My 6 year old daughter has ADHD. She is not doing well in school and is having a hard time catching on, reading is the worst. Tomorrow I am meeting with the school to talk about an IEP. this is all so hard for me and I wondering how to help her. She has melt downs all the time and I can see her get so frusterated and angery. I want to help her so much and I just don't know how. She takes Vyvanse and it is wonderful, but is not in her system in the morning and has worn off early evening. It is so hard on me because I don't know how to help her. my son is suspected combined ADD/ADHD, at 11 he has decided that he is totally ok and doesnt need anything of what his mum has (diagnosis, professional check, meds). He is not and wont be diagnosed because he feels he doesnt need it. I have been through a difficult time with this but can now accept his view and only want to be there for him and support him in the best way I can with or without a diagnosis.
Just forget this if you think its rubbish
but dont get too weighed down with the diagnosis, every ADDer is an individual anyway. When you talk to the teachers maybe try to talk about the symptoms and try to steer clear of the diagnosis - I could imagine that the professionals have their own ideas as to what ADS actually means which is different and less understanding than ours.
Pursue the meds issue of course, their is some very helpful information on this forum to help. I feel that the only thing I have to help my son is knowledge about the symptoms and I have a good contact if he ever wanted to talk to a professional, which he doesnt.
You have very different issues at 6 years but I get the feeling that the principle is the same - I am helping my son by being aware and ready for things - you are already doing much more than you think for your daughter and when the meds get sorted she will start to blossom.
One practical tip I learned from an ADD parent training course, which seems to help in more ways than I expected - when you notice something specific which is good in your childs behavious remember it and then when you both (child and you) feel in the right mood, ie doesnt have to be immediate, when both calm and you actually feel like giving positive praise yourself and its appropriate for them, then give them the specific positive praise, show them that you notice the good things.
If you think of a vial with liquid. The average person has maybe 20% of that test tube filled with frustration/stress etc.
An ADHD person has 80-99%% filled before the day starts. Your daughter is struggling to read and each letter is another drop in the vial. By the time anything else happens, the vial is overflowing and she erupts.
It's very hard to "help" an ADHD'er who is riding that top end of frustration. That's what makes it so painful to watch a child, as a parent, because you KNOW they're trying their best but the liquid just keeps overflowing.
Medication sometimes helps evaporate some of the liquid.
I'll give you an example today from an adult perspective. I was trying to hook up a game. Why a game? Because games stop and start and have reward systems. Therefore, if I install one, I will run and back and forth and do housework simultaneously, so my housework will get done as the GAME rewards me [okay it's weird but it works. I do not find housework at all rewarding].
Well, I've played my old games to death and there's lots of free ones. I spent HOURS trying to get one installed with a DOS box and by the end I was weeping in frustration. Literally crying. Over something THAT stupid. Because not only were no games running--by trying to set one up I wasted my day and the housework didn't get done either. Now that's an ADULT. I should know better. It's not hard to do.
Your child is dealing with 10x that in school every day.
If the Vyvanse is helping--is there any way to get it into her earlier for school? Or split the dose to last longer or something?
To help her--you have to first understand what you're dealing with. That's why we're happy to see you here.
So welcome aboard!
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