Hello and help with jargon? | ADHD Information

I third it. Follow the schools lead. They want to help your son.

He sounds ADHD, but I also wonder about Aspberger's since you mention he lives in a fantasy world where he is in charge. That is very typical of them living in a fantasty world and they become obsessed with things, maybe only one thing, but obsessed. They are also usually very intelligent, not great social skills, play alone, do not seek out friends, poor eye contact (although my adhd'er had this as well), the list can go on.

Some are very similar between adhd and aspb but people can have both!

Stay with what the school is doing for your son, you are very lucky to have their support!!

Post to us as things progress or you just want to talk!!

Regards!!

I'm sorry, I live in the US and am not familiar with the words/terms names you mentioned. But let us know if you find out--I am very interested in the treatment of ADHD children in other countries.

One thing you said struck me as I have gone through the same thing--you and your husband are NOT bad parents. You have a child who may have what we call an "exceptionality," simply meaning he falls outside a normal range of behavioral expectations for his age. This is NOT your fault. I think a recent stat I read said about 5% of all children may have ADD or ADHD. Onlookers who have no idea what a parent may be going through, struggling with a child with ADHD, make mean and harsh snap judgements and say cruel things. I used to be petrified to take DS anywhere with me because it meant exhaustion and a nervous wreck for me. Now that he's been diagnosed and treated for about a year, it's just so much more fun being a parent.

I agree with Metis--work with the schools, take the referral and hopefully. your son can receive treatment that will help him. The diary idea is great--I wrote a couple of pages when we first got our referral, and the doctor found it very helpful.

Dee

Hi everyone,

My gorgeous son Adam will be 5 in a few weeks and started school in September. Prior to this he used to go to a day nursery 4 days a week.

The school have been speaking with me about his angry, violent and provocative behaviour for some time now. They were hopefull it was just him settleing in but in my heart I knew that his behaviour was not normal. As a baby/toddler at nursery he used to bite at least 2 children, EVERY day, and the last year he started lashing out at nursery staff also. He gets so cross as soon as somebody acts in charge over him. He is the same at home - he will come up and pinch me for no reason just to cause an explosion.

We have been working very hard with the help of every book I can lay my hands on and spend lots of fun time with him, time outs, reward charts, losing treats etc, you name it. But in his head, its like 'hey... what can they really do?' Its like he lives in his own fantasy world where he is the one in charge and how dare anyone else try to tell him what to do. He can't sit still for more than a few seconds and his attention span is poor.

Academically he is doing amazingly well. He is on the year ahead books and math work. Its like the academic side of his brain is a year ahead but the emotional side is still stuck in terrible twos!!

So his teacher has now made an appointment for us to see their school behaviour support rep. We have our appointment on the 7th Janauary. They are going to look at our home life, school life, social life, and environment and make recommendations to BEST and CAM. Please... could someody tell me who these organisations are? I have googled them and have no luck.

I know I should have asked his teacher... but it's so hard when you hear that your son had an okay day but that he hit one child with his lunch box and pinched another during circle time for no reason at all.

The teacher also said that the lady we are seeing has recommended that we are as honest as possible, no matter how hard it might be. Does anyone know what she might be getting at? I am wracked with guilt that I have somehow caused my son to behave like he does... but I know me and my husband are good parents. We dont beat him, we are a very loveling and close family and are doing everythinig that we can think of to help him.

I am grateful that the school are helping with assessments and referrals. But in my heart of hearts I know he has something mentally wrong. Maybe ODD, maybe ADHD. I can't say when it all started as if I am honest... he has always been this way. It has just gotten worse over the past year or so.

It's heartbreaking watching my son. He looks like there couldnt be anything wrong with him and he can be so kind and helpful when he chooses.

Does anyone know what type of things the behavioural support lady will want to talk about? I was thinking of keeping a diary so I have something to show her.

Any help or suggestions would be so helpful.

[QUOTE=gemma2107]

Hi everyone,

My gorgeous son Adam will be 5 in a few weeks and started school in September. Prior to this he used to go to a day nursery 4 days a week.

If he's not getting the word "no" and you've tried, there's something going on and in your heart you know it.

"To cause an explosion"? I'd suggest not giving him that response. Depending on what is going on inside his head [negative attention/whatever] it's not going to work.

I think you might just have nailed it. It's in HIS head--important distinction for you to keep in mind

He can't sit still for more than a few seconds and his attention span is poor.

That might be ADHD. The other behaviours might be something else. You really need a diagnosis.

Academically he is doing amazingly well. He is on the year ahead books and math work. Its like the academic side of his brain is a year ahead but the emotional side is still stuck in terrible twos!!

A genius kid with a personality or learning disorder isn't uncommon. Someone posted a big article about it around here somewhere.

In my case, I call it "double trouble"

You need a full scale mental health analysis on this child. ASAP. A 'support rep' isn't the solution until you know what you're dealing with, here.

The teacher also said that the lady we are seeing has recommended that we are as honest as possible, no matter how hard it might be. Does anyone know what she might be getting at?

She means if you believe in spanking/hitting, how you are responding to these episodes and such. If a child has ADHD, ODD [which is a precursor to psychopathology in some cases] or another disorder, it's hard as a parent NOT to over-react or respond as we would with a more 'normal' child because we are unsure. Nothing to be ashamed of.

We all make errors when we don't know what it is we're looking at. For Example: if a kid runs up behind you and punches you in the kidneys hard--what's the first response with your elbow? That doesn't make a bad parent--it makes someone human until they unlearn the obvious response...

I am wracked with guilt that I have somehow caused my son to behave like he does... but I know me and my husband are good parents. We dont beat him, we are a very loveling and close family and are doing everythinig that we can think of to help him.

Sometimes, you can do all the loving things but the kid comes hard-wired with a different set of instructions.

He didn't come home from the hospital with operating instructions typed on his diapers that say,

"This one comes with complete with ADHD energizer batteries--be clear with all instructions in under three sentences and purchase large quanitites of valium before pushing the ON switch"

It's heartbreaking watching my son. He looks like there couldnt be anything wrong with him and he can be so kind and helpful when he chooses.

If he's ADHD he's is kind when the chaos in his brain slows enough to let him think straight. If he's ODD he's kind when he sees an advantage in it for him.

That's why you need a professional diagnosis. It's hard to figure out what will work with the kid if you have no idea what's the driving force behind the difficult behaviours. Once you know that--you can plan how to be the best parent you are trying so hard, to be. And sometimes the correct medications can make the road a little easier for all of you.

Does anyone know what type of things the behavioural support lady will want to talk about? I was thinking of keeping a diary so I have something to show her.

Grand idea! Do it, do it, do it!

See if you can link up the behaviours to situations--what happened just before, what happened during the incident, and how it was, or was not, resolved and how he acted after the incident.

Any help or suggestions would be so helpful.

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I think you figured most of it out yourself

Keep us posted!