has a 504 that helps witht things like that.
As far as weird friends go, she have very few and only one is really ADD. The others can only take her in small doses I have noticed. She never gets sleepover invites.
It can break you heart but I don't know what to do about it,
I have to admit - she doesn't have any issue learning things. She was behind in reading this year b/c I believe her teacher last year tolerated her bad behavior b/c she is so sweet. She had to catch up but is now doing really well reading. She still doesn't have great handwriting, some letters and numbers are backwards and she sometimes switches her b's & d's. But I have been told that is normal.
My daughter's issues are more in how she reacts to people and rules that need to be followed. If you praise her - she goes so over board in her excitement - she looses the positive behavior ASAP! She lies about everything! She is friends with those who are hyper, loud and manipulative. That is the part that worries me the most. Also, she has to be reminded everyday, all day on the daily rules of school and home rules.
She is a people-pleaser too much, I believe - that part worries me too b/c no one should feel like you have give them something for their love. That will take a while to fix that one (b/c I believe that is related to adoption issues) She was removed from her home @ age 3 and didn't move in with us until 18-20 months later so she lived in over 5 foster homes.
I have an appointment with the dr this Friday - my husband won't be happy but this time I am putting my foot down and not waiting until her behavior is so bad or she is so much trouble at school, or that he finally realizes she needs more than just re-direction and play therapy. I know he has her best interest at heart but he is just so against medicine on a whole this is just difficult for him to swallow (pun intended). At least now he believes the meds have been a good thing for our son - who btw is doing beautifully!!!!!!!
That makes perfect sense!!! The one child she hangs out with is a very hyper, loud girl. And my daughter can not hang out with her enough.We have an odd assortment of kids that hang around our kids. I had also read an article on relationships where people with ADHD are attracted to others because those who lack the impulsivity are "boring" and the boring peole do not put up with the impulsivity after a point.
There are some good books and articles about women and girls with ADHD that you might look into:
Newmom, you are living my life (future tense) My 9 yr old son is doing great on his meds, and we just had our annual assessment with specialists for my 3 yr old daughter (both adopted at birth). While they did not find any specific adhd behavior, my radar is on high alert (she was exposed in utero). You know what, I'm ready for anything. After years of doctors, therapists, etc, the prospect of my daughter having adhd or any other neurological disorder does not freak me out. It would be great to dodge a bullet here, but I am realistic. My husband fought me on meds for our son but now sees the positive impact they have had on his behavior. You probably already know that it is estimated that 70& of adoptees have some form of adhd. Both my kids are healthy, wonderful, and a joy (most of the time) to parent. Good luck.