new member | ADHD Information
Hello All,I am a new member to this site. I am SO confused about all of this stuff. My son is 6 years old and has always been very active,curious, spontaneous, sensitive...he's my world. He has always seemed 'unique' in certain ways to me. He was extremely quick to start talking,learning,exploring etc. I have read TONS of information since he was a toddler as I have always felt there is something 'different' about him. He has always been described as 'busy' or 'spirited'. Last year in Kindergarten he really struggled behavior-wise. Academically; he's a wiz. The school where he attends seems to not be so well versed in children who may not fit the 'norm'. To make a long story short; he basically came away from kindergarten thinking he was 'stupid' or'bad' compared to the other children in his class as he was always reprimanded for his 'spiritedness.' We had an evaluation done with our pediatrician and they diagnosed him with ADHD. Since July; he has been on ritalin,concerta, and most recently straterra. Ritalin seemed to work well but we are hoping to get something where he will only need 1 dose a day. We are now going to start Focalin XR10mg. I am so conflicted about having him take these medications. I also see how impulsive and basically oblivious he can be to certain things that could be dangerous or harmful to him as he at times is in'his own world.". My husband and I are really struggling (understatemet; "just holding on' is more like it)as he at times feels he just needs 'more discipline' and i'm feeling the complete opposite that he can't help his behaviors. I just want him to grow to be a successful and happy person; as we all do.I have a feeling he may have a degree of Aspberger's Syndrome; along with the ADHD. We will be seeing a psychologist in December to address this. Does anyone else have info/experience regarding ADHD w/Asperger's??Like I said; I am a 'newbie' so whoever can get me started here would be great!!!Thanks for listening.
your son sounds alot my 9 yr old son when he was 6. We saw many doctors, got a diagnosis at 6. Started meds at 8. Our third med, focalin XR 10 mg, has turned out to be successful. He is the same kid, only better at school. My son is super bright, but struggled at school. His current school (his 3rd) is very proactive and accomodating. It's a journey with many twists in the path. I just found out his older half brother (my son was adopted at birth) has Aspergers, so I am watching for any signs of this -- so far, I don't see it. Welcome to the board, this is an incredible forum for parents, you will learn so much that will help your family. Bookmark it.
My son is on concerta AND guanfacine/tenex. it helps with overstimulaton, impulsiveness and helps with any anxiety.
I think the guanfacine finishes the med routine for us kinda of like the frosting on a cake. It is that important. Straterra made him depressed / suicidal thoughts at age 8.
We are still on the same med after 4 + years and doing fine. Look into guanfacine, it may help!!
Is he showing any signs of aspbergers, why the concern???
[QUOTE=dragonfly50] XR10mg. I am so conflicted about having him take these medications.What is conflicting you about them?
What is Dad's opinion of medication?
The rest of the family's opinion?
How is the little fella about taking meds?
I also see how impulsive and basically oblivious he can be to certain things that could be dangerous or harmful to him as he at times is in'his own world.". My husband and I are really struggling (understatemet; "just holding on' is more like it)as he at times feels he just needs 'more discipline' and i'm feeling the complete opposite that he can't help his behaviors.
Many ADHD'ers are oblivious to danger and social cues and such. We are "in our own world" because our brains have so much chatter going on all the time that we can be oblivious to instructions then wonder what everyone is 'going on about' when they burst out in exasperation, "I TOLD you this already, SIX TIMES!"
Emergency rooms should keep count on how many broken bones they've repaired because an ADHD kid tumbled out of a tree AGAIN, or drove his bike into a telephone pole AGAIN, or fell face first off the monkey bars AGAIN!
You can always tell the ADHD kid in the waiting room because they're running round the emergency room like maniacs [embarrassed parent chasing two feet behind] chattering to complete strangers who wish the "little twerp would just shut UP!"
That is, of course, until maintenance has to show up to extract the kid's other arm from the vending machine because s/he bought a candy bar, changed their mind and are trying to shove it back up the chute so they can get Ripple chips...[never trust us when we're quiet!]
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Discipline is like the walls around behaviour. If one parent keeps moving the wall away, and the other parent keeps moving it closer, how confusing is THAT, to a kid who is wearing emotional blinders and keeps reaching out to find the walls are moving?
No child feels safe when the walls move and a child struggling with emotional lability feels overwhelmed with panic.
This kid did not come home from the hospital with discipline instructions printed on his diapers. You can't blame yourselves for that.
Disciplining a child is learned behaviour on the part of BOTH parents. Educate yourselves. Start learning. Today.
This is YOUR Great Adventure
Bluntly, you and dad need to get your sh*t together.
This kid needs you both on the same team. The kid doesn't need more discipline and he doesn't need to be excused for his poor behaviour, either.
He needs effective discipline.
What you BOTH need to do, is sit down and work out a discipline routine that works, given your current household circumstances. I suggest looking up Ogram's Marble Method [it's around here someplace] and adapting it to your circumstances.
This will result in the family all being on the same team.
It will result in less though more effective corrections of behavior, more praise and rewards for the kid and for you two as parents have to find common ground.
ADHD children NEED routine, more than other children. It adds less brain chatter to clog up the lines of communication if they don't have to deal with too many schedule changes.
You two cannot continue undermining each other.
It's not good for your relationship with each other, or the child.
This will be one of the most difficult to solve problems of your marriage. If you both can manage it effectively--then you will come out of it great problem-solving skills that will improve your whole family
I just want him to grow to be a successful and happy person; as we all do.
That's a good place to start.
Now you need to discover what is going to help you raise this child to be a reasonably capable adult?
I have a feeling he may have a degree of Aspberger's Syndrome; along with the ADHD. We will be seeing a psychologist in December to address this. Does anyone else have info/experience regarding ADHD w/Asperger's??Like I said; I am a 'newbie' so whoever can get me started here would be great!!!Thanks for listening.
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The good bit I see here is that both of you care a great deal for this kid and are willing to make the effort for him
DO NOT DIAGNOSE.
I can't stress this enough! You will start matching up every behaviour with a symptom. You will drive yourself nuts and if you're wrong--make more errors than you need to.
Let the pros do the diagnosing then look at their professional opinion [diagnosis] and see if it concurs with the behaviour you are seeing. They see struggling kids every day and are usually pretty sure of what they're seeing.
Right now, you're dealing with an ADHD kid.
This kids are heartbreaking AND liberating. Sometimes both in less than a minute and a half
Around here--there's buckets of support for that. Use it. Some of the parents here have been through practically everything and have some pretty creative ideas and they're more than willing to help
You won't find any Brady Bunch families in this lot, so ask away!
It CAN get better...
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