It is normal to worry about all kinds of things in pregnancy. Your hormones are probably making you much more emotional about your son's diagnosis than you would be otherwise (not that we weren't all emotional when our kids were dianosed). However, that being said, my Grandmother only gave me one piece of advice during my pregnancies (she wasn't much on advice). She told me that the only thing that I could guarantee is that even though I was having two boys, they would be two very different people. Boy was she right. My kids don't even look alike!
Your children will each be their own individuals, for better or for worse. That is not to say that they may share some traits. The second may or may not have ADHD like his brother. Whoever he is, he will be unique and present his own challenges. AND, you will love him no matter who he is, with or without ADHD. You will take each day as it comes, jsut as you did with your first.
You have so many things to worry about right now, try not to worry about things that you can't control. Love both of your children for being the unique individuals that they are/will be. Take a few moments to enjoy your pregnancy. Worry about things that you can control right now, like car payments and what is for dinner tomorrow.
That being said, my ex husband's new wife is pregnant. My older son (non-ADHD) has gone on record stating that he hopes that the new baby doesn't have ADHD, because he doesn't think that he can handle another sibling with it!
Congrats on your pregnancy. Enjoy it. Worry tomorrow.
Being pregnant is stressful enough! No need to stress about No. 2. Enjoy the baby time and all that goes with it. And don't get down thinking that No. 2 might have the same issues. My oldest, a son who is 6, is my ADHD'er. My second, a daughter, has no such issues. But, of course, I love them the same and see the amazing but different things they both bring to my life. I don't know the statistics on No. 2s, but even if he does end up diagnosed down the road, think of how much better prepared you would be. Of course, I say think positive that everything will be just fine! :) Sending lots of positive thoughts your way!!!I was in your position last year. I can remember being so excited to find out I was pregnant. But then I would have days that I was in tears, crying to my husband "why did we do this to ourselves, we shouldn't be having another, there's no way I'll manage". I now have an 11 month old daughter who is wonderful. So different from her sister. Quiet, content, happy. Far from perfect, she certainly has her moments, but when you're expecting the worse, good seems like an angel!! Try not to stress too much. I think no matter how crazy the 2nd one is, you have made it this far with the first, and it has been a learning experience. The 2nd will seem so much easier! thanks guys so much. I over worry as usual.I am 6 months pregnant with our second son. Although we are over the moon about our healthy pregnancy so far I cant help but have my mind wander over the fact that it could be very possible I may get 2 kids with ADHD. I know I shouldn't worry about such things in my state, but how can I help it. Our son just got diagnosed with ADHD a week ago. And not that that diagnosis was a shock to us per-say, but now whenever he does something a little crazy, i look at it in a different light as I did before. Now I just see the ADHD. It's so sad. I need time to adjust to this and realize that he is the same child now than he was before we got our answers. But now the questions start to happen....what if my next boy has is? what will I do with 2 children who have it? Am i going to be able to handle this for the rest of my life? I am scared to death. Both of my sisters each have a child with ADHD. One is now 12 and the other is 9. I see what they go through with the schools, homework, friend issues, low self esteem issues, all the changing medications to help them, etc.etc....
any words of encouragment would be a great help to me :0
thanks for listening as always!
Oh i hear ya!! I worried my 2nd entire pregnancy and my 2nd son's first 3years that I would have another autistic child. Now, 3.5years later (he's 6.5yrs old now) that son is probably going to be dx as ADD.When I was pregnant with my 2nd son my oldest was only 2 and a half. Everyone had me convinced that my oldest was just going through the terrible two's. But to me this was extreme behaviour. Like the terrible two's on speed. When I gave birth to my 2nd son I couldn't even take care of the two of them together. It was awful. I ended up having to send my 1st son to daycare. That's how bad it was.
The good news is that my 2nd son does not have ADHD. BUT, he tends to get wound up pretty tight when the two of them are playing together. And we've had our moments. But overall it has actually helped me to have my 2nd son. Raising my oldest has been very diffiuclt, but having my 2nd son has allowed me to see what motherhood is like with a "typical" child. Without him life would probably be pretty miserable.