Thanks for the last two replies...the meds do wear off for him after dinner so like the idea of loading him up on food later on at night.
This post has given me such comfort, education, and relief regarding my situation than in the last 2 years. THANK YOU all again.
V
[/QUOTE]Kudos to you for being concerned and supportive regarding your stepson's treatment! However, his mom's denial as well as his dad backing her 100% is concerning. I understand that you feel you have no say when it comes to your stepson, but you do have a say when it comes to your toddler twins and their safety. I would be concerned, too.
I am no expert as far as ADHD meds go. My son is off all meds now, including ADHD med, due to reactions; currently being evaluated for another possible disorder. However, I have heard different takes on the subject of weekend breaks: Some time ago, I was told by a therapist that my son's ADHD meds (in his particular case) were optional; was also told by someone weekend breaks were okay. On the other hand, I have read the opinion that stopping ADHD meds on the weekend can be a problem. I am not very helpful, as you can see!
You might try researching the subject online and consulting a physician regarding med breaks. I hope you can get your husband on board as far as safety issues go. Good luck to you!
Thank you for the reply and the support. I really had not thought of the medication as being "optional" and that opens up a whole new perspective that I need to accept and explore. Wish we could get him in Behavior Modification Therapy! THANKS AGAIN and Happy New Years. Concerta should be one of the meds you can stop and start, but it affects the whole family as you know so we have never given med breaks. I can't take the hyper non compliant gremlin that is beneath the meds. Besides he feels so much better with them. And we can actually do something on the weekend if we want and he will not be out spinning circles looking for butterflies while we are at the museum or wherever. Just my opinion. Some docs tell their patients to take med breaks so their kids will eat.We tried giving med breaks on weekends and holidays a few times, and we realized it doesn't work. The break was intended (in our case) to hopefully stimulate his appetite. And yes, we did ask, and the doctor said it was fine to go off for a day or two.Hello,
I'm new to the boards. I have quite a difficult situation. I am the stepmom of an ADHD step son. Age 7. He was diagnosed formally, 18 months ago and is being treated with Concerta. Problems are many but mostly, his mom (also adhd adult but refusestreatment) refusing to REALLY acknowledge the severity of his problem, his very aggressive and over the top jealous behavior to my 2 year old twin boys, his half brothers, and his disrutpive and destrucive behavior destroying our family. I know that is a lot to cover...but my main concern is she took him off his medication without discussing it with my husband over break and expects us to do the same this week. His mom thinks he needs to NOT take his medication on weekends and school breaks because last DR visit it was noticed that he didnt gain much weight since the last years vistit. Well, no wonder, he can't sit down long enough to eat his food because even on Concerta he cant focus unless he is forced to eat. What do you all think about stopping meds on breaks? Isnt it awful to make a child go through the high and lows? Cant find anything about this speciifcally.
He comes to our house this saturday and is TOTALLY boucning off the walls and couldnt even enjoy ANY of the xmas gifts that he got cause he was so hyper. He then proceeded to almost break my baby's arm by twisting it around his back and bruised his arm.
Why take a child off medication? I thought as little change to routine as possible....isn't that a pretty big change in routine? How long does it take for the full effects of Concerta to get back into the childs system? Is school next week going to be a disaster?
On another note, His mom ignores the fact that the kid has NO friends. They have him in Scots, no other activiites but in school, he graviates and plays with the girls at recess because the boys wont play with him. Teacher says she thinks it is because he blurts out insults (I trying to be funnY) I think and the kids dont like him. Scouts, he may pal around with a disabled child once in a while but no real social connection there either. She also refuses to send him to the behavior modifcation therapy because she doesnt want him to be labeled by going to a therapist. But in the mean time this child suffers.
Being a step mom, I have no voice. My husband supports the his ex wife 100% in all the decisions she makes regarding this child and in the mean time, since they were born, I can't leave my step son alone in the same room with my kids because of aggressive, inapporiate interest in private parts, and just bad behavior.
Instead of being the wicked stepmother and being seen as critizing their child, where can I direct them for education to help this little boy?
Thank you in advance
addstepmom: You are certainly welcome. Happy New Year to you, too.
Regarding my previous post: I should add that my son is considered ADHD, mainly inattentive, so hyperactivity was not a big issue. However, I can certainly understand that if hyperactivity was an issue, taking weekend med breaks could cause difficulties.
hanginindere39811.487962963My son does not notice highs and lows. He seems oblivious. He's actually deliriously happen when he's not medicated. I think to myself, where can I get some of that?
