30 and discovering ADHD

Hi there everyone,

I'm 30 years old and am just this weekend beginning to realise that I am probably ADHD. Having read a few other posts on this forum today, I can totally relate to Zekefreke the PhD student and his experiences through school and university. I got as far as the PhD stage, but at the end of 4 years I was surrounded by piles of paper, notes and printouts, but nothing I could staple together and submit as a thesis. The topic fascinated me, but the prospect of writing a 100 page manuscript was my idea of hell.

Since then, I trained as a teacher and find teaching the perfect outlet for much of my creativity and "crazy" ideas. The sheer variety of the job also helps keep me going. But, again like Zekefreke mentions, I can spend "all weekend" planning lessons, but in reality only do them Sunday night. I am now learning to enjoy Saturdays knowing that I wouldn't have done any of the work anyway!

Generally I feel I am coping well with the way I am but there are two things that still frustrate me.

1.) My other half loves to come over at the weekend, and laze on the sofa in the evening. I can only lie still for so long. Then I take my socks off (this has become a joke with him, that my feet are getting stressed!) - but I find it a quick fix for my restlessness. But then after another while I do have to get up and move / do something, and then he takes it personally. I do push for us to get outside and do more, but in the short, wet winter days that is less and less appealing. I was wondering if anyone else has strategies for coping in this situation? Maybe as I learn more about ADHD I can talk to him about how it affects me.

2.) The other time I feel frustration is those periods when I feel I want to do something creative/constructive.. but I never know *what*. I'll go around the whole house picking up dvds, books, magazines, puzzles, anything.. but never find anything inspiring. So, often times I have these needs to be constructive and never know what to do. Sadly, sleep becomes a shut-down mechanism I've developed and then I kick myself for having wasted that time.

One last thought that just occurred to me.. does anyone else feel this need to "collect" books, games or dvds etc because "I might be in the mood for it some day". I've got so many unopened dvds, books I have yet to read, and games I seldom play. But maybe that's just me..

If you're concerned, get tested.

DO NOT self-diagnose because there might be something else going on that's masked by your considerable intellect. I can't stress this enough.

ADHD is a complex set of cognitive dysfunctions not just restlessness and boredom.

I get the "boyfriend wants to watch TV" thing LARGE. Then they think you are ignoring them because you can't sit there cuddling all afternoon without fidgeting, walking around, or doing something else

They take it personally. Sheesh.

You sound highly creative as well. Creative people are often bored when not creating--ADHD or not. And they tend to need a lot of downtime. And some need a great deal of physical movement. It's often pathologized unnecessarily.

We will still like you here, even if you're just a whacky "normie" or have something else going on

DVD's. CD's. Games. Movies. Art Supplies. Computer parts. Papers. Strange cooking gadgets. Clothes. Dirty laundry. Craft supplies. Books. I have dustballs big enough to qualify for the vote in a banana republic.

Some days, I can't find the dog. And we're not talking about a poodle here, either.

Dear Santa--what I want for Christmas is a housekeeper. Can I borrow an elf for a month after the rush is over?

Let us know if you get a diagnosis and if so, what it is.
MetisRebel39775.4630902778 [QUOTE=enza]

Generally I feel I am coping well with the way I am but there are two things that still frustrate me.

[/QUOTE]

Welcome aboard.

First thing - Metis is right, get tested, don't assume. I have suspected I've had it since 1993. I finally got around to confirming it last month.

I'm 40 years old and looking back at a life that could have been SO different had I been diagnosed and treated sooner.

To your points -

1) I have had the same problem. I want to DO, rather than just sit, even on meds. My exes have benefitted from this because I found that giving a foot massage is often enough to tame the restlessness, but not always.

