heres my blog if you wanna read it all :) | ADHD Information

this is a little compilation of posts ive made about my little gift from god lol so if you read it all, thank you lol

my 3 year old has been a "high needs" child from day 1. as hes come barrelling into toddler hood its only progressed, not gotten better. last year we were referred to a child psychologist and she gave him a dx of adhd. we then tried to get some help for him and ended up having a 2nd eval, and that dr said disruptive behavior disorder and ODD, oppositional defiant disorder. so then we were referred to early intervention. he had a behavior specialist for awhile, but ei ends at age 3. we had him to the iu but he did not qualify because they handle more developmental issues than behavior. so, guess what? 3rd eval at the beginning of this month. the evaluator is recommending a behavior specialist and a tss aide here in the home. im so stressed out with him and this whole situation. i wish i could give you a little window into our lives. i promise you i am not jumping on bandwagons, i am not over reacting. there is a case manager and a tss aide that come to the house for my sister, and they both have said they have rarely seen this in a child this young. this is not terrible 2's or 3's, i WISH it was just that. he literally runs in circles, he hits and bites, spits, throws toys, kicks, bites himself, he cannot even sit through a full dora episode. the longest ive seen him with one toy is about 3-5 min. he throws ALL OUT TANTRUMS when he does not get something he wants. he does not sleep good at all, we actually have an appointment with a specialist in hershey on july 23rd for him. and thats just what i can think of right now. im thinking i probably need to keep some kind of journal on his behavior, but with also having to care for my 8 month old its very difficult. Now i call the place that did the eval to check on things yesterday and find out that the evaluator only recommended 4 hours a WEEK with a behavior specialist and no tss aide. Im LIVID!!! The bs is coming to the house with the lady from the agency on thursday morning. Im NOT signing anything, i want them to listen to me!

Now i call the place that did the eval to check on things tuesday and find out that the evaluator only recommended 4 hours a WEEK with a behavior specialist and no tss aide. Im LIVID!!! The bs is coming to the house with the lady from the agency on thursday morning. Im NOT signing anything, i want them to listen to me! Im very frustrated!
So....we had the meeting thursday morning. I let them know right up front that i was not happy with the recommendation and asked whet i could do about it. They told me i could go to a different agency if i felt i needed to. But the coordinator told me that if i took the behavior services through them that we would have a new eval in 2 months anyways and then i would have A's (the behavior specialist) input and report. Then i could ask for family based dervices and a tss aide if the 4 hours with A were not cutting it. Well i already know its not going to. I will play their little game though if i have to to get gfg what he needs. Also when we take him to the neurologist on the 23rd im going to ask about a neuropsych eval. Ive already got my back up about a few things that A is suggesting. We talked about reducing the amount of toys he has out in the living room, dividing the toys into 3 or smaller boxes and he can pick one type of toy at a time to play with. We are in total agreement there. But she's talking about reducing his play space down to about a 5 foot square area. Im not ok with that. We live in a very small house, 1 bedroom for all 3 of us, it was actually a garage structure that the previous owner converted into a little guest house. He hardly has room now, im not gonna shrink it! Plus she was talking about then using that space as a time out....what?! Im not going to "cage" my son! And im sorry, if you use that strategy and it works for you then great, its just not going to work for us. And as a side note im not going to move my gate between the living room and kitchen cause my 8 month old is crawling now. So we will have to see how we get along when i tell her im not using that idea. She seems a bit set in her ideas kwim?

after te meeting i had to run a few errands with my mom. For you moms who have boys who are adhd,odd,dbd, whichever lol HOW DO YOU TAKE THEM OUT?????? I wanna cry every time i have to go out in public with gfg! He wont sit in the cart, screams to be held, if we get him out he runs off, knocks things over and on and on. And its just not practical to say walk away and leave the cart sit and leave. We are 45 min minimum from the closet town with a walmart, which is where i do my shopping. Plus alot of the time im with my mom and its not fair to make her leave either you know? Gfg should not have that control! Weve brought toys with, snacks, tried getting him to help, let him push the cart.....need new ideas lol UGH

So i finally get a chance to read through the whole evaluation....its taken me this long to calm down and be able to post about it. and here's where i say ok maybe im over reacting or taking things too personal. she listed dx 1 as disruptive behavior disorder NOS, but then for dx 2 she put "parent-child relational problem". correct me if im wrong.....but isnt that what would be expected with a child like this! of course there are relational problems!! my gfg is having problems, wont or cant listen, breaks things, cant sit in a cart at a store, cant even play with other kids without there being a problem, yells and screams if he doesnt get what he wants within a millisecond of demanding it, cant sleep good, wont stay in his carseat.....wouldnt you have relational problems too??!?!?! maybe i shouldnt have been so honest about my frustration, but i thought we were trying to get help! now i feel like ive been labeled "the problem" and they are gonna be looking at me and not giving him the attention and help he needs. my mom has btdt with both my brother and sister ( bro is bi polar and sis is mild mr and adhd, ocd, odd) so shes been my biggest support with all this. she's told me we need to tread lightly here cause theyve had similiar problems with people not seeing the whole picture. i feel very frustrated with this whole situation.So.....when the lady came back we discussed the problem i had with "caging" my child....it actually went pretty ok...weve moved on and put some other strategies in place. Shes been back out 3 times now i think. Weve seperated the toys into boxes and that seems to be working out pretty well, i have a living room again lol he seems better able to focus and play independently when he only has a few things out at a time. me and the lady arent butting heads quite so much as i thought we would lol so its going ok...still alot to be seen though lol
My son hasnt been sleeping any better though and now hes having nightmares more frequently....we have an appointment with a sleep dr today and another follow up with his neurologist so we will see if we have any different answers when we come home tonight....i think my husband is slowly starting to come on board with some of this.....he had a weeks vacation week before last and he really got to see gfg in action during the times he would normally be at work lol
as for my previous blog i realized i used alot of abbreviations lol so ill list what some of them are lol

