HELP | ADHD Information
I am a mother of an 8 yr. old who has been diagnosed with ADHD for two years now. My son is the sweetest boy deep down much that seems to have gotten lost in all the clutter lately. I just want my little boy back.
"T" is an absoultly brillant boy which makes all of this that much harder to deal with. I have to be a *itch drill sergent with him 24/7in order to get him to act even somewhat right.
He has now been on eight different doses or medications and now has been diagnosed with anxiety and is on Zoloft for that. I don't know how much more I can take.
When he is on the meds he is somewhat managable however, off meds I go completely insane. I can't even begin o imagine what it is like for him. I want him to have as much of a normal life as possible but when his homework takes him 5 hours and should be done in 30 minutes his quality of life goes down dramaticly.
And to top it all off I am basiclly doing it all on my own. His step dad works ling hours and gets home about the time I am putting the kids to sleep. I am so spent right now I don't now what to do. I really think there should be a support group for parents with ADHD kids.
I am looking for help on how I should handle his behavior and punishment. I have tried everything and nothing works. It seems like grounding him to his room works the best but lately he has been lying somuch about ridiculous things that it seems as if he never leaves his room. That is not healthy. I have tried taking things away but that does not affect him at all. When I punish him with more chores he enjoys it. And if I take away allowance it's as if he's thinking there is always next week.
I tried the reward system but he rarely met the few requirements I had to get rewarded. You know like homework, eating, bathing, washing hands, and not peeing all over the seat. So I gave up on that. I don't know what else to do. I want my little boy to get his life back. Any advise is GREATLY APPRECIATED. I look forward to hearing from you.
Asset
Have you thought that there is MORE going on?
What about his meds, are they REALLY working? If they are, then maybe he needs a short acting dose in the afternoon, late even, to get you through homework and the evening.
My son takes 90mgs of concerta and 1mg guanfacin/tenex. IT lasts him all day and the night. we are fortunate, however, others do give a boost in the afternoon.
My son is also a pain, I really hate to say that, but it is true, before his meds kick in. He is not the same child. But once they take affect, he is awesome.
I would think about the diagnosis, do you agree with them? Is there something that hasn't been diagnosed even? You could always reevaluate. Then think of the meds he is on - are they HELPING??
Remember, success is what you are looking for. THere are SOOOOO many meds to chose from, that there is one out there for him.
Also, don't worry about the stims. doseage, he is too young to be that high a dose. The level the child should be at is where they are successful, otherwise, what is the purpose? The only meds that are weight based are the blood meds, the ones that build up in the system. concerta (ritalin), adderall, I know do NOT. Strattera does, so that is based on weight. My son was on 72mg of concerta at the age of 7. He now is at 90 which was increased when he was 10.
I hope this helps. If he is having a lot of anxiety, it must be hard for HIM, remember that.
Hang in there!!! 
My 6 yr old ds is a totally different child, or rather, his real personality has been allowed to come out and flourish. We have him on 10 mg focalin xr in the am and 5 mg in the afternoons for homework time.
Last year he never smiled, he constantly said he was a bad boy (from always being fussed at in school and at home), he had anxiety problems and developed some obsessions that led to us taking him to a child developmental pediatrician.
He was diagnosed with aspergers and adhd. You can go back in these forums if you want to follow our journey. It was long and hard , but the people here really supported me. There are no support groups where I live so this forum was and is my lifeline.
We did not get any help from the school (formally) but his 1st grade teacher and the guidance counselor have been his angels this year. I can't believe he differnce in my ds.
He smiles, jokes and laughs (those are biggies as I never saw him so that ever before). He even dances 
His obsessions have all but dissappeared. He now likes school and is proud of his achievements. He can ride the bus home without getting out of his seat!!! He can concentrate enough to listen and follow directions. We have been so blessed that our childs life has improved so much.l
We went through different meds and a few different doctors and school testing and alot of anxiety and grief to get where we are.
I think the biggest concern I had throughout the whole year was that my sons self esteem was being ground down every day at school and home too. He was such a sad and angry little kid.
My advice is to stay with this forum, read some past entries and keep trying to find the right meds.
Hopefully this specialist will be a good fit with you and your son through this.
I understand about the impulsivity being scary. My kids are not really bad but they have some unmedicated (for various reasons) friends that put themselves and the other kids in danger and need to be watched carefully. This works at the houses of the kids who's parents are aware of the issues, but I wonder about other places. 
Because they attract so many other ADHDers, we will always have lots of interesting kids around.
Hoping for the best.
You might take another look at a reward system. Rewards are not just the tokens or money; it is what they can buy. They can buy more tv or game time, other things that motivate him. Some of the rewards need to be immediate and not at the end of a week-time is not an easy concept for these kids.
What kind of doc is managing the meds? When things get complicated, it is best to have a psychiatrist rather than a pediatrician because generaly a psychiatrist has more experience with med managment. If you can't get good coverage with the meds for the ADHD symptoms, it might help to look into something like guanfacine to cover those times.
Vicki,
He is being seen by a pediatrician and not a psychatrist. I have been trying to get him into this doctor for over a year. Everyone in town says he is the person to see for ADHD. He is supposed to be the best.
I did try the psychiatrist thing in first grade it was not very productive. They wanted to see him every week so I set it up with the school so he would not miss so much. The first couple of visits I was there and then they did their own thing. My son got nothing out of it and even said, "What is the point in this?"
Not only that I never got any feed back from her. She said whenever she saw him she would send a note home to let me know what is going on but I never heard anything from her. I called the school and her office and the only answer I got was she is really busy with all the school kids. What about mine I wondered. Anyway, my hands are kind of tied there. That is the only place in the area that accepts my insurance and there are few doctors in this area that deal with kids anyway. I hope some day soon I can pay myself to have him tested.
I don't know if you know anything about this but I did hear that there is a specilist in Nashville. I would love to hear more or even find out the name and the insurance they accept. Also, how to get referred. I just want my son to live up to his potentioal and I fear if this keeps up he is going to get off on a bad path. It seems as if lately his ability to make good choices have been overshadowed by his compulsions. Not only that he seems to not have a filter for things that he knows are wrong. He wants it or to do it so he is going to without thinking about what will happen in the long run. That scares me the most.
I am going to try the "money" system with the marbles that is something that I have not tried. Maybe the visual aid will help him understand what awful pattern we have gotten ourselves into.
Thank you so much for writing. It helps alot talking about it. I feel better since I have been talking to everyone and please keep your thoughts and feelings coming. I look forward to hearing from you,
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thesamman,
I loved your post, I am actually on the verge of crying happy tears. What a gret success story!!!!
He has really changed, what a accomplishment that both he and YOU should be proud of!
Keep fighting for your son, he is so worth it. And look how it paid off, keep up the great job!!