new ADHD mom with questions | ADHD Information
hi my name is amanda and my 4 year old son riley was recently diagnosed with ADHD. they put him on guanfacine 1 MG which has seemed to help especially at daycare. i was just wondering if anyone would please help me out with feeling horrible bc i put my child on a med for this. i am feeling a little off about it but the fact that it is helping him makes me feel a little better. also i really need some other parents that are going through this too. none of my friends children have had this and i need someone to talk to.
thank you
amanda
Hi and welcome!Many of us have also made the difficult decision to put our child on meds. I'm not familiar with the particular medication your son is taking, but if it's helping him then it's worth it. Many kids don't get diagnosed until after they have struggled/failed for years and end up feeling horribly about themselves. By getting him help early you are sparing him that experience.
Stimulant medication has been heavily studied in children and has been found to be both safe and effective. None of us would think twice about giving our child medicine for an infection or diabetes, so why not medicine for the brain? I think the analogy I most like is that meds for adhd help the brain to focus much in the same way that eyeglasses help the eyes to focus.
Welcome Aboard amanda
Every parent and every adult with ADHD goes through that argument with themselves about medicating so you are certainly not alone!
It's especially hard for parents because the child cannot consent. So there you are, wondering if you're doing the best for your child and frightened in case you're wrong.
If the guanfacine is working, and the little fella is doing well on it--you've done the right thing for now. It's a hard decision, but watching him suffer, unable to focus and learn would be harder.
After you and Riley have learned some skills together, you may not always need to medicate, depending on how cognitively impaired he is by having ADHD.
Please keep us posted on your progress.
I'm sure some parents here will respond and you may even be surprised at how supportive and helpful they can be when you and Riley are struggling
Hello amanda!
I am in the situation of having to decide whther to put my girl on meds or not.
After reading a lot on this board and also books and magaznes i have come to the conclusion that anything that makes your child have it easier is a great thing. From what i read about meds they are simply there to regulate the disorder in the childs brain. Its not affecting the personality in any way. ADHD kids have it hard enough and there is just so much that we as their parents can do to make their lives better.
The way i am starting to see this is why do we give our kids medicine when they have flu? To take some of the pain away. This is not much different i think.
ADHD is painful. Not physically but still pain.
Two thumbs up for your courage lady i know it is a rough decision :)
SusanneAUT39780.4067361111Susanne:
If your health care provider is suggesting a medication, you could try it. If it isn't right you can change or stop.
It might be worth a try because your daughter sounds like a sweetie and if she can do better, this might be an option for her.
i want to thank all of you for your kind words. it helps to know that there are other parents out there having the same trouble with there kids. riley has been better behaved and been able to focus more in daycare his teachers are really happy with what has been going on. im getting better every day with having to give him the meds and i know that they are helping him and hopefully at some point he wont need them anymore.
My son has been on guanfacine and concerta since he was 6. It has changed his life for the better. I wish I had started him on meds at an earlier age. It would have prevented things from happening.
I applaud you for having the courage to do what you are doing. 
Unfortunately, I was afraid, but my own fears made my child suffer and have things happen to him from others, all because of MY fears.
I commend your bravery.
I heartily disagree with that opinion and take the view that epokey and many others here have taken--we use medications because they make illnesses better. We don't take them "just because," and using medication is *not* a sign of "failure" in any way.
If you have a serious infection--you take an antibiotic to kill the harmful bacteria. If you have allergies, you take an allergy medication to alleviate the awful symptoms/reactions like burning eyes and a snotty nose. If you have a condition like ADHD, you take medication to manage your symptoms and allow you to function successfully in school, at work, etc.
At one point in my life, after a miscarriage, I took medication along with therapy to recover from depression. It worked--it wasn't something I had to do forever--but it was necessary to get better.
I know that here in the US, there is a love/hate relationship with medications. All I can say is: Having DS use medication for ADHD has allowed his sweet personality to bloom where others can see it, too. His behavior in school has been so good, he has been getting weekly behavior awards most weeks. Before the medication--writeups almost every day. All I can say to others who may be reluctant: Consider the risks, but also consider the benefits. Ask your health care provider lots of questions. Read, read, read! If you are not sure, perhaps be willing to try it--you can always stop if you think it's not working or is making things worse.
