Still can’t do the store thing | ADHD Information

A good piece of advice I got once was "you can't change the kid, so change the enviroment."  I was also told that there will be a time when I literally abandon a full shopping cart at the grocery store b/c my kid is acting up.  And I did, more than once.  Not to mention two Amber Alerts (doors locked and all) when my kid vanished.  Some children sit quietly in a cart, or tag along without a complaint.  Good for them, and nice for the parents.  As for me, I either shop online or late at night when they are in bed.  Will there be day when you can take him for a shopping excursion at the mall?  My 9 yr old ds is medicated most excellently, and it's a challenge.  Good luck.

 

Well we tried taking ds to several stores saturday and he had a total meltdown in the last store, that was number 4.  He's on Vyvanse 30mg and has been on it for 2 months now.  I just thought he could handle it since he is on this new medicine.  Guess not.  So what should I never take him in a store again until he's grown?  my son is 3 1/2 and it is so hard to take him anywhere, even when daddy is along he doesnt listen and runs around and touches things and gets in peoples way and screams and yells to go see what he wants..its so hard..we were told by his therapist that we would either just have to keep working at it and accept that hes gonna do that or just not take him out, and thats not possible...i know how you feel..i hope it gets betterMy 11.5 year old still gets testy if we have gone one too many places or stay one place too long.    I don't usually get a full blown meltdown as she did when she was younger, but I can tell when I have reached her limit.    Planning ahead,  setting expectations (ie. we are going to go to X, Y & Z),  snacks along the way, picking somewhere they want to go at the end of the trip out all can help.   Stick to the time frame you said you'd be in a store (over estimate).  Anytime I say it will be 5 minutes,  she nails me if we stay longer.  

The one that threw me for a loop was one day she requested to go to Half Price books - somewhere we go a ton - she had a complete meltdown when I parked at a different entrance to the mall than I normally did.    Go figure.  She was 11 at the time.
I can SO relate to all your kids with the store thing. So I'll try to write a bit about what it's like and maybe you can get some ideas on how to deal with mini-me versions

Going to a store especially a mall or someplace like Walmart is completely bizarre. It's like a huge noisy carnival and if you don't like to shop--it's worse.

I prefer the local stores because they don't play any music or bug me so it cuts down some of the overwhelming sensations. Do that as often as you can.

ADHD Brain at Walmart:

Looky all the cars. Honking, who the frell is honking? Stop that honking! Wait that's Madge's car! What's that strange man doing in Madge's car? I think the lamppost is tipping. Looks like the leaning tower of Pisa. Pizza, I want pizza for dinner, with pepperoni. That red car. I like the colour of that red car. That idiot vroooming his engine is piffing me off it smells so bad! Hey, looky the quarter pony! I wanna ride, I wanna ride and oh, I'm too big now and I hate these doors that automatically slide open, feels like Robocop with that blinking light it's staring at me, it' staring at me! One day I'm gonna get squished in this stupid door and LOOKY there's poptarts in that gumball machine and why did they paint the gumball machine red? I liked it better when it was silver--the poptarts taste better from a silver machine and I just tripped on the rubber mat and that lady is looking at me like nasty? She has red rinse in her hair. And uh, which direction was I going--do I have a bag? Left hand-check. Right hand-check. Okay, I was going IN.

And that's even before you get to the second entrance door.

A small suggestion. When I was a kid, my dad always found a "marker" in every store that could be seen from most of the store.  If I wandered off and lost them, I was to go there right away.

That way, if they lost me, they could find me at the marker. [somewhere at the front door near the quarter ponies is good] It worked.

A security desk, if there is one, might be helpful as well.

Stores overstimulate my ds. The lights, sounds, colors, movement of people. Walmart seems to be the worst. So when I take him I go right when his meds kick in (in the morning) and we make it quick. It really does help to offer a reward (candy bar or something little) at the end of the trip.

If we have to do an all day shopping (like traveling 1 hour to the nearest mall/shopping area) we plan on snacks, breaks and diversions. We let ds take his vsmile or nintendo ds. We always stop for a sit down lunch. If he gets antsy while in the mall or a big store one of us (me, my older son or husband) take him out to walk around. At the end of the day we always go to a bookstore where we can have a cup of coffee, look at books and let ds play at the train table.

I have had to walk away from full shopping carts too (lol)! But as time goes by it gets better....

Thank you all for the feed back.  I think that maybe one store breifly will do for him right now.  He does not get like this when we went into an Amish store in another state.  I think it was the light and noise level.  NNjpolive:

It' highly likely. Because I don't get weird at the SallyAnn around the corner or some of the other local shops with less lighting. They don't play music and it isn't so busy.

Also, stores that move stuff around and change aisles make me crazy. If it stays the same it's like my brain can hit the 'ignore' switch better. If it's been moved around, it's a whole new world