Holidays are rough for ADHD kiddos | ADHD Information

[QUOTE=ashleysmommee]All these social get togethers are very stressful on us. Today we are heading to my mother in law's and I am having to leave my daughter with my parents (who understand her better than others). I just cant stand the way she hovers over Ashley and acts like she is going to break something, or gets mad when Ashley says she hates the food


Hey, at least her honesty is never in question

(my daughtr has no ability to think before she speaks even on meds, she is very impulsive) or acts embarassed when she starts to get excited and squeaks or starts to get overly hyper from all the stimuli. I literally feel sick thinking about it. I dont want her to think I am embarassed of her and thats why she doesnt come, but when I ask her she says she doesnt want to go either so I think she feels stressed as well.

Of course she does. Nobody likes to go places where they feel constantly disapproved of--it's one of the reasons I hate family functions, as well.

Does anyone else feel this way around the holidays, or even for any social events?

Hate 'em. Loathe 'em. Avoid 'em like the bubonic plague. Getting plastered  helps but Ashley's too young

What do you do to make those situations more comfortable for everyone?

Start with a few stock rehearsed lines for those embarrassing moments. Secondly BEFORE you go, explain a few simple rules to the kid--don't assume an ADHD kid has the foggiest notion of social behaviour. If you can, get them outside to play and run around away from the adults to burn off some hyper.

Tina
[/QUOTE]Tina, I too hate the holidays. I've blabbed elsewhere about my totally unsympathetic in-laws. DH IS going to give them a handout of info about ADHD in general; I hope it will help. We have a couple of activities planned with friends, so I hope the only day we have to hang around there much is Christmas day itself.

But, no, I think you are smart to let DD stay with the grandparents who accept her for who she is.

I think the only things to do are: explain the situation as best you can to the child. Try to confide, if possible, to those who you are visiting, about what to expect (and no, this is not always possible). Limit the time you are there. Have activities to do to stay "out of the way" if you can.

At least, that's how we're dealing. Everyone is probably in a different place.

Dee
All these social get togethers are very stressful on us. Today we are heading to my mother in law's and I am having to leave my daughter with my parents (who understand her better than others). I just cant stand the way she hovers over Ashley and acts like she is going to break something, or gets mad when Ashley says she hates the food (my daughtr has no ability to think before she speaks even on meds, she is very impulsive) or acts embarassed when she starts to get excited and squeaks or starts to get overly hyper from all the stimuli. I literally feel sick thinking about it. I dont want her to think I am embarassed of her and thats why she doesnt come, but when I ask her she says she doesnt want to go either so I think she feels stressed as well.

Does anyone else feel this way around the holidays, or even for any social events? What do you do to make those situations more comfortable for everyone?

Tina
I  totally know what you mean.  My inlaws (especially my father in law) can be very critisizing of our DS.  Especailly when my sister in laws kids are around who are to polar opposite of my son.  They are attentive and they play quietly and stay seated when eating.  You can tell they all look down on my kid like he's contagious.    I hate them for this and we avoid going to their home at all costs.  I dont want my son to pick up on their negativity.  There are times when you cant help it like the holidays so i knash my teeth together and bear it the best I can.  I advold all my mothers side of the family, because they are total JERKS towards me because one thing I have ADHD and another is because I am not blood line kin to them.

Only 2 that ever accepted me for who I am was my Grandfather and one brother on my moms side and since my grandfather passed away 2 years ago, my uncle is the only one that I will have anything to do with.

That's my reality.

Cave rat,

At least you have who you have. Cherish them. they accept you for who you are. Stay close to them!! You are lucky and blessed to have them in your life!

A little harder to do than to say. Even my own mother won't have anything to do with them. You could reduce the holiday to a quick dessert and presents only. Jessica N39908.3823726852This makes me laugh because when we go to other people's houses, my son heads straight for the back door and goes outside and doesn't come in unless we make him, regardless of the weather.  He chased my friend's dog around for 2 hours last week while our girls played, but outside he gets to run and doesn't get in trouble for knocking anything or anyone over.  My inlaws were first upset that I just let him go straight out the back door, but then they didn't let him go once and he ran in the house, tripped and they had to drive us the hospital to get his forehead glued shut, so they don't give us a hard time anymore. And just give a blanket "Sterling was having a rough day" excuse for other family events that aren't kid friendly so I don't have to deal with it.  I never thought an er trip would make my life easier Hi there i am a newbee my daughter has been diagnosed with adhd today , starting meds tomorrow yes yes yes i so know what you are saying, i spend my whole day meaditing between children to make sure K (MY DAUGHTER) is being fairly treated and then making sure she is not destrying or being disruptive to other children property, which she does. She hit her sister when frustrated, very impussiveI always got kudos from my family for sticking with my son and not letting
him get ramped up with the rest of his cousins until they wreak some havok
or another. Little did they know it was because he'd be doing his own
wreaking within about 10 seconds of arriving if I didn't hover!