gfg~gift from god
adhd~attention deficit disorder
dbd~disruptive behavior disorder
nos~not otherwise specified
odd~oppositional defiance disorder
bs~behavior specialist
mr~mildly retarded
ocd~obsesice compulsive disorder
btdt~been there done that

think i got them all lol if not just ask :)so ive been
letting this therapist come into my home 2x a week for 2 months now..thinking were trying to do the right thing here...well nate has a re-eval for oct 7th and she gave me her eval that shes going to hand in so i could read it over...now before i post the highlights let me explain one more thing here..we live behind my parents in a small mother in law cottage, 1 bedroom, 1 bathroom, the house is actually a garage that the previous owner converted. we have lived here since weve been married..7 1/2 years. it is getting harder with both boys, but we are looking into our other options..hud, habitat, low income housing and so forth.
now..my nate has never...NEVER gone a day where he has not gone upstairs to see his grampa and gramma. my hubby works 2nd shift, 5pm-2am so my mom helps me ALOT with the boys at night. my dad is disabled so i help ALOT with taking him to apts, checking on him, running errands for him so mom doesnt have to miss alot of work. grampa is grampa lol he doesnt want to be a diciplinarian, but he tries not to let him get to out of hand.
we all try to work together so everyone gets taken care of ya know? ok so with that in mind here are some of the highlights from this f**king bitch's report

hyperactivity demonstrated appears within normal age limits

lack of appropriate boundaries allows client to manipulate
adult authorities

client has learned how to aacelerate stressors

enforcing consequences often proves to be beyond the tolerance
level of adult authorities

reinforcement of manipulative behaviors continues to be an
issue

mother becomes overly dependent on caretaking from extended
family about whom she complains cause disruption and defiance

mother has impulsive dependency needs

father, while a participant in childrearing, often gives
appearance that he enables manipulation by giving in to clients
impulsive behavior rather than addressing his complaints because
there is an underlying demeanor that this activity compromises his
own free time when not working outside the home

this is familiar to client since he is frequently exposed to very
permissive caretaking strategies to limit an adults stressors
with rare enforcement of any consequences

coping skills within both the immediate and extended family
environments are inadequetely developed

there is a negative interaction pattern developed from parental
frustrations to behaviors

ofetn the parents respond to normal 3 yr old behavior with offensive
style creating a degree of defensiveness on the part of the client

consequences are not consistently applied there are often empty threats

parents undermine each other and cloud boundaries...parents rarely
practice a unified front

i am so freaking pissed its not even funny...so are my parents and husband...here we are trying to do the best we can in a stressful situation and she comes in and twists things and makes it sound like we are just stressed out adults who cant handle one little 3 yr old! she got things so wrong...i got this on thursday and its monday and im still seeing red!! shes here for a lousy 3 or 4 hours a week! and im sorry but i havent seen her really do anything with nate...she gets him to repeat rules back to her and she does this thumbs up/thumbs down for good behavior bad behavior, but mostly she just lets him play with her box of toys and does puzles with him. im not gonna take this quietly..im gonna dispute this whole thing...but i dont want her back here. i really think we just need to take a step back and find our own way to handle nate..maybe if he gets worse when hes in school he may need help again...but until then i really dont want anyone here. and the "stressors" shes referring to...i have fibromyalgia, for almost 12 years now..i havent been doing well lately, i dont know if im in a bad flare or somethings progressing...but i still take damn good care of both these boys, my house is clean, dinner is made, im up with the baby when he gets up at night...i dont get to rest, my hubby thinks hes way more entitled because he works....but i keep going and doing what i gotta do ya know...so i guess that counts for nothing...oh yeah and all this? is on top of taking care of my 11 month old who has some small developmental delays and sensory isues...so i have developmental therapy coming every other week for him and occupational
therapy every week and of course the numerous dr's apts...but hey, im over reacting ya know...and we are all just being mean to nate...hes not hyper or oppositional...and about my hubby..yeah he can be a jerk sometimes, but he is a good dad and has ALWAYS been there for me and the boys and my family no matter what...he just doesnt like her so he tends to show his ass when she's here lolso we had the new behavior eval on the 7th..i like this psychologist and i think she really listened to what we had to say...the behavior specialist is still coming as scheduled till we get the new report, which with any luck will be any day...so nothing new o report till i hear what the new plan is or if its gonna stay the same..well the behavior therapist got the eval from the psychologist..the behavior therapist wanted to cut back to 8 hours a month and the psychologist recommended 12....so A (therapist) came in with that info and gave me her schedule for the month...by my count..and i think i learned how to count right..she is only coming 8 hours this month....so does she just get to turn around and do whatever she wants anyways regardless of what the psych says...guess so...so we continue as before with A coming in and doing nothing and telling me how im over reacting and not being consistent and so on and so on..yay for us...im at the end of my rope..dont know what to do..but guess that doesnt count since im just "stressed out" or however she put it...
There is a lot here. You needed to get this out.

I did want to mention that I also suffer from fibro and dealing with the
stress of a difficult child doesnt help at all. If you need to talk, im here to
help.