No appetite and failure to gain weight is a common and undesirable side effect to stimulant medication. It's common to not give it on holidays and summer vacation. At some point, they need to eat enough to gain weight.
I've noticed that as soon as my son started taking meds, his behavior in the morning before he took them was much, much worse. He takes them at 8 am and they work for 8 hours. During the rest of each day, the ADHD symptoms are exaggerated. I have to take him off meds for 3 days before he returns to his "normal" and more manageable ADHD symptom level. I wonder if others are experiencing this? It's not possible to do this on weekends because the symptoms are hightened the entire time.
Perhaps when your step son is off meds the visit should be restricted to 2-3 hours, and you should have the toddlers separated from him, or even take them somewhere else. Or change the tradition so that he comes over for dinner Christmas Eve, opens presents, and leaves. If he comes over again this holiday, perhaps it should be a father/son day OUT. I'm betting that he is excited by all of the people at your house, and that his mother does not see the same behaviors with just the two of them.
His mom may not be ignoring the no friends problem. You call other parents, and invite kids over for playdates. No one calls back, even if you call 15 people. You send out 25 birthday invitations and feel relieved when four kids RSVP. Your child says that everyone is having sleepovers. But the phone is not ringing for sleepovers or for playdates. This is not information that I tell anyone. If mom picks another child who is experiencing social rejection to invite over, she may have more luck.
I have 2 ADHD children; one of which has autism thrown into the mix.Thanks! I would love some suggestions on what high calorie food you are able to get him to eat. His appetite picks up in the evenings probally after the meds have worn off, so I let him snack on whatever. Any food suggestions would be great.
I'm jumping in here b/c I just posted last night about gaining weight problems with my 14 year old ds.
First, I have to agree with the other ladies that you have a right to be concerned about your step son AND your twins. You need to talk to your DH some more and maybe explain why you're concerned. Could you meet with the doctor, you hubby AND the ex wife? I know having a "meeting" with the ex might be uncomfortable but sometimes if they hear something from the doctor they might be more willing to listen.
We were also told that we could skip the meds (Adderall regular strength) for the weekends, entire summer, etc. Our dr said it was one of those meds that don't stay in your system for long. HOWEVER, we all agreed that he NEEDS to stay on the meds so we don't k*ll him (not literally). He's a great teenage boy but he gets REALLY REALLY obnoxious in your face when he's off his meds. He's never violent or disrespectful (besides regular teenage stuff) so fortunately that's not a problem but he just gets on our nerves b/c he's so hyper.
So even though he would benefit from coming off the meds to gain a little weight, my ex & his new wife, and my hubby and I all agreed that he needs the meds. I started buying high protein shakes for him to drink. He also gets his appetite back about 9-10 at night so I load him up with hot fudge sundaes, milkshakes, cereal or just about anything he will eat. During the day I literally have to remind him to eat.
In response to someone elses post about having rough mornings, we went through that last year. My DS's meds would wear off by dinner time and he could NOT fall asleep. He would still be awake at 2-3-4am and then have to get up at 6:30 for school. He was VERY VERY VERY nasty and ignorant in the am. I was almost afraid of him. We saw the dr and she felt it was from months of not sleeping. She said since the meds wear off by dinner, he's so hyper at night that he can't fall asleep. She said it's a common problem with ADHD kids. We tried a few things and finally started giving him Clonindine and Melatonin about 8pm. That helps him fall asleep by 10:30-11:00. This year, he's in high school and gets up at 6am. We're having the BEST year yet.
My son is 9yo. I do skip meds on weekends a lot (unless we have something planned where I need a bit more cooperation) so he will eat. I was told this was fine and that the med he is on does not need to build up in his system so he should be fine the first day he begins taking it again. We also skipped meds all summer and on school breaks up until this year. His insomnia returns (side effect of med) if he skips more then a few days and so we are giving it over this school break - with a couple days off so he'll eat better. My son is so quiet on the meds. I'm not used to it and I like to see his personality shine a bit more when off the meds. Of course there is a flip side. He is much more easiliy frustrated off the meds and has more meltdowns as a result so if it is a busy or stressful day ahead - he takes them.Thanks for the last two replies...the meds do wear off for him after dinner so like the idea of loading him up on food later on at night.
This post has given me such comfort, education, and relief regarding my situation than in the last 2 years. THANK YOU all again.
V
foods that will help your stepson maintain/gain weight (hopefully!)