Why are anger issues common w/ADHD boys? | ADHD Information

My son is having some defiance issues these days and was just recently diagnosed with ADHD, combined type.  We have not got him on any meds yet, but will be meeting with his pediatrician in the next week or so (we just got the ADHD report today).  Based on some of the posts I have read tonight, it seems the anger issues are so prominent, especially with boys.  It also seems like they get worse as the boys get older.  My DS is only 6 right now and I am really scared what the future might hold.  Any feedback would be helpful.  We are trying behaviour modification too..... are there any professionals that help with this or do you just do your best as a parent and read lots of books?

Thanks!

Actually, now that you know what you're dealing with it's likely to get easier--not harder because you can plan your approaches.

And that is my cheery news for you today


My son also has had defiance issues in the past but you would be amazed how much he has changed when he is on his med for adhd. I think for him at least part of the issue was frustration and anxiety. As far as behavior mod. we have tried just about everything you can think of however as he gets older you can rationalize with him a little more. So that makes things easier also. Good luck.

Hi,

I don't know if this will help but my son is VERY difficult, head strong and oppositional when not on meds. When he is on meds he literally is a different child (for the better). It's as if a switch is flipped and he becomes happy. My husband and I say it sends chills down our spine. We are happy to get to the happy place with our son but it is a bit frightning to see the difference. On the other hand my daughter also adhd (more inattentive) shows none of the switch flipping personality changes on the meds. She is more attentive and a bit more compliant on the meds but nothing night and day.

Regarding behavior modifications they really help but if a child is more on the severe side of adhd meds are the most effective. One thing you might watch for is that unmedicated my son missed social cues which affected his friendships and in turn his self esteem. Sadly, these kids "get" that they don't "get it" but don't understand how to socially "get it". On meds his relationships have improved greatly and no amount of behavior modifications would have helped with his relationships with friends. It is really quite profound the personality difference and his sense of overall happiness on the meds. Evenings and mornings off the meds are another story but I don't want to scare you. Good luck. Just remember just because you try meds doesn't mean you have to continue and it could take several attempts to find the right type of med and dose.

I don't deal with anger issues. I don't think it is my son, not at all. He is very laid back and the type who wants to please. He only gets upset at his younger sister who can agrevate him when SHE is bored.

If he gets upset, it is when he is frustrated.

I wish he would get mad, especially when playing football, he would be more agressive, only when allowed to for the sport!

Thanks everyone.  I think Kyle is at the moderate to severe end of the ADHD spectrum, as much as I hate to admit it.  Hopefully the meds will help.  He is doing better on the aggression issues at school, but at times will be difficult at home.... at least it is not everyday.  We are working hard to learn what type of tactics to take with him - and giving him warning in advance of activity shifts or consequences seems to help.  This whole process just seems so overwhelming at times... and isn't raising well adjusted kids hard enough with "normal" kids.  I know have to deal with transplant and ADHD issues!  Ugh!  I guess I am having a pity party for myself this morning!

Hey Kim,

If it helps to deal with it, my son is at the HHHHHH for the hyper and impulsive end of the spectrum, if one does exist.

Believe me, it does get better as they get older.

My son is 11 and we talk about it. I tell him he is lucky to be in a very small group of distinguished people, some who are famous for their accomplishments duet to probabaly their ADHD. (Edison, Ford, etc - my son loves these two guys) The list goes on.

Hang in there, we are all with you!!

Thanks Bethann.  You raised an interesting point - discussing the ADHD with your child.  Since Kyle is only 6 right now, we have not told him (or his older sister for that matter).... what we have told him is that he is having some food sensitivity issues related to too much sugar.  I have been trying to modify their diets to consume less sugar and carbs and more protein - not so easy in this day and age!  I think cutting the sugar intake does help and had a few examples of it this past weekend when one day Kyle had too much sugar and carbs and his behaviour was terrible (thanksgiving at grandmas - I felt like I was going backwards and deailing with a toddler I had to follow around) and the next day, again with family, but less sugar - he was much better.  I pointed this out to him and he seemed to agree the two days were different, with one being better.

I just don't think at his age he would really understand the whole ADHD thing... but is there an age or time that they seem to get it best?

Remember, they are immature, socially behind a year, if not more. Don't get hung up on it at 6. My son is 11 1/2. He is mature when the meds have kicked in, but immature when unmedicated - a huge difference. Meds are the best thing that has happened to my son. And he was still 6 when we started.