Medication for our son's ADHD has really been a great benefit. :)
Dee
[QUOTE=graiae66]A friend of mine made a totally foolish comment about medication: "Medication [for a behavior] means we failed." (Her daughter is having severe anxiety, and she refuses to consider anything other than talk therapy, even as a temporary measure).
Dee
[/QUOTE]
Gack. That sort of bollocks rots my socks. Letting the kid suffer because of ignorant preconceptions.
Even if a problem is based on life trauma, there are some life circumstances that CANNOT be avoided.
A six-year-old can't "talk through" what they can't understand. It's idiocy. How do you teach a six-year-old "mindfulness/meditation" techniques or phobia desensitization? They lack the basic intellectual capacity at that age to even BEGIN to understand that sort of self-controlling process.
Okay so a bomb blows up in Beirut and the kid sees body parts. The parents "failed" because a child can't talk that through? WTF? Is this woman a dolt?
Or schizophrenia or autism? Good luck parenting your way through THAT without medications.
Spect scans now prove that ADHD'ers chemically lack neophrine [and sometimes seretonin] in the frontal lobe. It isn't even an open question anymore. It's science. Mother Freakin' Teresa would lose her patience with a high-maintanence ADHD kid and why should the kid suffer needlessly?
BLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!
I just thought I'd share - I have a son who is 25 and one that is 12 both with ADD. Regardless of weather is ADD or ADHD if the medicine seems to be helping continue it! My point is that you need to be very greatful that you have isolated your son's problem at a very early age. You can give him the medicine and it will just be accepted as part of his normal life. My older son wasn't diagnosed until he was 15 yrs old and it was impossible to get him to take his meds. This is not something you can force onto anyone who has ADD/ADHD, so I lost the battle before I ever got started with him. He still refuses to take medication although he knows he needs them and struggles with everything. After learning of the ADD issues with my older son, I noticed the behaviors immediately with my younger son, he was diagnosed at 4 yrs old. He takes his medicine (Adderall XR) everday and just thinks that it's a normal part of life. Currently he is 12 yrs old and doing very well in 7th grade. I thank god that we noticed things right away. My older son is a classic example of how you would prefer that your child doesn't turn out like. Adult, Unmedicated and for the most part disfunctional. Not tying to be a downer, in fact just the opposite. I want you to realize how blessed your child will be because you caught things early and he will be a happier more productive person for it. If you'd like some interesting reading get any book by Daniel Amen, he is an expert on the subject. All my best to you and your Family.
WOW!
It's like I could have posted this a few months back. My son Blake is 7 and was diagnosed with ADHD combined type a year and a half ago...Long story short we decided only ot medicate if the ADHD effected his education. I got so tired of my son being segregated in the back of the class and bringing home work that I couldn't even understand, and having no friends. That's when I decided it was time, and let me tell you i am SO glad I did. My son has been on Concerta for 2 months now and he is starting to actually absorb information! He is bringing home 100% on papers and tests. The proudest moment was when he brought home a paper I could read!
Please son't short change your child, that deserve to learn just like everyone else. In the last 2 months, he has learned more than he ever could in the last 2 years of school.
My only advice is to be honest with your child. I explained to Blake that this was a medication, not to change him, but to only help him to concentrate. i assured him that if he felt "funny" AT ALL that I would immediately stop and try another. The open line of communication we have makes him feel like he is in controll.
You can do this! and please remember with children like ours, we are not only mothers/fathers but more importantly ADVOCATES! Good luck and remember we are all behind you 
This is my first post here. (I'm going to post more about my son in a minute).
I can say that I agonized about putting my son on medication (he takes Metadate). However--once we did and made the brief adjustment, it has been just wonderful. We did try behavior management and some diet management first, but it just wasn't enough to help my son. Now he's been on Metadate about a year and combined with behavior management, it's worked wonders.
I understand reasonable caution about medications--but for many kids (and parents), it is a lifesaver that allows them to do well in school and really enjoy being a kid!
Best to you and your son,
dee