New, need input, support? | ADHD Information

I feel for your situation, and can relate. Six years ago my son was
diagnosed with ADHD. My husband was against giving such a small boy
(5 years old at the time) medication. We had been experiencing enormous
problems with him both in and out of school.

We took him to a therapist specializing in adhd, and he helped me to
explain what the benefits of medication would be. After a few sessions,
my husband agreed to try medication. After a few weeks he asked me
"WHy didn't we do this a long time ago?" Medication alone is no magic
wand, but it has sure helped my son a lot, especially in school.

Take Care,
Nancy

Unfortunately we waited after being diagnosed just shy of 5 to medicate. My son was teased horribly and labeled from kindergarten through 1st grade. We started the meds just before summer break of 1st grade. THey truly have saved his life. He was very impulsive, immature, silly, goofy, but always smart. The kids and parents, and teachers at school were cruel, he is still trying to lose the label, but it has stuck for some.

I have such guilt listening to my husband, who is adhd by the way, of not to use meds. OUr son suffered due to our own fears. I feel horrible to this day, it still bothers me.

Now my husband agrees that we should have started sooner. He never would have been labeled.

If your son could truly benefit from them and be successful, without changing his personality, and he isn't successful with behaviour mods, etc, then I support meds.

Just a mom who has been, lived it, and still feeling the guilt.

What courage you have to follow your convictions despite the lack of support from both step-father and teacher.  Yes, you take a gamble but you'll never know until you try, so follow your heart. 

Unfortunately, meds are only part of the solution.  You and your husband are probably finding out that normal parenting skills aren't working.  So your husband is frustrated and you're confused.  In order to help your child, you both have to be onboard by responding the same way when a challenge occurs.  If you cuddle and your husband disciplines, then the message is garbled and your child becomes very frustrated. 

I'm sure that your husband loves your child very much but is uniformed about ADHD.  Find a family therapist who specializes in ADHD.  He will help both of you to distingish between ADHD behaviors and normal discipline issues.  The therapist will also give you tools to help deal with his ADHD challenges both at home and in school. 

Good luck and keep us informed.

Paul

 

Hello there,

We just wanted to wish you the best of luck. We have our good days and our bad ones around our home. Truth be told Im pretty sure my ex husband and I may have divorced over issues involving my children and the meds issue. But I did not say that to scare you...just to let you know that deep inside even though you are scared YOU will know what's best for them. And boy do we ever make mistakes, huh? Everyone who posts here has been so helpful to my family and if you ever need to talk we're all here.

Best wishes

B.J.

Good luck with this tough journey. With luck the first med will be a good choice and you (and the step dad) will see good results. Keep us posted.

Hello all! I'm so glad I found such an inspiring board. I hate that there are more people out there coping with what I am coping with. I guess I really  just need to get it off my chest.

I am a mother of 2. B1 is 6 and B2 is 4 (almost 5). I have the most amazing children. However, their bilogical father has SEVERE case of ADHD. Even as an adult. I think this had a lot to do with why we divorced. Now that B1 is in 1st grade, I see it. He is a VERY sweet boy, very sensitive and SO very smart....even to his detriment! However, this year has been terribly hard on him. He's constantly in trouble, won't stay in his seat, is very impulsive, wanders the classroom, doesn't complete school work....etc...ya'll know what I'm talking about!

So, I took him to his pediatrician. B's step father (E) is VERY against medication. He swears that it's behavioral and just needs an 'attitude adjustment'. But, I know that this is not my son. I know him better than this. He WANTS to do the right thing, he just can't seem to get it together. So against  E's wishes I filled a prescription for Metadate ER. I'm going to start him on it this weekend to make sure he doesn't have any bad side effects.

I guess you could say I'm scared. I've heard good stories and bad ones. I've heard of parents that wished they had done something sooner instead of waiting until High SChool. I just want B1 to reach his full potential. I know he can. But, his teacher is very unsupportive, and his step father. I guess I'm just asking for a hand to hold while I'm trying to better the life of my child...especially since I believe B2 will be going down this same raod very soon...

Thanks to all.

 

Boy do I feel for you.  Having a child with ADHD is hard enough if you're married to the child's father let alone being married to a man who isn't.  I do this as a single mother (was divorced before ADHD was an issue) and it's overwhelming.  I'm sure you must feel torn between helping your son and not hurting your marriage as your husband must become very frustrated.  Follow your heart (as you are already doing) and things will work out.  Your husband should know that although he doesn't agree with everything you do, he needs to support you and your son...that's what being a partner in life does, right?  (how should I know when I can't even get a date!)  But I feel for you.  And it can take a long time to find the right med.  Don't give up!!! Good luck to your family!!