Keep doing what you are doing. He will get it. I have always 'talked" about it, to the best of his ability, but he can now tell me about him and how he feels since he is older.

I never worried about the sugar thing, my son is hyper. Remember ahdh'ers have trouble pushing their own glucose through their brain, that is where the hyperness comes in, I learned this from a mom who went back to school to become a special ed teacher. THey move constantly to push it through the brain. The meds actually does this for him, and others.

 

No Grapes?

I'm DOOMED
I use this analogy because I think it's more clear than using a disease analogy.

When you have a headache, you take a tylenol. Now, nobody can SEE your headache but they know you are grouchy and you can't pay attention and nothing seems quite right. Only YOU can feel that headache.

When you take the tylenol then you don't have a headache and are much easier to get along with and you don't feel so awful anymore.

That's what ADHD meds do.

People don't see inside your head, they just  that something isn't working. And they can see you do much better after you take your meds.

Fairly young children can get that concept.

Hi Kim,

My DS, now 13, was 5 when dx'd.  He was on meds and they worked great for us (then puberty hit....but you are a long way from that!).  Anyway, the meds should help a lot.  We also tried behavioral therapy at the same time - it was a complete waste of money for us because my DS was just too young to understand.  His therapist had some great ideas but my DS just didn't "get it" so after about 6 months we quit therapy (figuring we would go back when he was older).  Things went so well with the meds we never went back.  Now my DS is 13.  We can talk about his ADHD and he can tell me how he feels - that is sooo helpful!  As for the anger, I think that is the result of frustration.  My DS was angry before being dx'd and I think it was because he was in trouble a lot.  Once he went on the meds, he didn't get in trouble because he had better control of himself and he could focus better.  His anger went away.  It is good you have "caught" your DS's issues early and can get him help early on! 

As for diet, my DS needs lots of protein to balance the carbs so you are on track there.  You may also want to eliminate dyes from his diet - that made a HUGE difference in my DS's hyperness.  Another food "group" that makes my DS extremely hyper are foods high in salycilates (tomatoes, apples, grapes, etc.).  Feel free to pm me if you want more info. 

Just some thoughts.  This board is very helpful!!!!  You have come to right place.

Good luck!

 

Kim,

Hi. My son is 11 1/2 and had ADHD combined type, on the hyper end of the spectrum. He was dx'd when he was 6 years old. Medication has been very helpful for him as far as school, but now that he is in
middle school he is having a lot of social issues, mostly because he is immature and doesn't do well socially. He can makes friends, but has a hard time keeping them. It's hard, medication won't fix everything, but
helps! That is all very interesting.  I can now explain what ADHD is to my son and others who ask!  Our son is only 6, going on 7 also.  I tell him the pill he takes every day is his Focus pill.  This way he understands that it helps him stay focused in school and when doing homework.  I want to talk to him more about ADHD but when he is a bit older and can grasp the meaning of it all.  I do like hearing about other well known successful people that have or had ADHD.  I will pass along Ford and Edison.  WHat about Einstein?  Anyone know?

Thanks,
Jen M.
We have talked to DS (who is 7 and will be 8 in June), and we've tried to make sure he doesn't feel like ADHD is a negative stigma in any way. The hard thing to do is put it all in "age appropriate" language. One thing we've been able to do this year is ask him to do some journaling about ADHD. This isn't fancy writing, lol, but just a way of letting him express his thoughts and feelings.

Dee
[QUOTE=jmpaula]That is all very interesting.  I can now explain what ADHD is to my son and others who ask!  Our son is only 6, going on 7 also.  I tell him the pill he takes every day is his Focus pill.  This way he understands that it helps him stay focused in school and when doing homework.  I want to talk to him more about ADHD but when he is a bit older and can grasp the meaning of it all.  I do like hearing about other well known successful people that have or had ADHD.  I will pass along Ford and Edison.  WHat about Einstein?  Anyone know?

Thanks,
Jen M.
[/QUOTE]

I always have a problem with delineating historical figures in psychopathology because we weren't there.

Some people diagnosed with ADHD right now is interesting
Lee Evans-Comedian
Howie Mandel-comedian
Dustin Hoffman-Actor
Jim Carey-Actor
Robin Williams Actor/Comedian
Jason Timberlake-Actor
Bill Gates -Computer software, world's richest man
Magic Johnston-sports
Micheal Jordon-sports
Ozzie Ozborne-musician
John Denver-musician
Stevie Wonder-musician
Clarence Page-journalist


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