Questions... | ADHD Information

First, our ds is STRUGGLING big time during recess and any time that is unstructured!! We are switching him from Adderall to Focalin tomorrow morning...

But what are teachers taught about ADHD? I mean, our ds' PE coach is ALWAYS putting ds in time-out or not letting him play or complaining and I'm thinking this is such a DUH moment...isn't it? Don't they know he will need extra guidance? or does the coach even know that this 7 year old boy has this struggle and brain malfunction??? So, where's the help? How can they help us if they don't have a freaking clue what he's going through?????

Ds does not have an IEP or 504 because he tested very well...and is actually doing quite well academically. It's social problems now...you know, because it can't all be right at one time. That would be nice for him and too easy for us. Right?

Second. what good is behavioral therapy? Why does no one talk about this? We are now looking in to this for our son...and I'm just wondering if it really works then why doesn't your doctor or others with the same struggle suggest it???? Or is this just OUR life?

Why is Autism taught about but ADHD is looked at as 'lazy parent disorder'? Why do they keep picking on my kid when they know he's got a heart of gold so he MUST be struggling? Where is COMPASSION FOR CHILDREN?

I'm upset and venting...feel free not to reply but it's FRUSTRATING!! So very badly frustrating.

Our ds is waking up every morning at 5:45 when his alarm is set for 6:15. He doesn't get a full night's sleep any more. He's lost 4 of the 7 pounds he gained this summer while off meds. He's yelled at because we're at our wits ends and love him so much we feel DESPERATE. Why does he have to cry, what is the point of ADHD? WHY WHY WHY?

[QUOTE=ilovemyboys]

Hey, how are ya?

First, our ds is STRUGGLING big time during recess and any time that is unstructured!! We are switching him from Adderall to Focalin tomorrow morning...

Of course. Unstructured time means that the trains in the brain start jumping onto the tracks

Uh, might it make sense to tell the coach that the less d/s exercises the more energy the little fella has left to drive everyone else nuts?

Maybe the coach has it in for the other teachers...

What exactly is the poor kid being punished for? Throwing the basket ball in the wrong hoop or something?

You need to get out more. And I'm not being sarcastic either. Take a breather, you're getting frustrated. And frustration won't help you deal with the school.

Behavioural therapy can help assess what combination of factors will help your son manage his behaviour as well as look at what combination of factors will help the parents get through to the kid effectively.

Kind of like obedience training for dogs. The dog needs to learn and the owner needs to learn.

So, the behavioural therapist helps put together a plan that works for everyone.

Because the world views us as "bad" which is a moral judgment due to mental laziness. It's harder to look at the struggle and work towards compassion.

And we're not bad. We're "alternatively behaved"

[of course, some people don't like our alternatives!]

As well, you really need to work out some plan with the school that works better for the little fella.

What's he doing that they consider so outrageous?

I'm upset and venting...feel free not to reply but it's FRUSTRATING!! So very badly frustrating.

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He really sounds like he needs a med fix.

And you need to get some time away from all this and enjoy yourself or we will have to send big men in white coats to your house to tempt you with thorazine-laden donuts

my son wasn't allowed to go to PE in preschool - he attended a integrated preschool where children with disabilities go and receive services and, they called them "model children also attend for very little money so to Model behavior.

Well teacher wouldn't let my son go to gym. she had him sit in her class and look at a book. granted he is 4 years old, not diagnosed yet, and certainly not medicated, but he was at the right school to handle kids like him.

I called the head of all special ed. in the city, broke down in tears, she consolled me due her having a down syndrome daughter. well would't you know if DS's teacher was let go for "doing" someing illegal to another family.

These teachers who deny gym, when it is exactly what they need, are idiots!

if they are having trouble with our kids due to impulsiveness, hyperativity, then come up with a plan, seperate the class and do something that is safer for all, but DO NOT EXCLUDE THEM!!!

oh, and after that teacher was fired, which was pretty much the day after I called, my son was taking gym!

Amen!

BETHANN39772.0365740741Right on Bethann!

Of all the things too that ADHD'ers don't do very well, they *do* have lots of energy to contribute to a gym class.

How hard is it to get a kid to throw a ball or climb a rope or teach them whack a badminton bird over a net?

If the kid can't play well in a team then fine--go for gymnastics, track, jumping hurdles [trampolines are perfect] or something where they can bouncedy bounce their little hearts out without bothering anyone?

Luvmykids,

You're right. You're right about everything and I guess I just couldn't handle thinking of it all in one day!
DS started his new meds this morning, Focalin XR 5mg. We prayed together and have been for months now, so he was in good spirits.

I don't care what people say or what struggles we know they have...our kids are STRONG! I break and cry and vent ...he cries because he has a bady day and then he wakes up with renewed belief and courage. I'm so proud of him.

I do need a break...next week we are leaving on a family vacation and I'm THRILLED. I need a break but I want it to be WITH my hubby and kids doing things we all enjoy. I'm over prepared and it's wonderful!

HIs meds definetly aren't working.

Let us know how the med change goes, and remember to keep an eye on whether he needs a dosage increase.

We also add guanfacine/tenex to my son's concerta. It helps with overstimulation, impulsiveness, anxiety. It relaxes him.

We used to have trouble at lunch, recess, and the lunch monitor, she was the nastiest!! I have cried those tears myself!!

I hope this is of some help.

Metis, I was so glad to see you...have you been hiding??

You are right, I do need a break and I also needed to have a 'moment'. I stepped back out of the situation and cried where no one could see or hear me. Then, I stopped and took a look at the big picture.

Ds IS doing great academically. He IS as sweet as a boy can get. He DOES have good intentions and IS creative...and my list of goods went on and on. The frustration comes when the teachers act like they don't get him...But DS and I will prove them wrong!

He is aggressive towards others right now. If there was a spare moment in PE, ds had his hands on another child trying, in his mind, to 'play'. And at recess, he becomes too aggressive in his play and the other children show him that they're fed up by ganging up on him. Well, he's a wrestler at heart and it's his sport...although we've taught him not to use it at school, when he was ganged up on-he used it to defend himself. So, those are a few of the 'issues' the school has had. I get it, I get why they were upset with him. But do THEY get him? Do they get why he does it?

Anyway, he had a great day yesterday and we started new meds and it's just time to get him back on track. I have to be in control of my emotions in order to do that and being able to come here and spill my guts was a huge help!

We did talk about not keeping exercise/energy release opportunities from him because it only makes his day harder...for everyone. We'll see how it goes...

THANK YOU!

Educationally, teachers get very little formal training in terms of these disorders so if your child is a "special needs child" more times than not the teacher is clueless in terms of what needs the child really has. Some have the compassion it takes to learn as they go along and cooperate with parents but others who are ill informed "right fighters" still think that negative reinforcement fixes everything.

Unfortunately, testing is done based on academic needs but again, what the educational system don't get is that if the child is spiraling downward emotionally and socially, so will the grades eventually. However, I agree with the others that there definitely needs to be a med fix.

Behavioral therapy will only be effective in conjunction with effective medication. If the child is getting behavioral therapy but the medication is not effective, standing alone behavioral therapy won't work.

Because there is a stronger lobby out there for Autism so therefore there is more funding for research and it is more publicized so as a result there is more awareness about the disorder. Awareness educates. Also, painting ADHD as a "lazy parent" disorder sells newspapers and elevates media ratings

I'm upset and venting...feel free not to reply but it's FRUSTRATING!! So very badly frustrating.

Vent away mom!!!!!!! I also think you need a break from all of this. We can all relate to the frustration your feeling and it's very normal. I'm sending you major cyber hugs Hang in there!