2) That need is strong in me as well. I have 2 major outlets and one minor.

a) I organize! This is nor something I can do too often but having only been on meds for 3 weeks now, its something I'm motivated to do and it helps enormously. I'm no neat freak by any stretch (I *am* male, after all

), but getting things organized makes me feel like I did something productive and it helps decrease the chaos I feel because of the ADHD.

b) My creative outlet is guitar. I started playing in July and did poorly because I couldn't keep my mind on it for long. The first 2 days on meds, my guitar playing improved more than it had in the previous 3 months. I'm not at a stage where I can improvise much but it feels good to be able to play recognizable stuff, even if it only has 2 chords.

c) Photography/Hiking - I pair these two because photography has become a major part of why I hike. It used to be just the quiet and the wonderful animal encounters. Now I find myself looking for particular angles, views when I'm on the trails. My job has me working from a company truck and I often stop to take photos as well.

As far as your need to collect, yup, know it well. It used to be books with me but I finally broke myself of it. But now its freeware games... I probably have 30 sitting uninstalled in a directory. About every 6 months I sort through it, delete probably 90% then end up refilling it and rarely play any of them. I've also got way too many MP3s, most of which I rarely listen to (but when I want a ceratin song, I REALLY want that song)

Good luck... keep us posted.

Thanks for the feedback so far! I will be contacting my family doctor this week to see how we can progress.

Photography is another thing I particularly enjoy. Not that I often get around to sorting out the final pics. And I did start learning piano a few years back. I progressed quickly with a great teacher, but since moving to a different area my playing has suffered. I don't have the concentration to keep it up by myself - I'll sit there, play the first half of the 5 or 10 songs I happen to be in the mood for at the time, and then leave it again.

I will certainly come back with news as and when I get tested. Thanks again

Hahahha I can SO relate. Jill of all trades, mistress of none

If we don't have structure/support we tend to collapse on projects. It's the need for external stimulus because we lack internal cues.
Funny thing, I thought I was the only one who had to take my socks off when I watch tv.....live and learn.
uh choygal?

I think you need to edit...your post *p00fed*
Hi,

I can relate to the need to "collect" books. I order 3 at time on line. Just today I was thinking of buying a book on "speed reading" so that I can get through all the books I bought before they are out dated.

Chogyal

Well I got to see my doctor today, but it wasn't too productive. She dismissed adhd quite quickly, and summarised my problem as a combination of organisation, time management and relationship difficulties. The only one of those she can refer me on is the relationship side of things - to a counsellor with a 3 month waiting list. The way things are going I'll probably be single by then, so it might be nice to have someone to talk to..

I know it's all to easy to get "caught up" in the symptoms when you read about any medical condition, but after discovering adult adhd, I ordered a copy of "Delivered from distraction" and devoured it in 3 days of reading. Just about everything described there I feel applies to me - except the depression / substance abuse.

So for now, I'll just keep muddling along as I do best.

a combination of organisation, time management and relationship difficulties... that sounds like issues with executive function, a very common struggle for people with ADHD. A lot of physicians still think ADHD is a childhood hyperactivity disorder, and they will dismiss any adult who comes seeking an assessment, especially if the patient does not present with hyperactivity. I would be demanding a referral to a psychologist with the experience and qualifications to assess for ADHD. That way you can know either way, rather than relying on what your GP, who may or may not have the background to deal with adult ADHD, thinks about it. [QUOTE=enza]

So for now, I'll just keep muddling along as I do best.

[/QUOTE]

Most GP's are clueless about mental health conditions except for depression which they often diagnose without looking for physical possibilities. Believe me, I worked with a whole team of them.

Go get a set of mental health testing. Even if you do have ADHD there's the possibility of an underlying 'comorbid' [now there's a crappy word

] so it's worth the try.

Obviously something is going on.

"time managment"--can you hear my eyes rolling from that distance?

Thanks for keeping me on track - this afternoon I had all but resigned myself to just accept I was at a dead end with it all. I moved to the UK a couple of years back so I'm still trying to find out exactly how I access the services I need. Not having my GP behind me seems to be a big setback, but I'll persevere!

*Watch this space* as they say..

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