hyperfocus or no focus at all. HELP | ADHD Information

OpenYourEyes-

Thanks for the link. I just visited. Wasn't sure what to make of the pics of the brain...Hmm, lumpy here smooth there. Went to some test for add subtypes, and it came out: inattentive: highly probable, cingulate: possible, the rest not probable. Both descriptions fit me, but it seems like I prefer the OCD-like stubbornness to the inattentive fog- if it were possible to do away with some symptoms and keep others....

Social Anxiety- social situations don;t make me anxious. They make me bored. I don't like parties unless there is some fun activity at the party....It is hard for me to make regular conversation (in person, on the phone, or in im. ) In email or message board, there is more time to organize thoughts into sentences. My ideal conversation would be something like a tour guide: a stranger rattling off information, and then leaving before we were left to discuss, say, our families and opinions about rugs.

I used to have a personal trainer at a gym, but quit before all our sessions were up even though I paid for all of them, because all I wanted was for him to tell me how to lift the weights. He wanted conversation- like- how was your friday? what music do you like? I did not have the guts to tell him that it would be nicer if he just acted like an excercize robot.

 

 

 

 

 

   

 

Thank you ADHDAdult for your support. I will check out the website you suggested later tonight...or tomorrow...hope it helps a bit :). If it doesn't, it's still nice to know that there is someone out there who can relate. Thanks. Hang in there too :).

As for floof-
People have different priorities. Different people get happy from different things.
Please don;t call me a self centered bitch because I voice frustration with some aspect of life. It is mean.

When you say- "you would have quite a different attitude if circumstances forced you into hermitage," you are pretty much stating that you believe that since you would make a sad hermit, everyone else in the universe would as well. Which is a self centered thought. When you say "If you get your priorities straight," you are indicating that you think you know what everyone's priorities should be. Based on what your own priorites are. Self centered again.

You reveal a true lack of emphathy in your inability to see outside your own little world, where you know what the answers are, what priorities are, and how a stranger would react to solitude.
 
And after vomiting some fortune cookie in the guise of advice (pretty much all your posts sound like vague fortune cookies), you resort to petty name calling.

And so I conclude that the self centered bitch is you :)

http://www.brainplace.com/bp/brainsystem/cingulate.asp

OCD/ADD/Social Anxiety co-morbidity is fairly common.   Over-active dopamine in one part of the brain, and under-active dopamine in another.

I lose my focus and cognitive abilities completely if there is a friend in the room when I'm trying to study.  This may be more OCD, which is I lock in on the other person and what theyre doing instead of my own work, and ADD because I don't seem to have normal attention bandwidth. 

HELP!

I was wondering if anyone has similar problems, and can offer suggestions.
A big problem of mine is that if I need/want to do a project that requires any level of attention- from reading  a simple novel to learning  a programming  language,  to  studying for a test,  I can only complete the task if lots of conditions are met. I can't read if another person is near me in a room. If a person interrupts me in the middle of doing something, I get extremely aggravated, completely lose sight of whatever I'm trying to do, and wind up putting the thing down. The lighting needs to be perfect, I can't be too tired or too awake, I need some kind of beverage near me, and maybe some munchies. But then I change my mind about the munchies, because lifting them and chewing them makes too much noise, forces me to leave the book/paper/computer for a second too long, forces me to lose my place and concentration groove. The music needs to be perfect. Then I change my mind and realize that I can't really work with music.

Finally, I get into the perfect brainstate for study, and everything falls into place perfectly- typing papers becomes rhythmic- almost mechanical and dancelike. I can't lift my face away from the page, and I stop measuring what I've read against what is left to read. I can pull an all nighter like this- pull off an A, or figure out a solution to some problem at work. I enjoyed the night and it was productive.
The problem is that the next time some task comes along, I am less lucky. My boyfriend says- before you start whatever you're doing, can I have a quick hug. Then the cat sits on the keyboard. There is a car accident outside. Something is creaking. Then I am hungry. Then sniffly. Then I want to play a video game, just for a minute.

I start to realize that time is passing, but then I remember that  the last time there was some task to  complete,  I started off all  distracted, and then with a couple of hours before the alarm clock, I fell into hyperfocus. Then pulled off an A. The same thing might happen this time. I could heroically save myself.

I wind up with an A, then an F, then an A, then an F. There are too many Fs. I switch majors. Switch departments. Same sequence of events.  I got a perfect SAT math score, but fail math class because I can't cram for a while, or lose a book with some graphs we need to bring in. I know that I can finish school, but what job that I want will hire me with a bizarre track record. Then I drop out.

I want to try college again, on meds (which I can't afford), without a boyfriend (who will be devastated without me- whose sister's wedding I was just a bridesmaid at- whose family has supported me somewhat for a while), without a roommate (too expensive), without a part time job (where will I live? what will I eat?), without any friends(distractions- I can easily do without...but I accidentally create friends while procrastinating.

People say that in life you have to balance things- work, relationships...
The only way I feel that I can be happy is either writing off work(work that requires focus and passion), or writing off every other life aspect. Emotionally, I can write relationships off- I would not mind being a hermit- but it would hurt the people who love me, and who I love(but would forget about given a couple weeks)


This has been too long...hope it's coherent, and not boring.
Laurala

Your not alone. In the group that I have attended hyperfocus or no focus at all is normal. I have a difficult time settling down to work/read most days. Depends on what the chemicals in the brain are doing that day. I  can't have noise around me at all when I read a book.  When I was in school I had to read things over and over and if I put the effort forth I got A-B if I didn't C's. School is very frustrating for ADD people. We have a different way of learning, more hands on usually.

Subliminals can help me focus at work, deep breathing, meditation. for subliminals ...quantumquest.com and dicksutphen.com....there are all kinds for concentration, peace of mind etc., they really help me.

I am 43 and still struggle with concentration, reading, focusing, even reading the boards can make my mind anxious. Even with meds like Strattera which help my focus I still have daily difficulties, it is just something we need to learn to live with and I KNOW that it is not easy!  HANG in there!

Do not take your relationships for granted.

We get pleasure from what we do for ourselves, but we get happiness from what we do for others.

If you get your priorities straight, you can be happy with ADD.  It's easy to say you wouldn't mind being a hermit, knowing that your loved ones wouldn't let you anyway. You would have quite a different attitude if circumstances forced you into hermitage. The most important ingredient to your prospective happiness has nothing to do with ADD, it has to do with not being a self-centered bitch. :)
I was kinda kidding about the "self - centered bitch" part. I just wanted to make sure you were paying attention.

But seriously, you take your relationships for granted. *All* human beings depend on relationships for their survival and happiness. For you to suggest that some people are different that way, is like saying that some people are born without the need to eat food. There are some things that are common to all human beings, and that we are fundamentally social creatures is one of them. Solitude is great, but only when it's temporary. You're in this world because your mother decided to feed you and shelter you as a child, but now that you don't need her to survive, you can just dispense with her? The classic response to that is "Hey man! I didn't ask to be born!". Whatever.

You have no sense of how lucky you are! You could win the lottery, become a famous author, find a cure for cancer, and you would still be miserable. You post on this board, claiming to be unhappy and seeking advice, and I'm telling you why that is.  Take it or leave it. You don't want the opinions of strangers? Don't ask then!
if relating is any help  the topic  could be    a title for my biography. I am back in school and have managed to   do ok in the classess that dont interest me low Bs and of course excelled in the ones that did high As... I really think in my case   I have a little more  disipline  than I had  when i went to school when I was younger...just enough to get by. I still thought  of skipping every Literture  class I had last sememster nad   felt likeI was going to the dentist entering every class  but... I WENT!